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3/16/2012 c1 10MyOxfordComma
I couldn't read it because it's just one big paragraph. Please put in some paragraphs so I can ready it :)

Thanks!
1/4/2012 c1 1fannut
Um. . .ya your story had so many gramer errors I couldn't under stand it. You also kept going back and forth between first and third person and the incorrect formatting didn't help any. So maby you should work on those things
12/2/2010 c1 13Irual
Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know that you have uploaded this as one entire paragraph which makes it kind of hard to read.

Speech is usually separated into separate paragraphs and also spell checker is you friend. Accents are never nessisary but corect foratting and spelling make people eager to read your stories.

I would LOVE to read a Christmas ROMY but it is generally alot more interesting if you tell the plot or scene from the point of view of the characters and not just as a general discription.

for example, instead of typing 'she opened the door and fell on the ice outside' type it like this...

Rogue was feeling pretty irritated, it was a week until Christmas and between Kitty, Storm and Jean the entire mansion was stuffed to the rafters with every imaginable 'holiday' decoration; seasonal treat and mood enhancing idea that Bayville could bost. and to top it off, Remy had been his usual flirtatious self all day and if she didn't get some space all this Christmas cheer was going to push her over the edge! Stomping across the foyer and opening the door she ignored the fact that a light snowfall was still swirling around the mansion and started down the stairs.

before she had taken more than a step off the front stoop though, her boots slipped on the ice and she tumbled head over heels down the front steps seeing stars as her head hit the walkway beside the drive.

this not only introduces different characters you can use to find her after the fall, but it sets up their interactions and the characters reactions while involving the readers.

I realise that you didn't write about this particular thing, that was just an example...and I don't want to discourage you and I am really hoping to read more of this...but you do really need to work on your formatting and spelling .

HUGS I hope to read some more from you thanks for posting this Irual

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