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for Gated Ravenswood

7/11/2013 c4 23Paisley Mae
Three years later and you still haven't improved. :( How old are you now anyway? Normally, writers improve with age. Not you, I guess.
6/18/2013 c4 Kristi
Okay I just got who is telling the story. Lucy is older the Simon...that's what confused me, sorry.
6/18/2013 c1 Kristi
I do like this story. I think that it is really good. Please don't listen to the other reviews. Keep writing! I am confused on on point. At the beginning you say that you don't own anyone. Who is telling the story? Simon was driving (My older brother pulled up to a gate.) Ruthie and the twins were coming with Eric and Annie.

For the person who said that grasses aren't manicured. YES THEY ARE! Grass can be manicured. It just means that the lawns are perfect. So you're the idiot.
6/14/2013 c4 A Reader
Oh my god, it has been three years since you started writing this and you have not made an ounce of improvement. What, have you been too busy for grammar lessons in the past eleven hundred days?! Seriously, I improved so much in grammar and stuff between any three given years over my schooling.
6/22/2011 c3 21Marauderish Mischief Maker
It's basic grammar that you should have learned in elementary school! SLEARN IT OR GET OFF THE SITE!
6/21/2011 c1 16rose lily potter
I just one thing to say, and that is the story seems good and just get a beta to look over your rough draft. And please don't listen to the other reviews, and don't give up on your stories. Because of those that are pouring salt on your stories need to rethink and take a look at their own stories.
6/21/2011 c3 920355
Oh my god, your grammar and punctuation still sucks! No. Further. Comment.

Except, maybe, stop writing.
12/30/2010 c2 wildfirefanatic08
Sigh.

You STILL SUCK AT WRITING. And because you haven't improved a single bit, I doubt that you now know what a profession is. LOOK IT UP.

And while you're at it, think carefullly about about never choosing writing as your profession, cause you wont sell anything.

You really need to take a look at other stories from other people here on the site who actually know HOW to write, for instance, WhizofCheese. Her stories are fantastic, wheres yours are just complete utter crap.

My words of advice to you?-

TAKE EVERYONE'S ADVICE which we've all given you numerous times and FOLLOW IT. We're not telling you this to be mean, we'e being bluntly honst.

Thank you.
12/30/2010 c2 920355
Close to half a year later, and you're in *no* way better now than you were back in the summer. Your writing is still awful, you lack description and most importantly: A PLOT!

Write out the words, don't abbreviate them! This is fanfiction, you aren't writing text message or instant messaging someone! I'm not sure if you realize, once you post your crap on a public site like this; it's out there for the world to see. The world, two billion people who can read will be seeing your crapfics! Quite a bit of the two billion aren't as good with English, like you, and unlike me and WhizofCheese and others, so your atrocious writing and style is making them think: "o k so i can rit lik dat." when they can't!

Spell out the number 1. One, not 1. It's a cardinal number and it should always be spelt.

Proper nouns, such as people's names, should always be capitalized!

Write out "I don't know" not "idinno". "Sortof" is "sort of".

Bedding stores are called mattress stores. Where do you live?

The lack of cars on the road *would* be interesting if you didn't have all the errors and your story wasn't putting me to sleep.

Don't tell us, show us! If it's something that'd occured before, elaborate on it.
12/30/2010 c2 23Paisley Mae
Ugh, I remember you. I see you haven't improved whatsoever.

Seriously, is there any reason whatsoever you cannot use proper English in your stories? This isn't a text message, it's not an IM; this is Fanfiction.net, and it's blatantly stated in the rules:

#1 Spell check all story and poetry. There is no excuse for not performing this duty. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as Google.com to find one.

#2 Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.

You accepted these terms when you uploaded your story; thus, it is expected that you follow them!

* Proper names like Matt and Ruthie should be capitalized.

* "idinno" is not a word. Type the full words out, "I don't know" or at least, "I dunno."

* W/ is not a word, type the full word, "with."

Please follow the rules, or do not post at all.
7/15/2010 c1 i am pie 32
Dude, this is trash. Delete it now and quit writing FOREVER. (got2bizee - take a look at their other writings, they're just as bad and pointless)

Advice to the author: QUIT UPLOADING until you've learned how to write.
7/12/2010 c1 3got2bizee
Ok, I've read the story. Harsh words being thrown around in there. If this is spam get it out of there, but I doubt it is. If its someone genuinely posting a story, I don't get all this useless criticism. I say lets give this person something she or he can work with. What's wrong with the story? Well, I say it needs description in some parts. A little more plot. Its confusing because she/he does not give us enough details of surrounding to go on. Positive: When she/he describes, I can follow. I'm thinking that it makes sense to you what you wrote because you see it clearly in you head, but to us, we have to really dig in there to get it. If you apply a clearer setting, beginnings of a plot and description, this story can go somewhere. No flame. I hope you continue if you are serious. :D
7/12/2010 c1 Forbidden Fire
Um yeah, what the hell was the point of this? Take this crap and all other crap you've written off the site.
7/12/2010 c1 writer09
GRASSES AREN'T MANICURED U FREAKIN IDIOT!

Stop writing and wasting everyone's time-

At least take a writing class because you SUCK.

Dont EVER choose writing as a profession IF U EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS -

But seeing as your writing SUCKS, I doubt you do.
7/12/2010 c1 wildfirefanatic08
Okay seriously GET THIS THROUGH YOUR BRAIN-

U SUCK! DONT WRITE BECAUSE YOU CANT!
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