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8/13/2011 c8 11Lucky and Witty Number18
Hey Strixpunzel,

For some weird reason, the review function wasn't working when I tried to leave one for this chapter. I finally decided to save a draft of this review, thus I'll have a copy if this one doesn't make it through.

As for this chapter, once again you start off wonderfully by immediately immersing the audience in a serene Hawaiian setting. I literally felt like drinking coconut water after reading the beginning.

Despite this, that feeling quickly shifts to suspense as the audience gains insight into the reason why Geoff is feeling so nervous and what the Total Drama gang's true reason for waiting at the pier.

I liked how you portrayed Gwen while she was waiting for Duncan, just because so many people tend to be polarized about her; either presenting her as excessively sweet to contrast her to Courtney's natural abrasiveness or conversely presenting her as completely unfeeling and callous.

Your portrayal once again shows your ability to give insight into the core of the character so that their actions always have a deeper meaning. Gwen is clearly emitting hostility, but you show that this is based in feelings of instability and isolation, where she is desperate for someone to not judge her and show her some degree of kindness.

Hehe, great idea to have Duncan abandon ship before reaching the pier. The boy may not have book smarts, but he certainly has enough common sense not to walk into a situation that would once again lead to a direct assault on his kiwis.

Interesting move in having Geoff being mad at Duncan. I never even made the connection that he would be sensitive to Courtney's situation, but it is a very valid point.

Furthermore, it never occurred to me that Duncan was unaware of what had happened in his absence. As an omnipresent audience member, I just naturally slipped into the mode of thought that the characters know just as much as we do.

The part where Duncan watches the entire season up to that point honestly reads a little slow in my opinion and despite us learning of Duncan's determination after that point, the lack of a cohesive plan kind of puts a damper on the whole thing.

One thing that kind of didn't make sense to me was Geoff's refusal to get Bridgette involved in Duncan's plan to talk to Courtney. As her best friend on the show, Bridgette would been a good asset to the plan and she might have been able to help Duncan plan how to reconcile with Courtney more effectively.

It makes sense that Blaineley is the one person Bridgette is capable of hating. The two of them are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum, with one representing compassion and the other representing malice.

While the tension and eventual conflict between the two does seem like a natural path for the story to take, I honestly feel that Bridgette would have be either more creative or subtle in dealing with Blaineley rather than challenging her to a brawl. Blaineley seems like the the type of character to dig her own grave through her misdeeds, and for Bridgette to directly challenge her is like she's sinking down to Blaineley's level rather than standing up for what's right.

Another thing that I was a little iffy on was Courtney's attitude during this chapter. Like Gwen, you make it clear that she's acting out based upon internalized feelings, but the I feel with this chapter is that it just ends up sounding like typical angry Courtney. Most of the audience is aware that Courtney is capable of this type of behavior, but I believe the chapter would've been more powerful if her time with Cody had allowed some of his softness to rub off on her. This story has shown a lot of emotional growth for characters like Cody, Sierra, Duncan, and Courtney, but the latter's behavior at the Aftermath and when talking to Duncan seem to have her revert to her tendencies during Season 2.

Hehe, as for the much awaited return of Alien Cody... I can't believe he's still trapped within the urinal. I would have guessed that he had been partially responsible for Camp Wawanakwa becoming the toxic landfill it is in Season 4, but that's just me. XD

Ya know, the more I read Alien Cody's lines, the more I can hear that Vegeta voice you said you imagine him having (plus I've been watching quite a bit of DBZ Kai recently).

Interesting choice to have LeShawna try to patch things up between Gwen and Courtney. Her original portrayal on the show was someone who was "real" as opposed to Heather's "fakeness," so it was nice to see her handle the situation so practically. Bridgette's counter to Gwen's accusations was also very well done, for it really highlighted the quiet dignity that characterizes her.

The comfort scene between Trent and Gwen was the best part of this chapter for me, for I felt that it really showed why a boy like Trent is better for Gwen than Duncan because he can be honest when talking to her about her problems but still remains sensitive to them. Poor Duncan doesn't exactly excel at either at honesty or sensitivity (or math, but that's an unrelated point XD).

Hehe, Harold's rap was pretty funny. To describe conservative Courtney as "sexy fine" probably wasn't the smartest move in retrospect. I'm not too fond of rap, but the song was a nice way to feature Harold, though it would've been nice if it was a tad longer.

The skeptic viewer and the triplets were interesting, because they allowed the plotholes of the cartoon to be ripped wide open and for the cast to handle it in true Total Drama fashion... by diving headfirst into even more zaniness! (Poor Duncan will never recover from the trauma those darn AleDuncan have induced upon him "glare's at the author accusingly")

Sigh, am I going nuts if I actually think it was a "good" idea for Izzy to be the one to explain shipping? Shipping is so crazy, only that girl can capture it's true essence (plus she knows how to work a crowd). Sadly, the shipping song was not one of my faves from this story so far, especially due to the fact that since this chapter was supposed to Duncan trying to win back Courtney, it just seemed that it would be more natural for him to sing a song, even if there is a risk that he could lose his beloved reputation.

