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12/13/2020 c11 Guest
I would have killed the bitch. This Bella is a pussy
8/10/2020 c16 Guest
Amazing story , but has some timeline issues and some spelling mistakes..
Nice story overall.. :)
12/4/2019 c1 CapriSunnyD
Okay. Wow. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess you were quite young when this was written. Overly strong main character, she is popular in every way, instant attraction and lust, and has a sad backstory. Whew, I think I will take my leave now.
12/4/2019 c3 CapriSunnyD
Why would someone, that spent a great deal of a century in solitude and very lonely, be snarky and very talkative? Her personality makes no sense to me. Every single time she spoke to someone it took me out of the story.
5/13/2019 c16 Poppyqueen97
Please update
4/25/2019 c16 DawnScarlet19610
One last thing, Bella tells Edward that she lived in a forest in 1901, yet she tells the Cullens that she was born in 1912. So that makes no sense whatsoever.
4/25/2019 c16 DawnScarlet19610
The story of what happened to her mother is harsh, but if would have been nice if you'd described how she was saying it, the reactions of the Cullens, etc. It also didn't come across as a story that someone would recount aloud. In writing, yes, there would be a lot of detail. But telling a story out loud is different. If Bella really locked all that up for a century, she wouldn't have been able to just tell the story like that with so much detail. I really like the ideas you have, I just think the execution is bad. Rosalie calling the Volturi was unrealistic. She wouldn't put her family in danger by bringing Aro's attention to them and she wouldn't have just acted on her own. And then Rosalie just bursts into tears and tells Bella her whole story, and then is immediately goody goody with her afterwards.

There's not enough time given for character development. Things happen too fast and suddenly. The way the Cullens found out about Bella's powers was also lame. Deciding to trust them with her secrets rather than accidently showing them with no choice would have been better.

It also makes no sense that Bella's mental shield blocks out all gifts, even ones that aren't mental like Jasper and Alice's. She's just a bit too powerful to be believable. She seemingly has no weaknesses and has enough power to take over the world. Another thing is that you never describe her physical appearance, not even once. So we can't even picture what she looks like while reading all of this.

There's also a lot of spelling mistakes that need to be looked after. I think with some touching up, this could be a really good story.
7/29/2018 c6 GreenSand
I hate Mondays too. School! I HATE SCHOOL. IT'S SO BORING.
4/13/2018 c16 Guest
Plz plz complete this!
It's plot is so unique. Plz do continue!
12/22/2017 c7 Guest
why is rosalie always a bitch
12/20/2017 c16 Mechcat
Just found this story. Good stuff! If you ever consider finishing it, people will be excited to read the rest! Thanks!
7/28/2017 c9 nessiesmith2012
I lied i tried one more chapter, and so wish i didn't. Weak bella and insta lust bull shit. Im sure many love this since the weak female contrast to the big strong guy is what makes money in books and theater but I so dislike this story only cause it had such potential to be just thrown away is sad.
7/28/2017 c6 nessiesmith2012
Right...ok so instant lust followed up by now she was never weak but all of a sudden around Edward well she just has to be weak right? Thanks for writing but i cant continue and not scoff or get frustrated every time little clumsy bella sways around edward.
7/28/2017 c5 nessiesmith2012
Please tell me she isnt gonna be this sappy the whole time? I was hoping for a normal romance not lust at first sight, which apparently has already shown signs of.
7/14/2017 c16 Guest
I LOVE you story! When are u going to update ?! (Sorry I just adore ur story and I want to read nore)
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