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for The Last Spartan

5/9/2010 c2 21baynard
Ah one of my favorite crossover types for the halo/masseffect universe. I like what i've seen so far, you've done an excellent job in writing this piece. I take it John will be the first human spectre? Haha though I suppose when you weigh half a ton biotic throw and lift won't do much to you. With cortana onboard, chief would be a master of tech lol. I can't wait to see more, keep up the good work.
5/9/2010 c2 3MadnessLover
Great story. It is well written, and I would like to see where you go with it.
5/9/2010 c2 46Freedom Guard
Greetings, this new fic has gotten my interest.

I have to admit that I have read already a number of Mass Effect and Halo crossovers here and this shows a good deal of promise. Time-line differences aside, I like the whole story as a whole. Given time, this is going to be a classic, and since I have played Mass Effect before, I can bet this fusion will be a winner.

I am slightly disappointed that Anderson didn't mention the fact to Currick that the Covenant used to call the Master Chief the Demon in the old days, and that should have been done BEFORE the Turians got a good look at the Spartan for themselves since that would have added seriously to the awe and fear factor of the whole thing.

I was grinning about this passage in the story.

'Anderson smirked at that last bit, remembering one old tale about how the reason the Chief was seemingly untouchable was because he gave Lady Luck such a good shagging that she kept blessing him with good fortune in the hopes that he'd call her back.'

That was good, though I can bet Cortana would have disagreed if she heard that.

I would like to make a suggestion though, if you make a new chapter, have some of the Alliance Marines talk about their meeting with the Spartan to others. One would say that when he or she got to speak to the Spartan a little, even though it was brief, he or she would say.

"I felt I was talking to God himself."

Anyway, good luck and I hope that you will be able to make a truly worthy story with this one. You are on the right road to making this a classic so do your best.
5/8/2010 c2 1Rc1212
Different than other Halo/ME crossovers, very much awesome! Can't wait to see where you go from here! What about spirt of fire? Will the Chief keep the suit?
5/8/2010 c2 9Robo Reader 21
This kind of makes it feel like the humans both upgraded and downgraded in terms of tech. And were are the Covenant speices and couldn't they have both Mass Effect FTL AND Slipspace Drives?
5/8/2010 c2 5Havoc-legionnaire
OK, I'm impressed. No real errors with grammar. This is quite original and promising. Having the Halo time line in the 22nd Century actually makes a lot of sense considering the tech comparison. There are some technical facts about the Spartans that was not completely accurate or out of context from cannon such as strength and weight (in-armor vs out-of-armor capabilities), but the story is well written to the point that they seem insignificant. There are some obvious questions that have to be addressed such as tech integration from the two stories and biotics, but I'm sure that you already have it planned out. Keep it up.
5/8/2010 c2 Inverness
The Master Chief as the first human spectre? Haha!

I love what you've done so far, and I'm hoping for the next chapter in a reliable amount of time. =P

I'd also like if you could explain exactly what the Forerunner Cluster is in the next chapter. Is it a part of the larger galaxy or a smaller cluster of stars orbiting the galaxy like a moon or something?
5/8/2010 c2 Meteor Ardbert
( Anyway, long time author, first time poster. )

I'm in the same position, though this is my second account. I've already forgotten the password to my first account. This is what happens when I have two different passwords, and over 10 email addresses, half of which I can't remember.

I'm glad to see this chapter is lengthy. A plus in my book.

( Not the most original idea for a crossover )

True, it's no longer unique, but there are too few that are truly written very well.

( First of all, there will be NO Shepard in this fic. He does not exist. )

And then you just brought my respect for this fiction down by... well, close to zero. This is one of my peeves in fanfiction: authors deem it unnecessary to have a certain character that they made them non-existent or unimportant.

This will be the last chapter I read at this point. I am a Shepard fan as wella s a Master Chief fan, but when one or the other is removed fromt he story because they are unimportant, and replace it witht he other character, I'll have to decline from the story.

Sorry. To me, it just seems that the author is just to lazy to meld the two universe properly, or that the author dislikes one character and decides to replace it with the one they like.

( The Halo trilogy took place in the 2100's )

I hope you have an explanation of how Halo's timeline expanded THAT quickly, considering the history of both games where they didn't have the technology for space travel until much later.

Looking back at the first chapter, I just noticed the date.

I do have one problem with the cryo chamber part...

Cryo doesn't stop aging someone - just slows it down a lot. It doesn't stop the heart from beating or the blood from flowing. If more than a couple years have passed without getting getting what the body needs, the Chief should already be dead, turned into an ice mummy as it were. That's why those in Cryo in Halo were never in it for more than just a few months at a time. According to Halo Incyclopedia, you still have to receive nutrients while in cryo. Similar information about Cryo tubes in various other series and games also suggest that this is the case.

Hope you have an explanation for this. I doubt they had the technology for it, otherwise, they'd have better technology to win the war instead of turning it into a draw.

As far as I know, the war shouldn't be over for Halo. How do we know that ALL of the Covenant was defeated? They could just be licking their wounds before they go for a counter attack. The Covenant is a rather large force. I'd say only a small group out of the whole went to Earth during the Ark's incident. Winning a war like it did in Halo 3 is too unrealistic.

So this could come back to bite everyone in the ass later in the story.

Also given the title, I am assuming your going to ignore Ghost of Onyx, as there were SPARTAN IIs there, a couple SPARTAN IIIs, Halsey, and Mendez trapped in the Dyson Sphere. Or that they made it out and lived well and aged well before passing away. Or you just killed them off because they were unimportant (which I hope isn't the case). The same could be said for the SPARTAN IIs of the Spirit of Fire and its crew.