Usually I would sympathize with Noah once those darn NoCo shippers get going, but he's been a sadistic little "bleepity bleep" this chapter, so I actually find it a little refreshing to see him squirm for a bit.

As for Duncan saying that "he wanted to break her heart before she could break his" ... I just didn't feel as though that line really captured what drove them apart. On the show, it didn't really seem as though he was more concerned about losing Courtney as much as he was concerned with losing his identity as a tough punk who answered to nobody. It seemed that the whole reason he left the show and later hooked up with Gwen was that he could take some time to find himself away from Courtney and be with a girl who was more accepting of his self-image.

Courtney's mentioning the others affected by Season Three's debauchry was a good touch, because that line shows that a good story does not have it's characters return to the ideologies they had before unique experiences, because said experiences shape the characters into wiser individuals who cannot look at the world the same way once they have lost their innocence.

For Courtney, her new insight allows her to realize that she had formed a meaningful relationship with another boy in Duncan's absence, and thus she has a obligation to see that commitment through, even if it means distancing herself from her past.

So Alien Cody's free huh? I'm predicting a battle between him and Feral Zekey, but heck, I've been wrong in the past. Also, nice hint at the Chris and Blaineley pairing. I believe their couple name is Chainley, which oddly seems to be a good fit for those two sadists.

Well, I believe that's all I have say about this chapter's plot development. Once again, thanks for the free language lessons at the end of the chapters and I can't wait for your review response. I honestly hope you found most of the things I said here helpful. :)
8/12/2011 c8 kjhgsfgfgkflklllljlj
As much as I dislike NoCo, the shipper song was just about the greatest thing I have ever read. ^^ I love it, and please, update whenever possible.
8/12/2011 c8 3teneery
I loved many things in this chapter: DJ, Geoff and Duncan trio back again, the song, how everyone didn't agree with Gwen's actions and felt pity for Cortney, Gwen and Trent moment, and, of course, the return of Alien Cody.

But there two moments I liked the most. One of them was that Gwen didn't feel guilty about her actions. In many fanfictions I've seen her feeling guilty or making Courtney a monster instead - both ways don't exactly match with the truth. The extra clips after 16th and 24th TDWT episodes showed us that Gwen didn't feel sorry for Courtney even for a moment - and I must congratulate you for showing that.

The second thing was when Courtney explained to Duncan why she changed in the second season. Him being the reason of her antagonistic behavior in TDA and reminding him that he still liked her that way and she never voted for him - I can see a personal touch here, which just made whole chapter better.

Oh, and NxS touch there again - I really like this underrated pairing, so I'm very, very happy seeing it there ;)

What I didn't like? That in comparison to the previous ones it wasn't THAT good. Can not really tell why. Maybe it's the feeling that this story os coming to an end. And that's a terryfying thought actually.
8/11/2011 c8 81DJ Rodriguez
0_0 *Bows to Moonwing* Words fail me, your Highness. This chapter... I mean... it was... just... WOW!

You really outdid yourself on this one, Moonwing! It had everything! Seriously, you should have finished Total Drama World Tour like this!

This was incredible! Hope to see more soon! Especially of Cody x Courtney moments! Keep it up!
8/9/2011 c1 19A Schoolday
Confound this fanfiction, now I have to add CodyxCourtney to my list of Total Drama pairings I like.

Nah, seriously. This fanfic is so good it got me into CxC

Congratulations
8/9/2011 c8 2SEGASister
This chapter is no different from the rest! AMAZING!

But...aww...I REALLY wanted to hear Duncan sing to Courtney, even if she wouldn't forgive him in the end.

However, keep up the good work!

(DUNCNEY SHIPPER ALL THE WAY!)
8/7/2011 c8 3WhiteTigerStripes
I luv this story! I can't wait to see who Courtney ends up with. Is it wrong to want Duncney back if this is a CoCo fic? Can't wait to read more!
8/6/2011 c8 21RandomNumbers523156
You update, victory for humanity! Serious, again one more fine job. It's a pity that some episodes will be skipped (you're an excellent writer, it would be good to see your rendition of those episode), but that's not a big problem, the awesomeness of this story makes up. Sierra will be eliminated, well that's a given fact, but I suggest to divide the last chapter in two parts, like you did in China, I think it's good for the pacing and it gives a feeling that's the BIG finale.

Anyway, again you did justice to Gwen, Courtney and Duncan's character. Gwen is a cool character but she is still a loner, she must be used to people bugging her so she has this attitude, being someone distant, suspicious and her stubborness is very justified. Courtney is ice, as someone already said, you capture very well her virtues and vices, if something is not working according to her plan, she has a blue screen of death when she doesn't freak out. Duncan also was very interesting, showing what happens when people decide to be bad to be cool in reality ("I guess I wanted to break your heart before you had the chance to break mine.", I don't know but I have the feeling he doesn't know the real extension of the consequences). The discussion with Courtney was very well done, a sensible moment that made me feel sorry for both.

