Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Sonic and the Dark Chef: A Fatal Reckconing

10/13/2019 c1 Guest
This is garbage. You’re a garbage writer just quit writing.
1/12/2012 c1 3VinylScratch2006
Your story is good but too short. Second, you have multiple grammar errors. You don't need to put commas at the end of quotation marks to signify that the person said what was in the quotation marks.
11/30/2010 c1 5The Blocked Writer
Not bad. It's certainly... short.

Okay, seriously. This is pretty good, although it's a pretty big departure from the Sonic series as a whole.

Every writer to what he wills, though. ;]

Your imagination is obviously working, but you need to separate your dialogue into a new paragraph whenever a different person is speaking. You also need to connect your commas to the last word before, and your quotation marks need to be connected to the dialogue it's marking.

'Cheeseburger' and 'chili dog' do not need to be capitalized.

"Welcome the the grand opening of Larek's American Dinner Factory where we have everything that the USA US Awesome in and as opening promotion we are giving free entrees to the fifty customers and free buffets to the first twenty."

Okay there are a few things wrong with this. The sentence is missing a few key words and commas, and the whole thing kind of loses track after 'US Awesome'. Next time, try something like this.

"Welcome to the grand opening of Larek's American Dinner Factory, where we have everything that the USA, US of Awesome, holds dear! As an opening promotion, we are giving away free entrees to the first fifty customers and free buffets to the first twenty!"

Think about it. ;D

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service