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for The Criminal Contraptions of Nautilus

12/3/2010 c1 3linziefey
Hi there!

First up, I'd like to say that Ireally like your writing style and am looking forward to reading the rest of this story. Especialy now when I know Natilus isn't as pale as I first thought. And now, let's critisize the content a bit a bit.

First off I'd like to say that you're making a big diffrence between the Flapjack allthe fans know and love and this "Lord" Flapjack who you have turned him in to that is obviously a liar. We all know that's not Flappy's style.

And as farr as I love Nautilus' style and all that I can't help but feel that he's a little GarryStu-ish. And the one thing I hate ALMOST as much as a MarrySue is a GarryStu. But then again, I really shouldn't be one to talk what with my Captain Sharkalsky being a TEENCY bit of a MarrySue herself.

Anyway, I repeat: Great first chapter! And I'm looking forward to reading the rest ^^

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