10/18/2021 c3 Nicole
Great story. Only note I'd say is that toph does not fit the standard buff earth bender look at all. Her style of fighting is designed by a woman and using the opponents strength against them. Her clothes are baggy but in her swim suit she is very small and delicate in appearance.
Great story. Only note I'd say is that toph does not fit the standard buff earth bender look at all. Her style of fighting is designed by a woman and using the opponents strength against them. Her clothes are baggy but in her swim suit she is very small and delicate in appearance.
2/20/2012 c14 j bird
Omg please update!
Omg please update!
11/20/2010 c14 15bk00
This is so great! The chapters amazing, love how you played off Inner Sakura! Had me laughing as Tenten prayed and at the end with Hina: "Now I have to go kill my brother."
This is so great! The chapters amazing, love how you played off Inner Sakura! Had me laughing as Tenten prayed and at the end with Hina: "Now I have to go kill my brother."
11/12/2010 c14 5ScarletCamellia
OOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooooh. So Hina-chan's got some competition...not really. xD Naruto only has eyes for Hinata, huh?
OOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooooh. So Hina-chan's got some competition...not really. xD Naruto only has eyes for Hinata, huh?
9/30/2010 c12 15bk00
oh my gawd! I LOOOOVE your Hina! did I say that already? This made my day, most definitely! This is gonna be so much fun to read! Love how you write this!
On a side note have you read a fic called After Confessions by PeacefulWarrior82?
oh my gawd! I LOOOOVE your Hina! did I say that already? This made my day, most definitely! This is gonna be so much fun to read! Love how you write this!
On a side note have you read a fic called After Confessions by PeacefulWarrior82?
9/19/2010 c12 5ScarletCamellia
YAY! Sasuke better go fix that shit he did soon!
This is gonna be epic! Tenten gonna kick Azula's ass?
YAY! Sasuke better go fix that shit he did soon!
This is gonna be epic! Tenten gonna kick Azula's ass?
9/6/2010 c1 CyberPony
okay, so i just finished reading your naruto story Aishiteru and i`m about to start this one, i`ve been on FF.net for a long time and i gotta say you impressed me with your first fic back there. so i wanted to see more of your work. so now i`ll try to review your work as best as i can.
the good point first, i really liked how you kept them in-character, it`s something most starters are unable to do. i was also pretty happy to see you managed to create a well rounded OC where most people fall into marie sue-ness. (On a personal note i REALLY liked the way you made Hinata kick ass. the girl doesn`t get enough credit in this fandom!) i was also pleased to see you grasped the concept of paragraphs without giving us the dreaded Wall of text no jutsu.
On the other side though your writing is pretty good,far from the worse first fic i`ve ever seen.(at least you make proper sentence _' not like some i`ve seen.) but i still needs work. i got the feeling if you added just a little bit of description to the actions of your character it would be really good.
The bone i really have to pick here is with the size of your chapters. You should really consider making them longer, i think this would make it easier for the reader to stay interested, as even if the wait between chapters is longer you get more at the same time. I think that a good size for a chapter is something like the last chapter of Aishiteru, it was longer but still it kept me interested in the story (so i would say about 2000 word+).
Well that`s really all i gotta say about your writing style, i`ll add you to my Author alert and fav. if you want to reply to this review, just PM me and it`ll be my pleasure to answer you.
hope to hear from ya soon!
NFF
okay, so i just finished reading your naruto story Aishiteru and i`m about to start this one, i`ve been on FF.net for a long time and i gotta say you impressed me with your first fic back there. so i wanted to see more of your work. so now i`ll try to review your work as best as i can.
the good point first, i really liked how you kept them in-character, it`s something most starters are unable to do. i was also pretty happy to see you managed to create a well rounded OC where most people fall into marie sue-ness. (On a personal note i REALLY liked the way you made Hinata kick ass. the girl doesn`t get enough credit in this fandom!) i was also pleased to see you grasped the concept of paragraphs without giving us the dreaded Wall of text no jutsu.
On the other side though your writing is pretty good,far from the worse first fic i`ve ever seen.(at least you make proper sentence _' not like some i`ve seen.) but i still needs work. i got the feeling if you added just a little bit of description to the actions of your character it would be really good.
The bone i really have to pick here is with the size of your chapters. You should really consider making them longer, i think this would make it easier for the reader to stay interested, as even if the wait between chapters is longer you get more at the same time. I think that a good size for a chapter is something like the last chapter of Aishiteru, it was longer but still it kept me interested in the story (so i would say about 2000 word+).
Well that`s really all i gotta say about your writing style, i`ll add you to my Author alert and fav. if you want to reply to this review, just PM me and it`ll be my pleasure to answer you.
hope to hear from ya soon!
NFF