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6/24/2016 c16 10inuyashamunkey
cute. if u talking lateness in this chaoter, yo 5 years late man.
6/22/2011 c3 11Torn Apart Paper Dinosaur
Have I told you how much I love this story so far?

Well I do.

Keep writing.

:)
6/22/2011 c2 Torn Apart Paper Dinosaur
I really enjoy your style of writing, as well as this chapter. Keep writing.

:)
5/15/2011 c16 LazyLamia
It was fun to read the whole story in one go to remind myself the plot – Both Ed and Roy needed their friends – without them they were stuck on their respective side if barricade.

Now they reached some level of understanding and started to move on from this point. Roy is aware how fragile the mind of Ed is – I wonder what Ed thinks about this whole thing.
3/30/2011 c10 1Syeroix
Uggh. I like this story, really I do. But the writing style you're using. It hurrtss. It's curt, telling not showing, and honestly reminds me of what I found find in textbooks.

I actually have to concentrate and slow down to get enjoyment out of reading this when it should be a breeze.

You should expand more on your paragraphs, show me what and why the characters do things rather than telling.

Not just Ed was angry, but he bit his quivering lip as his eyebrows furrowed and his fists clenched or something.

Have more descriptions, use the words to play out scenes not just reading the script.

It seems you are writing this out fast, hurried with how curt it is.

And your psychiatrist lady. Every time she appears it seems she drags along her description. That shouldn't be her only identifier, a huge paragraph. Foreshadow better. The blonde lady, the woman, use pronouns instead of her tag-a-long paragraph.

It's a good idea you have running and miles ahead of the worst I've seen, but still a bit of a pain to read. I'm not finished catching up otherwise I would probably have more to say but what you have here is good. You seem to capture the characters fine, but I can't tell since none of them seem characterized. Just pictures or shadows of who they are.

Continue on, write what you will, think about my advice. Just don't stop writing.

I'll be watching for updates. Will also comment on the latest chapter.
1/24/2011 c15 36March Rosenqueen
This chapter is so interesting. Finally you made both Ling and Roy meet with each other I can't wait to see what will happen next, I mean it's really obvious that Ling still has feeling toward Edward though he knows that Ed like Roy. Well I think it would be so interesting if Ling tries to win Ed all over again^^ Hope you'll update it again soon^^
11/7/2010 c14 1Chen-chan
Still no kiss :( Oh well. I love your writing style so its all good. Now as for your recurring Ed falling asleep at the end of a chapter...well its a good place/way to end. As always can't wait for an update.
11/7/2010 c14 LazyLamia
I remember this story from LJ, but I ‘ve found it here only recently – I’m glad that it’s continued. The situation is not easy for Ed and Roy – Roy is aware of his feelings and he will act if he receives any sign of attraction from Ed’s side. Ed – this is more complicated situation – he declares (to himself) that he came back for Roy, but in the same time he constantly push him away, insults him and do everything to discourage him. This behaviour causes concern for all his family and friends, but apparently this is not enough for him to stop tossing around . He really needs Roy but only Ling is aware about Ed’s feelings. Adding the attempt to kill and people from his past – the nearest future won’t be easy for them.
11/3/2010 c13 Chen-chan
Oh my god 13 chapters and still not even a kiss. I could just about kill for one of those at this point. Then again I suppose you're taking the romantic factor at a realistic pace but it's still driving me nuts. Plot wise I'm intrigued over your various twists and turns. I can't wait for another update. Thanks for writing this.
10/9/2010 c12 36March Rosenqueen
Is that mean that somehow Roy is also having a feeling too towards Ed?

I was wondering when exactly Ed will spill out his feeling toward Roy...

I'm so curious about that and why does that woman wants Ed to be her slave?

What is her main reason for that?

Please update it soon

I'm waiting for the next chapter^^
9/24/2010 c11 March Rosenqueen
I like it

It's getting better and better each chapter^^

And I like how you write a slight of EdxLing too^^

I really wonder if Ed would have a courage to tell his feeling toward Roy soon...

Anyway please update it soon, I'm waiting for it^^
8/24/2010 c8 Systemxyz
This is really well written and interesting. The only issue I have with it is that when the points of view switch, they are done so drastically and without any kind of divider. I have gotten confused about who was thinking what more than once.

But other than that, I'm looking forward to seeing how things develop, especially now that Izumi's here. We just need Gen. Armstrong and Ed's really in trouble!

I really like Ed and Roy's interactions, too. They feel very in character. Thanks for sharing this!
8/23/2010 c1 Systemxyz
Just read the prologue - this looks really awesome. I'm looking forward to reading the rest! Thank you for sharing.
6/28/2010 c3 11AUehara
Truly? I was liking this on ones POV ó.ò hm, but OK. Don't know, I just find it odd to have too many POV's in one fic... or chapter.

Oh well! Didn't see Ling and Ed coming together. That should be a funny thing to see xD Hm, anyway, I still want to read the end of this =D

See you by the next chapter!

Atsuko Uehara
6/19/2010 c2 AUehara
wanting to work harder on this fic? Wow, I can say that I to respect you a lot for that. I wish to read what comes from his hardworking ^^

By the way, until now it's pretty great! I sure want to read further of this fic. Just want you not to leave this fic unfinished! So please, write a lot and very well! ^^

Thanks for the great reading you provided

Atsuko Uehara
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