for Worse Than Percy9/3/2015 c1 rachelroxxxx
very descriptive
very descriptive
5/5/2014 c1 Guest
M-A-R-Y-S-U-E! besides, its like physically impossible for someone to have worse luck than Percy.
M-A-R-Y-S-U-E! besides, its like physically impossible for someone to have worse luck than Percy.
2/21/2014 c2 Guest
The other commenters are so mean. They like hate you. You are a very special author and hose other flames should baxk off !
The other commenters are so mean. They like hate you. You are a very special author and hose other flames should baxk off !
11/20/2011 c2 
151Collie Parkillo
*laughs till her chest begins to hurt*
Want to know why I'm laughing?
This story is f*cking, laughably terrible. Alex is the one of the biggest Mary Sues I've ever seen. Problems larger than Percy's? Yeah, right. She acts as though she's good at everything, and the scary part is that she IS. That, my friend, is the very definition of Mary Sue.
Since I don't think you know what most of the other reviewers and I say about Mary Sue, here is a definition:
http:/encyclopediadramatica.ch/Mary_Sue
You ought to read this. All of it. Alex happens to be a Helpful Sue, not the most dangerous kind of Sue but one of the most annoying. Please, either delete or rewrite. This has a little bit of potential, so milk your story of it.
-£arken Rue
151Collie Parkillo*laughs till her chest begins to hurt*
Want to know why I'm laughing?
This story is f*cking, laughably terrible. Alex is the one of the biggest Mary Sues I've ever seen. Problems larger than Percy's? Yeah, right. She acts as though she's good at everything, and the scary part is that she IS. That, my friend, is the very definition of Mary Sue.
Since I don't think you know what most of the other reviewers and I say about Mary Sue, here is a definition:
http:/encyclopediadramatica.ch/Mary_Sue
You ought to read this. All of it. Alex happens to be a Helpful Sue, not the most dangerous kind of Sue but one of the most annoying. Please, either delete or rewrite. This has a little bit of potential, so milk your story of it.
-£arken Rue
9/23/2011 c2 imnotimportant
this is your lucky day. I always read reviews on this kind of story and I think it's not nearly as bad as everybody else thinks. How do you think those big ass writers got so good? They practiced. You need to keep on going and eventually it will get bette and you will write a good story and get awsome reviews. These peole that are flaming you are doing something good for you.do what the say and you story will get better. Keep writing. PS if you want to make yourself feel better go read Cybertronian's earth princess or my immortal. Don't actually read my immortal. The reviews are funnies. Good luck
this is your lucky day. I always read reviews on this kind of story and I think it's not nearly as bad as everybody else thinks. How do you think those big ass writers got so good? They practiced. You need to keep on going and eventually it will get bette and you will write a good story and get awsome reviews. These peole that are flaming you are doing something good for you.do what the say and you story will get better. Keep writing. PS if you want to make yourself feel better go read Cybertronian's earth princess or my immortal. Don't actually read my immortal. The reviews are funnies. Good luck
3/13/2011 c2 9SaranWrappedDaughter
Well, it could be worse. But you've got a pretty blatant Mary Sue here. I suggest you revise the character, take a Mary Sue test, and reqrite this.
9SaranWrappedDaughterWell, it could be worse. But you've got a pretty blatant Mary Sue here. I suggest you revise the character, take a Mary Sue test, and reqrite this.
11/27/2010 c1 12baobabs
This story is many things. A whole thesaurus, perhaps, concentrating on the word BAD.
And you know what, sweetie? I'm one of the nicer reviewers. Flames hurt, but they make you write better.
12baobabsThis story is many things. A whole thesaurus, perhaps, concentrating on the word BAD.
And you know what, sweetie? I'm one of the nicer reviewers. Flames hurt, but they make you write better.
10/17/2010 c1 This-is-what-I-think
Sweetie, I know it bites to be flamed. Believe me, I've gone through some pretty nasty flaming in the past, but please trust me when I say it will make you a better writer.
If you want to get good reviews from people who know good writing and aren't just trying to be kind, you need to work on your Mary Sue problem PRONTO. I also recommend getting someone to proof-read your stories for you.