-

( "What am I looking at here?" he asked.

"I would say a derelict ship of some sort." the operator answered.

"Your grasp of the obvious is astounding." Currick sarcastically replied. )

lol, I had to laugh here.

( You watch too many sci-fi horror vids )

Considering how far they are in the future and the environment they live it, I wonder what they consider Sci-Fi now... I've always wanted to ask those people that.

( Captain Currick's pre-goren temper was legendary on board the Akterran. )

How so? I felt that needed a little more information in the story to get some backstory on the character for people who were interested. A reprimand isn't enough to define it. Anyone can give that tone, so why is he different?

( "According to the Alliance Database, It's listed as a UNSC-Frigate...whose production was ceased roughly a century ago." )

So that means everything in Mass Effect is better. I assume Slipspace travel is more advanced now. Instead of ME's usual FTL travel, they'd use Slipspace Travel since it basically goes around it rather than through it.

And since the Alliance knows a lot about the UNSC and its history, I'm assuming they have all their weapons and technology, like MAC Guns and Super MAC Guns, but upgraded.

( "Team Alpha, standing by."

"Team Beta, standing by."

"Team Gamma, standing by."

"Team Delta, standing by."

"Team Epsilon, standing by."

"Yeah yeah, Team Zeta, standing by. We gonna do this or what?" )

Since when were they named that way. Both Halo and Mass Effect still use these names.

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-Ray, Yankee, Zulu.

Not just Mass Effect and Halo and other series, but real life too.

( But then we discovered Element Zero and realized that it was a better choice. Not as fast as slipspace, but definitely safer." )

How is it better? The UNSC could have received Slipspace data from the Elites making a meld of their two technologies and be mmore useful and safe at the same time. Not all Elites went back to Shanghelios. Some could have stayed on Earth to help rebuild. It makes sense they'd help and give them their technology.

Also, with Smart AIs, there really shouldn't be a danger.

( Though Anderson seemed to have forgotten the one detail about how most Spartan-II's like John are usually around seven feet tall and weigh in at roughly three-hundred pounds. )

How did they get that information? It never left Halsey,a nd SPARTAN's are a very tightly knit group to give out their names. All Data on the Spartans were well kept secrets.

Just curious.

( and at some points, luckier than the average human." )

And I doubt they would say this line. As far as I know, Cortana and Halsey only commented on this and never spread the word around. Everyone else just assumes he is untouchable, luck not part of it.

( When the war ended, both the Covenant and the Insurrectionists were no longer considered threats, the former splintering )

See above...

( "After that, the UNSC shifted focus from fighting for its survival to rebuilding all that was lost in the war. As you can imagine, Spartans aren't cheap to create. So the UNSC leaders thought it wiser to invest all their resources into rebuilding and re-colonizing all of our destroyed worlds instead of in super-soldiers that we no longer needed." )

And the SPARTAN IIIs? Nevermind the SPARTAN Is...

( "He's still alive." )

See above (about Cryo Tubes) also.

( "He IS a lucky one." )

I hope that isn't your explanation of why he stayed alive that long...

I find it almost OOC of Cortana to put so much trust in these people with the Chief. She doesn't know what has happened int he last hundred years, and she shouldn't be so trusting without any information... proof of what they are saying is true. CONCRETE proof that SHE herself can check.

( "Humanity needs a hero." Anderson said resolutely. "Chief's the best we've got. Unless you can think of a better candidate, I say we do it." )

Problem.

John 117 is not the same kind of leader Shepard was. While Shepard uses tactics and diplomacy to get the job done, the Master Chief is a quiet person who only speaks when spoken to, and he is more of a person who would lead his team from afar rather than upfront like Shepard would do, hence the days in his youth with the other SPARTANs. I'd say he's used to leading only SPARTANs but not normal humans, whom Shepard is one of can can relate to them easily.

After playing Halo and reading the books, you'll notice this too.

They have two distinctive leadership types. Normally, Cortana would fill the role, but with Mass Effect's ban on AI, no one is willing to follow Cortana, no matter who she is partnered with, hero be damned. The grudge against AIs is there, and will stay there. Trust takes months, even years.

One thing about the Chief and Shepard that IS the same is the fact that they inspire others with courage and to fight knowing who is there to back them up. The fire that anyone would follow him to hell and back together.

( "Master Chief Petty Officer Sierra-117. Reporting for duty, sir." )

I doubt the Chief would have given that greeting. The Alliance is completely different from the UNSC.
5/8/2010 c2 TenWings
LOVE IT UPDATE SOON!
5/4/2010 c1 Meteor Ardbert
A little too short, but your writing style gives me some hope. I sincerely hope this was a prologue chapter, and that the future chapters would be at least five times longer.

I hope you planned out how to balance Halo's and Mass Effect's technology so one doesn't overpower the other too much. I'll trust you for now to get the job done right.
5/3/2010 c1 1Rc1212
Awesome! Really need more crossover stories like this one!
5/2/2010 c1 37reptilia28
It's a bit brief for my liking, but it has potential. I'll have to wait and see how the Chief and Cortana interact with the Mass Effect characters before I make any judgements though.

Looking forward to seeing what you have next.
Rich
5/2/2010 c1 6Malcho1234
Good prologue. I hope you update soon.
5/2/2010 c1 TenWings
nice proloue
5/2/2010 c1 2Triggs
Good prologue for the story, keep it up.
-Triggs
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