But thankfully the chapter was filled with funny moments, Alien Cody (I hope he shows up in the final, I'd like to see a battle against Zombie Zeke (I guess he also will appear in the final, but not to just provide a weird ending)), or Alien Cody just to RIP AND TEAR GUTS! Harold's song was very good, it was really catchy to the point I can imagine a soundtrack in my head. Ditto with Izzy's ("Damn shippers" indeed Eva; shipping is good but it can't be done for the sake of itself). The guest were also funny (too bad Philips, this is not real life). Keep going!
8/6/2011 c8 WittyNumber18
It's been a while Miss. Moonwing. I'm glad that even though it's summer vacation and you should be relaxing a bit, you're still finding the time to write these awesome chapters.

I do have some criticism but I still like the general direction that the story is going in:

Some of the things I disliked about this were that Courtney appeared so suddenly without much of a reason, I know it was because of the PDA, but it hardly seemed fitting. I also didn't like how she chose to stay and subject herself to Blaineley and the audience's harassment. The conflict scene between Duncan and Courtney was decent but for Duncan to finish it by suggesting they forget it ever happen sounded more like an excuse than an attempt at redemption, which I thought you were trying to go for. I also found Izzy's shipper song to be both unnecessary and not really that gripping, but that's just me. Finally, the Total Drama Smackdown scene was a bit too much, and as the viewer Phillips said, completely unrealistic.

Now that I have permanently scarred you with my soul slashing criticism, (just joking XD) I'd like to say a few things I liked about the chapter. First of all, yay Alien Cody, destroy those pathetic humans in the name of the ... err... I mean yay he's back. I really liked his parts and I can't wait to see how he gets his revenge. I really liked the interactions between Gwen, Trent, and rest of the cast. At first, she just seemed like she was deluding herself that it was either Courtney or Duncan that was at fault, but in the end with a little help from Trent, she realized that she must accept her mistakes and rise above them to become a better person. I also liked that you didn't automatically hook up Trent and Gwen again, but allowed it that with some time and patience, it could happen. Finally, excellent job with native languages of the foreign speakers, it brings a new level of authenticity and diversity to your work that more people can appreciate, and it also serves as a good learning tool.

P.S. I'm temporarily back on fanfiction and have posted a Smurfs fic on my brother's page. If you could check it out and maybe leave a review, that would be so awesome.

P.P.S. Lucky will leave a review of his own soon.

Till then,

Witty
8/6/2011 c8 5ribbonfly
I thought everything was great. I really enjoyed how you touched on the LeShawna and Gwen friendship, the Gwen and Trent relationship, and the Killer Bass trio. I really wished the real Aftermath episode touched on the Gwen and Duncan relationship. I thought since everyone disliked Gwen from Total Drama Action, they would hate TDWT Gwen.

Part of me really wanted Courtney and Duncan be together but then I thought of Cody. Since CoCo and Duncney are my favorite ships it is conflicting to choose one.

I really would be less upset at the Gwen and Duncan relationship if Courtney and Duncan broke up first.

I loved the song Izzy sung. I knew once the topic of shipping came up, NoCo had to show. Love it, hate it, or be indifferent, Everyone in the Total Drama fandom knows NoCo.

I can't wait for the next chapter but I can make some predictions due to your other story "The Lawyer, the Snoop, and the Scandal". I want Cody to win!

I wonder what will happen when Gwen and Duncan meet? Duncan is right about Gwen's wants, Gwen wants someone that can connect with her artistic soul.

I want sweet Duncan back on the show.

How will Cody, Heather, Sierra, and Alejandro get to Hawaii?

Thank you for another great chapter,

ribbonfly
8/6/2011 c8 nightmaster000
AWESOME chapter loved it i think it's pretty clear now that Courtney and Duncan are done. Alien Cody returns and to say he's ticked off would be a understatement will we see him again before the story end's.
8/6/2011 c8 Noexiste
HI, AWESOME CAP. Update soon, plisss

Byye :)
8/6/2011 c8 2The Codemeister
woo hoo. awesome chapter. although i woulda liked to have seen the bridgette/blaineley conflict go on for a bit longer. oh well maybe Courtney and Gwen will get into it next time.
8/5/2011 c8 8DramaRose13
OMG! Totally awesome chapter! I know that this is a CoCo fic, but I'm still really upset about Duncney. As much as I love CoCo (thanks to you Strix!), I will always be a true Duncney fan. The chapter was funny and dramatic, and the songs were cute. I love the Killer Bass Trio and I'm glad to see it back! I know Alien Cody is evil, but I still feel bad for him. I think it's awesome that they are on Kauai! I went to Kauai last year and I know almost everything about it, so if you need any info on Kauai for the (sadly) final chapters, let me know! Again, excellent chapter, I can't wait for more!
7/11/2011 c7 37Asher Tye
An interesting chapter, though I guess this means we're not going to see Rapa Phooey done up (since Alejandro now has no chance of tricking Cody into a potential alliance). Still this was very good and I'm eager for the next one. Are you going to do an Aftermath though? I think it'd be cool to see how that would play out differently here.

And I loved Cody getting a chance to take down Duncan, much more satisfying than the punch in Greece's Pieces. I may be a Cody/Sierra fan, but you've definitely got me hooked on CoCo.
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