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for Legends Never Die

1/2/2014 c20 89KaliAnn
Fabulous chapter. I really liked the highlights of the battle and the details that went into making this chapter. I think this was one of the best yet!
1/2/2014 c20 15Leaf Ranger
Holy shit...you killed off that Flame guy...I was not expecting that.

Considering the build up you had on him, I thought he would be around much longer. Like one of the final Akatsuki members to fall before Tobi/Obito and Madara.

Still, epic work here overall. It was awesome to see that Yugito is alright, but I do hope Kirabi is rescued in time. guess we'll see.

Keep up the amazing work, and hopefully I can finish my Shinobi's Creed chapter soon.
12/19/2013 c19 1mundanebeast
Very entertaining story...I think the next few chapters ought to be worth waiting for
12/6/2013 c19 Shrouded Monarch
This has proven to be a really great story so far, and I'm loving it. I've ignored sleep and revision for exams the past few days in favour of getting this story finished. It really is a testament to what Naruto fanfiction can be. A few mistakes I have noticed are that you tend to use the word "cloths" when you should be using "clothes" and that "my" and "me" are used in the wrong place as well. I feel it's also gotten to the point where I think the mysterious man clad it black is going to have to sit down and have a chat with Naruto about who exactly he is, and why he failed as the beacon. My suspicions were actually on Itachi, or a character (most likely Naruto himself) from the future. One think I will admit to disliking is having fights spread out over multiple chapters, especially when there's no firm date on when an update can be expected. It's been over four months since the last one, and it'd be pretty nice if you could include a quick summary of the previous chapter at the top of the next one, as you'll find that people will lose interest if they have to go back and read through every chapter (and the previous story) just to get a good idea of what's going on. This is especially relevant to the fight that was not shown in this chapter at all, even though the AN at the end of Chapter 18 said we'd see its conclusion. Either way, I'm really enjoying this story so far, and look forward to seeing the conclusion of the aforementioned battle, as well as Team 8's revenge on Flare.

Thanks for writing
Keep up the good work and update soon
CC
10/22/2013 c19 Guest
Aw! To bad its only to this chapter. Story is really good and unique and flows well with the all the unique abilitys that you gave the characters. Would be nice if you gave hinata atleast more noticeable power boosts and a greater use of the gentlefist. And maybe if you will continue have naruto and hinata both learn perfect senjutsu. Anyways story is really enjoyable and i really
10/19/2013 c10 Guest
Hopefully naruto and hinata will wait till after marriage before they get intimate.(that is if it hasnt happen yet in the story since i havent yet finish reading this story, its great by the way) Will show a good sense of morals by you(AUTHOR) since they seem to have been lost in the current generations and constantly degraded even more by writers and many forms of entertainment. Am referring to intimacy after marriage of course, it always gives a sense of a purer love and bond by two people that are emotionaly attach and not just physically and just want a object to let there lust loose on. You know so if you gonna make naruto and hinata be intimate which you mostly will, would be nice if you get them marry first would be a more 'sacred moment' something like that. Bring back those values that have being long lost if you want of course.
9/11/2013 c19 1I'm Naruto Dude
awesome
8/17/2013 c1 7mydemonsangel
I love this one and the one before it was just as amazing
8/8/2013 c19 7SilentSinger948
Glad Naruto was able to gain control over Kurama's chakra. Makes me wonder what he'd do without it. I can just tell the fight with Flame is going to be intense!
Can't wait for the next chapter.
8/6/2013 c19 SpartanM60
BRING IT OOOOON
7/29/2013 c11 Guest
What the fuck you can't kill drag
7/31/2013 c19 2Soulfist
I suppose I should start off by saying that I haven't read this story prior to today, and, upon reading it today, I only went through chapter 19. Granted, though, I have read 'part 1.' The reason that I was reluctant to read this before was simply because I was worried that it wouldn't be updated! But, enough of that. On to the review:

I enjoyed the interactions toward the end; honestly, I would have to say that, that was my favorite portion of the chapter.
Now, it's not that the rest was *bad* per se. It's just that there was a lot about it that made it difficult to read. Unfortunately I'm on a phone at the moment, so, I cannot reasonably provide quoted examples; but, I can promise to be clear in stating the issues.

1. The grammar - It was very rough. Not in the sense that your English is 'terrible,' or something like that, but more in the sense that it was very unrefined. Looking at it, it's clear that you didn't edit, but if you did, it was not a very careful session. I admit, I'm guilty of poor editing habits as well. If you take my own story for example: although it comes out good enough, I could always make it nicer, leaner, or cleaner if I took that extra hour to really edit it.
Some examples of problems that I discovered while reading include:
a) poor usage of commas or total lack of said usage
b) potential comma-splices to be found here and there
c) to the point of *b*, there were run-on sentences
d) lack of regard for certain convention/format

Now, there were a couple more things, but alas, I can't remember them!

2. The choppiness - This point is fairly simple: there was just a terrible amount of choppiness whether it be in transition, in-scene, or otherwise. A majority of it could be found in the fight scene.

