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10/25/2010 c9 7Peltra
who's shot? the Marie or Conan?
10/25/2010 c9 2Conan's best deduction
1. YAY u r back! I missed you!

2. Enter Hakuba. Did not see that one coming.

3. Heiji is right. Only kudo would get kidnapped as a bargaining chip.

4. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
9/26/2010 c8 Kherohi
Hi! Well, I finally review. Anyways, this story is intriguing. I wonder who the girl is? I don't think I could do any better... I haven't even written any fanfiction, so... yeah. But I hope to! ...someday...

In any case, I find it interesting that it's in present tense, the story is. I rarely see present tense, so it's kinda... interesting. Well, I don't think I have much else to say, so good luck with the next chapter!

-Kherohi
9/17/2010 c8 74LostInTheDreams
The new details were fine. Much better :)

I knew it was Hattori right away with the hat thing, but that's cool. I liked knowing. The main girl is enough of mystery and it sounds like your going to tell either what happened to them or who she is in the next chapter.

When I first read it, I thought Conan had drugged Chiba on purpose. Did he? Then I thought that maybe she had to for other reasons.

Either way, the story is getting interesting!

Keep going ^_^
9/17/2010 c8 Immortalis Cruor Elf
update soon!
9/17/2010 c8 Amy-sama90
please update soon
9/16/2010 c8 2Conan's best deduction
OMG! A Cliffie. You just love torturing your humble readers don't you.:( Keep up the story!
9/9/2010 c7 Conan's best deduction
It's starting to get good^-^! I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep it up!
9/9/2010 c7 2BlackPANDA xD
whoa pretty awesome. The mystery girl Ai is kind of cool. I can totally imagine her in one of the anime episodes hehe. And, whoa, not a Mary Sue! Hurrah! This is your first story? :D You're doing real good so far! No typos I can spot, and the grammar is sound. No clunky/awkward sentencing like other newbie stories I've read. My one constructive crit is that I think it might've needed a bit more details into the chapters, show a bit more emotion and stuff. :)

Lookin' forward to the nxt chappie! :D
9/9/2010 c7 74LostInTheDreams
It's not a bad story. ^_^

I'm still really confused about the girl's presence. I can't tell if shes a new

character and the random parts with the MK characters also but I'm sure your going

to explain that.

When you're making it long, try and put in some details as well. All I really know

about the mystery girl is that she had light brown hair and looks a little like Ran.

(Of course, if you're trying to keep her appearance as secret, go ahead :) )

I'm sorry it took so long for me to read it! I really have been busy recently, and

with a new job, will be even more busy. Anyway, it was good. Detail!

I'll keep reviewing for you ;)
9/1/2010 c6 2mae.raine
hey mysteryfan! It sucks that you're getting this little reviews. I think it's mostly because of your summary. Hmmm... you need a more suspenseful summary. A bad-ass summary that sucks the helpless reader into clicking that damn title! No offense, but yours is too lacklustre and vague. Instead of:

A chance encounter leads everyone into danger; a past case causes unforseen consequences in the present.

You could do:

It is an ordinary day for Edogawa Conan, until a hit-and-run accident nearly costs his life. Was it really an accident, or is there something more sinister going on?

Wrote that at the top of my head, but you get the point. The first one was too vague. A chance encounter leads everyone into danger... what kind of danger? While with the second one, you see that Conan was almost hit by a car! The reader will think, "GAAH! CONAN! Is he alright? I gotta see this!" etc, etc.

If you do something like this, and make your chapters just a wee bit longer, I'm sure you'll get more views on your story. :D You see, really short chapters cuts the suspense too short, and there simply isn't enough time for the reader to properly get into the story. I suggest maybe combining some of your chapters to make up the difference. I see that you're a slow typer (hehe me too) so I also suggest that maybe when you're writing stuff, you put the font size at 8-10. Thus, it looks as if you aren't writing as much, thus maybe subconsciuosly making you write more. (maybe? works with me) Try to set a goal too, like 1,500 words per chapter, or writing at least 1 whole page by the end of the day.

On another note, when I read your story, it's kind of weird because all the words are aligned to the center instead of to the left side. Is that intentional, or just a typo...?

Hope this helps and good luck with your story! :D
8/28/2010 c6 StevenChina
Good chapter, the part where Megure and the Doctor questions the girl was pretty funny. The story is getting deeper now, and the ending is exactly like how they would do it on the TV show. Keep up the good work.
8/8/2010 c4 17AppleCider1412
continue! and longer! this short chapter stuff is annoying without a good reason for it to be short.
8/5/2010 c3 91412 karasu
Short, but interesting. I didn't really understand what happened in the beginning, but I get it now. Though how could that person have bee. Filming the car at that exact moment, I don't know.
8/4/2010 c3 StevenChina
The way the story is going is interesting. A lot of mystery and suspense. You captured the characters personalities pretty well, as well as the deduction of the police officers. All in all, looks foward to next.

Ps: Glad your computer's fixed.
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