Please don't be too upset with the criticism. It's nothing personal, we're just trying to help.
And remember to keep writing. It's the only way to get better :)
Sweetie, I know it bites to be flamed. Believe me, I've gone through some pretty nasty flaming in the past, but please trust me when I say it will make you a better writer.
If you want to get good reviews from people who know good writing and aren't just trying to be kind, you need to work on your Mary Sue problem PRONTO. I also recommend getting someone to proof-read your stories for you.
Please don't be too upset with the criticism. It's nothing personal, we're just trying to help.
And remember to keep writing. It's the only way to get better :)
9/4/2010 c1 m y e h
Sue, cliche AND stupid plot-line. Grammar? Gone out the window. Even your summary has grammar errors. According to my charts, spelling mistakes are through the roof. Your punctuation is nil. Your OC is SERIOUSLY Sue. Why? She has perfect looks, she has a hard life(which in fact she doesn't), great fighting skills while she has no fighting skills whatsoever, a daughter of Hades(you make me sick, disgracing such a god). Percy Jackson. Yeah, have you even compared him to your Sue? Oh, and if you don't want flames, you should write better. Excuse me, I have to go barf, then check my eyes, get an X-ray and check wether any brain cells died. You're costing me a fortune.
Sue, cliche AND stupid plot-line. Grammar? Gone out the window. Even your summary has grammar errors. According to my charts, spelling mistakes are through the roof. Your punctuation is nil. Your OC is SERIOUSLY Sue. Why? She has perfect looks, she has a hard life(which in fact she doesn't), great fighting skills while she has no fighting skills whatsoever, a daughter of Hades(you make me sick, disgracing such a god). Percy Jackson. Yeah, have you even compared him to your Sue? Oh, and if you don't want flames, you should write better. Excuse me, I have to go barf, then check my eyes, get an X-ray and check wether any brain cells died. You're costing me a fortune.
8/27/2010 c2 Flames
Did not like it. Percy's life is harder for goodness sake.
Did not like it. Percy's life is harder for goodness sake.
8/27/2010 c1 Flames
Oh gosh. A disgrace. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry for saying that. Just what I really feel about this. Please listen to the others. Like JesseRedBird or LucianWriter77.
I'm not flaming. So stop thinking that I'm "flaming ur presus presus fic dat other lyk." Please. I don't have time for this. And THE AUTHOR is probably you. Oh, most likely. We are not ******* thank you very much.
I don't swear like some people. Yes, cheers. And CCs help. Flames, not really, but sometimes if the author just doesn't listen. I've seen too much of those.
Delete please. Or get a beta. Storm-Brain, Kal, Theia 47 are recommendations though I'm not sure if they want to beta yours.
I'm sorry if I sounded mean. Have a nice day.
~Flames
Oh gosh. A disgrace. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry for saying that. Just what I really feel about this. Please listen to the others. Like JesseRedBird or LucianWriter77.
I'm not flaming. So stop thinking that I'm "flaming ur presus presus fic dat other lyk." Please. I don't have time for this. And THE AUTHOR is probably you. Oh, most likely. We are not ******* thank you very much.
I don't swear like some people. Yes, cheers. And CCs help. Flames, not really, but sometimes if the author just doesn't listen. I've seen too much of those.
Delete please. Or get a beta. Storm-Brain, Kal, Theia 47 are recommendations though I'm not sure if they want to beta yours.
I'm sorry if I sounded mean. Have a nice day.
~Flames
8/11/2010 c1 Lu
listen to every1. freaking crappy. Don't love ya! delete this so u dont get more embarassed by this thing u call a story.
listen to every1. freaking crappy. Don't love ya! delete this so u dont get more embarassed by this thing u call a story.
8/11/2010 c1 Lulu
I still think Percy's life was worse. Way worse. He had the Prophecy and some gods want to kill him. So Yeah.
I still think Percy's life was worse. Way worse. He had the Prophecy and some gods want to kill him. So Yeah.
8/9/2010 c2 debra
you are a really good writer
you are a really good writer