
11/5/2010 c3 Gipsyspider
I am enjoying how you've written a TxHP fic without Harry being suddenly gay- thank you for that!
Your writing is decent, however IMHO every now and then the characters slip into an immaturity that grates me. You need to be careful in building your characters. either they are strong and mature yet youthful, or they are teenage fools who have yet to grow up. They have been through a war... unless they have PTSD (and even then)they should, by now, be developed sufficiently so that there is no need to have them slipping into baby-girl-giggles. Trust me, it's not endearing and it makes the fic read ... well, cheap.
I'd love to see the story develop, perhaps you could be a little more critical on your chrs?
Good luck!
I am enjoying how you've written a TxHP fic without Harry being suddenly gay- thank you for that!
Your writing is decent, however IMHO every now and then the characters slip into an immaturity that grates me. You need to be careful in building your characters. either they are strong and mature yet youthful, or they are teenage fools who have yet to grow up. They have been through a war... unless they have PTSD (and even then)they should, by now, be developed sufficiently so that there is no need to have them slipping into baby-girl-giggles. Trust me, it's not endearing and it makes the fic read ... well, cheap.
I'd love to see the story develop, perhaps you could be a little more critical on your chrs?
Good luck!
11/4/2010 c3
2Nephtys Rayesh
I'm so glad you had time to continue! But I really don't like your cliffy ;)

I'm so glad you had time to continue! But I really don't like your cliffy ;)
11/3/2010 c3 ladywatertiger
Will there be much drama will Jasper and Alice help Harry deal with Luna's death and the Wars nightmares?
I look forward to the next chapter.
Will there be much drama will Jasper and Alice help Harry deal with Luna's death and the Wars nightmares?
I look forward to the next chapter.
7/23/2010 c1
1fifespice
poor harry so how will theh cullens react to harry and if eh ahs the sight wont heh and alice be able to help one another out

poor harry so how will theh cullens react to harry and if eh ahs the sight wont heh and alice be able to help one another out
7/23/2010 c1
9Crysania Fay
Well this certainly looks interesting. Can't wait for the next chapter. Sad though that Luna had to die. I love to see the two of them together.

Well this certainly looks interesting. Can't wait for the next chapter. Sad though that Luna had to die. I love to see the two of them together.