Just In
for Something Different

11/15/2018 c2 4The Pairing Guy
Fun story! I don't think the romance between Kyon and Yuki was as ambiguous as you claim in your notes - in fact, it was a little too blatant at points. But it was also very deep. I haven't read a lot of Kyon/Yuki stories, but I imagine there's a tendency to reduce her to a cliched shy girl or a cliched alien-learning-to-be-human, and I'm happy to say that you don't even come close to those pitfalls. Just like in the show, Yuki is an individual with lots of emotion and very limited ability to express it.

Mainly though, I came to check out Kyon taking Koizumi's suggestion! And that part was, in a way, handled even better. You set the stage so that it made perfect sense for Kyon to confess to Haruhi on that particular cycle. "Of all the times for me to remember that stupid joke!" - great line. Made me laugh. And sad though it is to say, Haruhi's reaction made perfect sense, too. Hopefully one day he'll confess his feelings again and she'll return them, but at this point in the timeline, that was the only reaction Haruhi could have had. I have to agree with Martin III, though - I want to know whether or not Kyon really meant it!
10/30/2018 c2 49Martin III
So, it looks like this is the only fic to answer what would have happened if Kyon had taken Koizumi's suggestion during "Endless Eight". And on one level, I'm disappointed, because it doesn't truly explore that premise, only uses it as a springboard to develop Kyon's relationship with Yuki. I hasten to clarify that I think it makes a very good springboard for that development, but you could have taken that route without leaving the initial premise untended. In particular, Kyon should have had some sort of thoughts about it after the fact. Whether he openly loves Haruhi, made a false confession for the sole purpose of escaping the time loop, or is repressing his feelings by telling himself it was a false confession, you'd expect him to have some reaction to this dramatic exchange beyond "Well, that was embarrassing." That he doesn't feels like a cop-out from the question of whether his confession was sincere.

That question presents an obvious dilemma for your story: If Kyon was being sincere, then that eliminates the romantic ambiguity you intended between him and Nagato, but if he wasn't, then his lack of hesitation or remorse for toying with Haruhi's feelings makes him look thoroughly reprehensible.

Going back to the beginning, though, the actual confession is convincingly executed (I really felt Kyon seemed desperate enough to try that) and the outcome is what one would expect. Poor Haruhi. She doesn't even know what she wants. Though I think she might have actually had a positive response if Kyon had tried it when Koizumi had suggested (the romance of night, and her sleepiness, might have made even Haruhi a bit more receptive to her emotions), rather than out of the blue in a public place, it makes sense that it would take the desperation of the last minute to galvanize him into taking action. After all, that's how Endless Eight ended.

Moreover, the exchanges between Kyon and Nagato are smooth reading, with strong, faithful characterizations for both of them. Your refraining from outright romance between the two of them is appreciated, not only because I'm not a fan of that pairing, but because overt expressions of affection are not in keeping with Nagato's character. She expresses herself according to her nature here. Granted, asking Kyon to tell her he loves her is rather forward, but not so much that I can't let it slide under the "Endless Eight made her nuts" explanation The Disappearance used.

Speaking of which: It seems you mimicked Durandall's then-recent "Error in Calculation" by having Nagato/the Data Integration Thought Entity know in advance that she was going to have an emotional breakdown. Your take works better than Durandall's since it incorporates time travel, meaning we can assume the reason she wasn't more proactive about ending the time loop in "Endless Eight" and wasn't replaced before she could go rogue, was because doing so would have created a time paradox. Nonetheless, I can't help but be uncomfortable with the whole "We know this terrible thing is going to happen, and doing this simple thing would have prevented it, but we're not going to do that thing" concept.

Definitely get rid of the profiles. Genre and main characters should appear in FF dot net's filter data instead; just go to the "Properties" tab for this story to add them. The rest of the info is pointless.

Not much to say specifically about the "Masks" chapter, as it's mildly flawed but essentially successful for the same reasons as the first chapter. I like the idea of Kyon getting "swapped" masks in order to make up with Nagato, though.
3/23/2013 c2 18flairina
Daww. I really would have loved to see this continue; it's hard to find any good fics that occur during the Endless Eight. There's so much potential there and yet no one ever takes advantage of it.
9/21/2010 c2 16Ongaku no Usagi
Awww...so cute! I loved it, loved the interaction between Nagato and Kyon. The only thing is...I think it happens later in the light novel series, but Nagato does call Kyon a lot. But maybe you're right, and it happens after this arc. Can't remember, lol. Anyway, please continue writing!
9/21/2010 c2 Maxmagnus20019
Oh oh! A very interesting read, this series of events does lend itself to many different things.

Good thing Haruhi doesn't feel the déjà vus like the others, or else she'd remember Kyon's declaration from the first chapter. Though the others might remember it thru déjà vu, although Yuki simply remembers it all.

Quite an interesting turns of events have taken place in this fanfic, keep up the good work!
9/21/2010 c2 JonBob
In both of these Yuki seems OOC, but in a good way. I really like the speculation about what would happen if there were no consequences. It's well-written and engaging, and I'm curious as to how you'll keep this going based on what can "pass over" to the next iteration.
5/12/2010 c1 26funvince
I like this a lot. You had Yuki tell Kyon of what is to come in a way that doesn't actually change anything, which made the whole conversation sad and bittersweet. The part where Yuki asked Kyon to say he loved her was surprising but the fanboy in me enjoyed it. Very good job.
5/5/2010 c1 6Novafiction
This was great. I felt like i was reading the light novels. :) you made my evening.
5/2/2010 c1 25Ero-Chikachu
I am french (it is easy to notice, isn't it ? ^^"), and I found it very pleseant to read ^^ I didn't have any problems to translate !
Kyon/Yuki is interesting, i love this paring !
Your writing is ... hm ... *going read her 2st grade english book* .. ah ! g-o-o-d !
Sorry again for my bad english !


PS : I would like translate this one-shot in french, for fans who are bad for languages.
Can I ask you the permission ?
4/18/2010 c1 Freeman
This was fun to read.

I personaly like Yuki.
4/18/2010 c1 kotleta
Yay!It was nice. But I hope you'll finish this time loop soon ^_^

Keep on going, world needs more Kyon/Yuki love!

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service