for James and Vicky3/10/2011 c3 
15Serethielle
o.O Hermione not wanting her own child? Wow... Anyhow, a bit confusing as a story, but nice.
~Florence~
15Serethielleo.O Hermione not wanting her own child? Wow... Anyhow, a bit confusing as a story, but nice.
~Florence~
5/31/2010 c4 theonewiththepen
Hey there, time for me to return the favour ;-)
The story is original and it can keep me interested, that's always a good start. The script-style writing is different but I think you can make it work; at times its a bit hectic, though. It's a bit early in the story for me to get a good grip on the characters, so not much to say there.
All in all a good first attempt, keep working on it and I'm sure you'll do fine.
theonewiththepen
Hey there, time for me to return the favour ;-)
The story is original and it can keep me interested, that's always a good start. The script-style writing is different but I think you can make it work; at times its a bit hectic, though. It's a bit early in the story for me to get a good grip on the characters, so not much to say there.
All in all a good first attempt, keep working on it and I'm sure you'll do fine.
theonewiththepen
5/25/2010 c4 52keeperoliver
Hello Miss Potter. I read your story, but it is hard to follow. Is Hermione Married to Ron, and having an affair with Viktor, or is she married to Viktor and having an affair with Ron? Who is Harry married to? In order to progress, we have to know who is with who, once that is settled, we can go further on with the story. Hope to hear from you soon, the Keeper.
52keeperoliverHello Miss Potter. I read your story, but it is hard to follow. Is Hermione Married to Ron, and having an affair with Viktor, or is she married to Viktor and having an affair with Ron? Who is Harry married to? In order to progress, we have to know who is with who, once that is settled, we can go further on with the story. Hope to hear from you soon, the Keeper.
5/21/2010 c1 10MoreRoses
thanks again for reading my story, and yours is interesting so far, but the script writing is, well i never cared for it, but other than that, a little longer, a tad more detail, and it will be fabulous, and i love the idea of this story, XD keep it up, im intrigued..
10MoreRosesthanks again for reading my story, and yours is interesting so far, but the script writing is, well i never cared for it, but other than that, a little longer, a tad more detail, and it will be fabulous, and i love the idea of this story, XD keep it up, im intrigued..
5/20/2010 c4 87KimTomPW
Very interesting idea. This is also a Hermione I've never seen. Not wanting her own child, wow! I'd love to see how Rose reacts!
87KimTomPWVery interesting idea. This is also a Hermione I've never seen. Not wanting her own child, wow! I'd love to see how Rose reacts!
5/20/2010 c4 3Freakin-little
Hey, you asked me to check out your story, so here I am. :)
It's a good start, really. It's kind of spastic at times, jumping from one thing to the next...idk lol. I like it, though. It might help smooth it out if you paid attention to more detail in your story and if you explained things a little bit more.
Overall I think it's a good story so far. Update soon, I'll check it out.
3Freakin-littleHey, you asked me to check out your story, so here I am. :)
It's a good start, really. It's kind of spastic at times, jumping from one thing to the next...idk lol. I like it, though. It might help smooth it out if you paid attention to more detail in your story and if you explained things a little bit more.
Overall I think it's a good story so far. Update soon, I'll check it out.
5/19/2010 c4 Ninja Potter
Its good but why are you writing it like a script? Maybe Vic could be transfered to Hogwarts as a foreign exchange student. Then she meets her mom and she goes home with the wealsey's for a vacation and they start to love her. But then Victor is in England for a Quidditch match and he drops in to pick her up. Hermione gets all defensive and whats to keep her. Do you see where I'm going with this? Anyways, keeping going!
Its good but why are you writing it like a script? Maybe Vic could be transfered to Hogwarts as a foreign exchange student. Then she meets her mom and she goes home with the wealsey's for a vacation and they start to love her. But then Victor is in England for a Quidditch match and he drops in to pick her up. Hermione gets all defensive and whats to keep her. Do you see where I'm going with this? Anyways, keeping going!
5/19/2010 c4 52BlueEyes444
Well, maybe make the chapters longer, and I really don't know how this could work in your story, but maybe have someone kidnapped. That always works. lol But other then that, I'm afraid I don't have much.
Great story. And good luck,
-B4
52BlueEyes444Well, maybe make the chapters longer, and I really don't know how this could work in your story, but maybe have someone kidnapped. That always works. lol But other then that, I'm afraid I don't have much.
Great story. And good luck,
-B4
5/19/2010 c3 BlueEyes444
Why? What was Herminoe thinking? -looks shcoked- I really hope she has a good reason for giving her daughter up.-shakes head- Really good. :D
Why? What was Herminoe thinking? -looks shcoked- I really hope she has a good reason for giving her daughter up.-shakes head- Really good. :D
5/19/2010 c2 BlueEyes444
Herminoe is her mother? I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. Poor Vicky. What's going to happen now? O.O
Herminoe is her mother? I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. Poor Vicky. What's going to happen now? O.O
5/19/2010 c1 BlueEyes444
This seems actually pretty promising. I can't wait to read the next chapters! :D
This seems actually pretty promising. I can't wait to read the next chapters! :D
5/19/2010 c4 SimpleThings
Very cute. I like the different couple too, never seen another story like it. Good job! Also thank you for your review it was really sweet :):)
Very cute. I like the different couple too, never seen another story like it. Good job! Also thank you for your review it was really sweet :):)
5/19/2010 c4 85Rita Arabella Black
For your first story, I think this shows a great deal of promise. I, for one absolutely love Viktor Krum and think idea of a child who finds her way to the Potters is very intriguing. Don't give up writing, work on your basics and dialogue. Keep up the good work. I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
85Rita Arabella BlackFor your first story, I think this shows a great deal of promise. I, for one absolutely love Viktor Krum and think idea of a child who finds her way to the Potters is very intriguing. Don't give up writing, work on your basics and dialogue. Keep up the good work. I am looking forward to reading more of your work.