3. Dragged out battle - I was reluctant to accept the criticism left by several of your reviewers (regarding the infamous - apparently - fight scene), but, after reading it first hand I have to at least partially agree; it was incredibly dragged out and there was a tormenting lack of detail in certain areas. With that, and the aforementioned choppiness, it really wasn't a nice or grand as it could have been. I'm sorry for saying this, but it's - for the most part, anyhow - true.

There is more that I could say, Kyuubi123, both good and bad, as a matter-of-fact; but, I believe what I've said is sufficient, and, I believe my point(s) have been made.

As a final note, please don't take offense to this review - it's not intended to be offensive at all. I'm merely trying to make the story better, in helping you, as I liked the first part immensely and would like to see its sequel done justice. Thanks for the story. I definitely will pick it up again as a reader, that is, as soon as I get some more work on my next chapter done.

Peace.

-soulfistx
7/31/2013 c19 Dynamite on Cure
oh man, you really love battle scenes, don't you? right from one battle to the next. Those battles are way too unnecessarily long. If it could have ended earlier, it should have. There were paragraphs i didnt even read and i still got the ending. The battle was mostly "and he said '!' and he attacked with '?' and then..." so can you see how it got really drawn out and repetitive for me? I got tired just reading it (fell asleep twice). I think the only really useful part was vasuki's tornado vacuum as a distraction for the seal (basically the ending). Almost everything before that was killing characters so you wouldn't need to write what they were doing once that happened. So ultimately, all the team work left one dragon on his own and naruto was never in danger the whole time because he was "ignored" and then protected by his parents. HE. WAS. SAFE. Everyone else got f****d. He didn't develop as a ninja. He didn't even feel bad letting them get hurt. THIS Naruto is an arsehole, a hypocrite (i'll never let my friends get hurt! - *just letting them get hurt*) and weakling. All talk and no walk.

How long did naruto even relax for after all that? Five, maybe ten, minutes total? I wish we could have seen Naruto and hinata during their relaxing time and that this ended on them thinking about the battle to come. It feels too rushed to have them rest for an inexplicable amount of time and have them come out rearing to go. What got them so pumped to fight? Where was all their motivation coming from? Did any shenanigans happen that lightened their mood even for a second? Did reality come crushing down on them? Did ANYONE visit Haku? Was Hinata at all curious about what Naruto did during his Kyuubi battle (i mean, come on! He said he talked to his parents! She'd have questions like hell! "Who & how were they?" etc). Also didn't he forget to do something extremely important? Something like, oh-i-don't-know, informing Jiraiya and/or tsunade about the info he got about the masked man that attacked the village at his birth?! At this point, all those things were not made aware to the other characters (not from what i saw) so unless they have some kind of hive mind going on, there should be some interrogating... Preferably over ramen.

I still wasn't told how long naruto was unconscious in real time for his Kyuubi battle nor do i know what hinata and jiraiya did the whole time if it was longer than 20 minutes. I mean, you can only expectantly watch a comatose person so long before you get bored. Jiraiya said it was all up to Naruto anyway so them watching meant nothing.

('Thank you my friends. Get a good rest, you've earned it.' Naruto thought as they vanished.) That part made me think of pokemon. I feel like i just watched a pokemon battle. Kyuubi was the legendary. Naruto must be a true pokeMaster (oh wait, he can't be one because he specializes in dragon types)! Maybe in the battle, naruto should have only been able to use one or two dragons. Also, what a crutch those dragon were. Cannon-naruto didn't have help. Stop spamming the dragons already! You are severely underestimating Naruto. He had BOTH of his parents at the same time. I think that's more than enough OP. In the end, it wasn't even about brute strength, but winning Kyuubi's trust, so... what if there was more dialogue between Naruto and kyuubi? I think what they said so far was okay as it was, if you cut out the battle scenes between those two lines.

As a recap of my points:
1) SOOO many battles
2) Not enough info for the readers about what happened
3) Not enough info for the characters
4) No relaxing and no motives
5) Pokemon. Dragon spam.
6) This naruto has no character and does nothing.
7/30/2013 c19 5Torns
Please don't be offended, as I have a very offensive sense of humor. I wouldn't be saying anything if I didn't have a legitimate argument.

1. So did Naruto really have that problem with the Tailed-Beast Mode in canon or are you just pulling that our of your ass so that he won't completely destroy Deidara and that Fire guy on the next chapter?

2. Even then, Naruto could still probably destroy them with his dragons, oh wait, they're conveniently out of commission.

3. I still don't get what the big deal is about the Fire guy. So he killed this little girl they briefly met on this one mission some years ago, and it affected them to this extent? I mean yeah, it's a complete disregard for human life, and a shitty thing to do, but they didn't even really know her all that well.

4. Isn't Jiraya Naruto's sensei? He pretty much preaches to never seek revenge and all that, so why the hell is Naruto doing exactly the opposite of what his sensei tells him to do, and why isn't Jiraya giving him any shit about it?
7/30/2013 c19 3Shizuka Taiyou
Well I was wondering when I was going to see more awesomeness from you my friend.

C.D.
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