for Present Memories10/19/2010 c10 Guitongkuri
WAIT
WHAT
SHE
JESSE
NO
KIIIISSSSSSSS?
-rereads-
grrr
XDDDD
SEQUEL
SEQUEL
SEQUEL
SEQUEL
XDDDDDD
WAIT
WHAT
SHE
JESSE
NO
KIIIISSSSSSSS?
-rereads-
grrr
XDDDD
SEQUEL
SEQUEL
SEQUEL
SEQUEL
XDDDDDD
10/12/2010 c9 
18The-Artful-Trickster
Need's a satisfiying ending but juding by your homepage is still in progress so I'm still hoping!
18The-Artful-TricksterNeed's a satisfiying ending but juding by your homepage is still in progress so I'm still hoping!
10/11/2010 c9 17Qu-ko
...Are you serious?
I reviewed this before, thinking it couldn't get all that much worse than your standard mediocre OC sibling fic, which we have way too much of in this section as it is. But it did, apparently.
You put absolutely no effort whatsoever into that ending, it's very plain to see, and you said it best yourself - it was sloppy and, more than anything, anticlimactic. That's not the kind of ending you want to strive for, ever, and I can tell a few of your readers are just as if not MORE disappointed if the reviews are anything to go by. You didn't know how to handle the soap opera situation you'd written up realistically, as far as I can tell, so you just half-assed it even more than you did when you changed a perfectly good background without any reason other than to include your OC and some Lifetime drama. The father's behavior wasn't believable, the "siblings'" behaviors weren't believable... hell, even the MOTHER'S behavior was pretty stereotypical and cliche.
It's made even worse by the fact that you state in your profile that you want to be a professional writer in the future. I can't help but find that notion extremely unrealistic at this point, considering how you treated my last review (which was nowhere near professional critic material, either). Judging by that display alone, you have a long, long way to go before you'll ever get a novel published and/or received well to boot.
There's nothing saying it can't change, granted, but as of now? You're not exactly headed in the right direction, and it seems like you need a lot more practice, better guidance, classes on creative writing, and reviews that aren't the kind you typically find on this site more than anything. A serious writing community, perhaps, as opposed to one that does it as a hobby. And not in fandom, at that, as much fun as fandom is to dabble in.
17Qu-ko...Are you serious?
I reviewed this before, thinking it couldn't get all that much worse than your standard mediocre OC sibling fic, which we have way too much of in this section as it is. But it did, apparently.
You put absolutely no effort whatsoever into that ending, it's very plain to see, and you said it best yourself - it was sloppy and, more than anything, anticlimactic. That's not the kind of ending you want to strive for, ever, and I can tell a few of your readers are just as if not MORE disappointed if the reviews are anything to go by. You didn't know how to handle the soap opera situation you'd written up realistically, as far as I can tell, so you just half-assed it even more than you did when you changed a perfectly good background without any reason other than to include your OC and some Lifetime drama. The father's behavior wasn't believable, the "siblings'" behaviors weren't believable... hell, even the MOTHER'S behavior was pretty stereotypical and cliche.
It's made even worse by the fact that you state in your profile that you want to be a professional writer in the future. I can't help but find that notion extremely unrealistic at this point, considering how you treated my last review (which was nowhere near professional critic material, either). Judging by that display alone, you have a long, long way to go before you'll ever get a novel published and/or received well to boot.
There's nothing saying it can't change, granted, but as of now? You're not exactly headed in the right direction, and it seems like you need a lot more practice, better guidance, classes on creative writing, and reviews that aren't the kind you typically find on this site more than anything. A serious writing community, perhaps, as opposed to one that does it as a hobby. And not in fandom, at that, as much fun as fandom is to dabble in.
10/11/2010 c9 12Gunmare
You got to be kidding! No offense I love the story but is that it? I suspect more! I hope for a sequel
12GunmareYou got to be kidding! No offense I love the story but is that it? I suspect more! I hope for a sequel
10/11/2010 c9 Guitongkuri
-twitches-
it's... the... enddd?
O - o
alsdkjlakjd
NUUUUUU
write a sequel! write a sequeeellll!
please?
-twitches-
it's... the... enddd?
O - o
alsdkjlakjd
NUUUUUU
write a sequel! write a sequeeellll!
please?