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for Rise of the Dark Angel

1/26/2017 c25 1Lord Barinthus
Harry's part of the 2nd Quibbler article needs a LOTTTTT of work, for two reasons:

1. His answers are a mishmash jumble that sounds like a ten-year-old gave the interview, and

2. The back-and-forth rapport would have been impossible if, as Xeno claimed, Harry was simply responding to an Owled list of questions.
1/26/2017 c24 Lord Barinthus
When Harry first heard the Will with Ragnok, did he not tell him to recover all the money embezzled from him? Apparently that hasn't happened?

And I thought if you were emancipated you became your own legal guardian? Why would he be emancipated AND Moony be appointed guardian? And while we're on that topic: the werewolf legislation has been mentioned multiple times in this fic, so there's no way Moony could be appointed as ANYONE'S guardian, much less the BWLived's.
1/26/2017 c23 Lord Barinthus
If so-and-so wasn't already going to die eventually, I'd point out how needlessly dramatic that scene was, lol. A dagger? Really? A wandless Petrificus and a follow up Obliviate, and the situation goes away. And acid to get rid of the body, when Hedwig could have just flashed the body into a volcano or ocean or something? (Or, more fun, immolation by Phoenix fire.)
1/25/2017 c17 Lord Barinthus
A couple thoughts:

1. The familiars have been a largely pointless addition, up to this point. We know they're 2 dogs/2 cats (rather boring, in the scheme of things), they're Japanese, and have some hinted at powers. But why did they choose the kids? Oh, I'm sure we'll learn more eventually, but they seem a rather pointless addition.

2. Some authors enable the portraits to report to Dumbles, some never mention it. As the Gryff Common Room portraits report to Minnie, it follows that any and all can report to Dumbles. And yet the kids have been rather cavalier about their true allegiances while walking around the school talking amongst themselves...

3. It's the Ravenclaw EAGLES. Stop calling them Ravens.
1/25/2017 c12 Lord Barinthus
So you're saying we have to go read several chapters in a separate fic, on a separate profile, for future chaps in THIS fic to make sense?

...that's got to be the stupidest way of writing a story I've ever come across.
1/24/2017 c9 Lord Barinthus
Many authors give characters verbal diarrhea and the scenes are awfullll, but even when you have a character go off into a 20-paragraph spiel, it's still interesting. So kudos on that! Lol

I feel like they're making a logic jump in regards to Pettigrew that isn't necessarily true. They're assuming that if Voldy knew to approach Peter that Dumbles must have intentionally leaked who the new Secret Keeper was. But they just gloss over the more likely fact that the coward simply wanted to be on the winning side in the horrible war, and approached Voldy or a mediary himself. I'm not saying Dumbles DIDN'T leak the info, but they haven't even considered the more likely alternative.
1/24/2017 c5 Lord Barinthus
I'm rather skeptical that his friends would adapt to sadistic torture so quickly. However, as with a couple other things in the fic, if we just accept the unbelievable and move on, it's an interesting fic, lol.
1/24/2017 c1 Lord Barinthus
The incorrect use or lack of commas (especially in the dialogue) is a bit hard to deal with, but I'm very intrigued by the premise and first chapter. :)
1/23/2017 c27 2EndlessHax
wow. just wow,that was one of the best fanfic i have ever read, the plot was absolutely awesome and the story worked out well as well, considering that i was laughing the whole way through when i usually never show even one emotion reading others. overall, this was an amazing fanfic and deserves praise for being able to fit in the yaoi-ness without toning down the plot or making it unbelievable (like some others i have read). its kinda sad that it has ended though, i was reading this till three in the morning on a school day its that good X3
1/23/2017 c27 2spinnerofdark
Worth waiting for.
1/23/2017 c27 Guest
This. Story was AMAZING. I LOVED IT ALL
1/20/2017 c27 1setokayba2n
It was a good story, I have to say it.

Good work.
1/20/2017 c27 Subaku no Yuki
This makes me sad. The story has ended and it's over with... I loved it and can't wait for the second ending. Thank you for one of the best stories I've ever read!
1/20/2017 c27 Guest
wow gran historia, me tarde en leer por k lo tenia k traducir pero me encanto, espero que pronto escriba mas historias como esta.
1/19/2017 c27 7SpiritHolly
I truly enjoyed this story. I started reading from the beginning and I kept up with the updates, but when I realized this was an epilogue I went back and reread the whole story again. Comendable work and I can't wait to read more from you.
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