for Present Memories9/3/2010 c6 
1k+reminiscent-afterthought
Nice one. I'd say the length was okay. And now we're all left to wander what's going to happen when their Dad comes face to face with them.
1k+reminiscent-afterthoughtNice one. I'd say the length was okay. And now we're all left to wander what's going to happen when their Dad comes face to face with them.
9/3/2010 c6 Shuraki
Regarding Jesse and your OC: you haven't actually given a very good reason for pairing them, other than to get Jesse out of the way of Fianceeshipping, I suppose. He has no reason to fall in love with her right now, or even really like her much more than an acquaintance or classmate, considering he clicked with Jaden a lot more than he did your OC, and would probably be more likely to fall for HIM than for his "sister" if he was going to pick anybody to fall in love with and care about.
Plus, you make it seem like Jaden has some romantic feelings for Alexis from the start, which he doesn't. They're very subtle nuances in the prose, I noticed, but I still caught onto them, and I wouldn't exactly call it a good way to pair those two up. They need a lot more working at to pair them up than that.
Semi-relatedly, where is Yubel in all this? Are you just writing her out of Jaden's history for the sake of convenience or what? (I wouldn't if I were you.)
Off the subject of pairings, the family angst feels very tacked-on and unnecessary. Jaden had a perfectly fine backstory up until now, you didn't really need to go changing it to create a plot device or tension. There are plenty of other untouched plot points and possible ideas you could've worked with instead to create drama, rather than rearrange characters and backstories to suit your standard-issue plot device. Not to mention, again I have to wonder where Yubel is, because surely she would be jumping to protect Jaden by now if this is sometime in the fourth season.
Next thing you know, Alexis is going to become a childhood friend of Jaden's or something...
All in all, this just feels like cheap, pasted on Lifetime drama with the GX characters' names and setting instead of generic ones. And I've never considered Lifetime to be all that entertaining, in truth.
Regarding Jesse and your OC: you haven't actually given a very good reason for pairing them, other than to get Jesse out of the way of Fianceeshipping, I suppose. He has no reason to fall in love with her right now, or even really like her much more than an acquaintance or classmate, considering he clicked with Jaden a lot more than he did your OC, and would probably be more likely to fall for HIM than for his "sister" if he was going to pick anybody to fall in love with and care about.
Plus, you make it seem like Jaden has some romantic feelings for Alexis from the start, which he doesn't. They're very subtle nuances in the prose, I noticed, but I still caught onto them, and I wouldn't exactly call it a good way to pair those two up. They need a lot more working at to pair them up than that.
Semi-relatedly, where is Yubel in all this? Are you just writing her out of Jaden's history for the sake of convenience or what? (I wouldn't if I were you.)
Off the subject of pairings, the family angst feels very tacked-on and unnecessary. Jaden had a perfectly fine backstory up until now, you didn't really need to go changing it to create a plot device or tension. There are plenty of other untouched plot points and possible ideas you could've worked with instead to create drama, rather than rearrange characters and backstories to suit your standard-issue plot device. Not to mention, again I have to wonder where Yubel is, because surely she would be jumping to protect Jaden by now if this is sometime in the fourth season.
Next thing you know, Alexis is going to become a childhood friend of Jaden's or something...
All in all, this just feels like cheap, pasted on Lifetime drama with the GX characters' names and setting instead of generic ones. And I've never considered Lifetime to be all that entertaining, in truth.
9/3/2010 c6 2MaemiSmile
Jacey and Jesse would be a really cute couple! haha I can't wait to see how this is gonna turn out!
2MaemiSmileJacey and Jesse would be a really cute couple! haha I can't wait to see how this is gonna turn out!
8/21/2010 c2 PrincessAnime08
Poor Jaden, even in though everyone's concern they should give him his space
Poor Jaden, even in though everyone's concern they should give him his space
8/21/2010 c5 Guitongkuri
yay! Yay! Yaaaayyyy!
first thing i do when i wake up: check my email from my phone. See? There's an update. That makes my day~
yay! Yay! Yaaaayyyy!
first thing i do when i wake up: check my email from my phone. See? There's an update. That makes my day~
8/16/2010 c4 Guitongkuri
RAWWWWRRRRR
I DEMANDS UPDATES
please?
i need more awesomeness...
*breaks into house and starts begging you for more*
RAWWWWRRRRR
I DEMANDS UPDATES
please?
i need more awesomeness...
*breaks into house and starts begging you for more*