7/9/2013 c1 313stars
Interesting story, but it is hard to read. In order to make the story easier to read I suggest you find a beta reader that is really good at spelling. Based on what words were spelled wrong and which tenses were used wrong I'm going to guess that English is not your first language... Anyways, I like this story.
Interesting story, but it is hard to read. In order to make the story easier to read I suggest you find a beta reader that is really good at spelling. Based on what words were spelled wrong and which tenses were used wrong I'm going to guess that English is not your first language... Anyways, I like this story.
1/26/2013 c1 bromkin
erm id be happy to beta this just because i couldn't get through the first chapter, but it looks very intresting
erm id be happy to beta this just because i couldn't get through the first chapter, but it looks very intresting
4/21/2012 c1 phoebuscat
This is a joke, right? If you tried to make fun of all the bad stories on this site, you succeeded... But you should put that into your description. If this was not supposed to be a funny spoof... Let's say it rates in the top five of shittiest stories ever! Please, if you can't spell, give up writing or find someone who does it for you!
This is a joke, right? If you tried to make fun of all the bad stories on this site, you succeeded... But you should put that into your description. If this was not supposed to be a funny spoof... Let's say it rates in the top five of shittiest stories ever! Please, if you can't spell, give up writing or find someone who does it for you!
9/6/2010 c1 Watcher of the Moon
Sweetheart, I think this has potential, but you really need to have it edited before you post anymore. Use spell-check, or try to get a Beta.
Sweetheart, I think this has potential, but you really need to have it edited before you post anymore. Use spell-check, or try to get a Beta.
7/15/2010 c1 BigD2k
This seemed to be a good idea. But the grammer and speeling makes it hard to understand after the start
This seemed to be a good idea. But the grammer and speeling makes it hard to understand after the start
7/7/2010 c1 1sarah-rose76646
the spelling is terrible, the words too messed up to understand and aside from the plot (which, while not unique, was still commendable) everything was just confusing dialects that made no sense what so ever. Ever heard of a spellcheck? USE ONE!
Now, the story is not complete and neither is its purpose revealed. What is the point of lily doing rituals and dumbledore's manipulations if one does not sees how things come to play. Its just a piece of thoughts strung together without any purpose, motive or means, what so ever. Enjoy!
the spelling is terrible, the words too messed up to understand and aside from the plot (which, while not unique, was still commendable) everything was just confusing dialects that made no sense what so ever. Ever heard of a spellcheck? USE ONE!
Now, the story is not complete and neither is its purpose revealed. What is the point of lily doing rituals and dumbledore's manipulations if one does not sees how things come to play. Its just a piece of thoughts strung together without any purpose, motive or means, what so ever. Enjoy!
6/21/2010 c1 13Shall-Iin
This started out interesting, but as I read I got the feeling that you deliberately went out of your way to make it hard to read. The 2nd part has far too many spelling mistakes on even simple words to be anything but put in on purpose when compared to the first part. Usually I don't care, but it was almost impossible to read the story, it deserves comment. If it was not done on purpose, I strongly recommend getting a beta or even using spell check.
This started out interesting, but as I read I got the feeling that you deliberately went out of your way to make it hard to read. The 2nd part has far too many spelling mistakes on even simple words to be anything but put in on purpose when compared to the first part. Usually I don't care, but it was almost impossible to read the story, it deserves comment. If it was not done on purpose, I strongly recommend getting a beta or even using spell check.
5/11/2010 c1 4L.Maurel
As you said in your profile, it's your spelling. Thought I'm a second-native speaker and do a lot of mistakes myselfe, I find it quite hard to read. If you have access to MS Office (preferably Word) please use the spellchecking tool. It should proviede you with correct spelling and grammar, thought you wouln't neet that.
As you said in your profile, it's your spelling. Thought I'm a second-native speaker and do a lot of mistakes myselfe, I find it quite hard to read. If you have access to MS Office (preferably Word) please use the spellchecking tool. It should proviede you with correct spelling and grammar, thought you wouln't neet that.
5/4/2010 c1 Reader
Interesting story.
As the others said, get a good beta for spelling. If you want a beta who's prepared to put in the work to make your story read as well as it could, you should mention that they need to be able to work with phonetic spelling. The third section appeared to be at least partially phonetically spelt.
Interesting story.
As the others said, get a good beta for spelling. If you want a beta who's prepared to put in the work to make your story read as well as it could, you should mention that they need to be able to work with phonetic spelling. The third section appeared to be at least partially phonetically spelt.
4/29/2010 c1 Lady Melime Alasse
This seems like an interesting beginning. It's not that different from what you had up before, though. I guess we'll see where you go with this before judging.
One thing, though; you seriously need to work on your spelling. I suggest you find a beta, or a good spellchecker. Please don't take offense, I'm not trying to be mean, but the spelling is terrible. Especially in the third section.
Other than that, no criticisms. Keep going.
This seems like an interesting beginning. It's not that different from what you had up before, though. I guess we'll see where you go with this before judging.
One thing, though; you seriously need to work on your spelling. I suggest you find a beta, or a good spellchecker. Please don't take offense, I'm not trying to be mean, but the spelling is terrible. Especially in the third section.
Other than that, no criticisms. Keep going.
4/28/2010 c1 1physicssquid
You really do need spelling lessons. The spelling in this story is so bad that I couldn't understand any of it. Plus you could do with a better introduction.
You really do need spelling lessons. The spelling in this story is so bad that I couldn't understand any of it. Plus you could do with a better introduction.