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12/18/2011 c1 Lovey101
Umm, I just found out that you gave me an alert. Why? What's wrong with my story? Your's is great by the way. Tell me what's wrong with mine. I need suggestions and corrections...
7/3/2011 c5 11Kaith1
Everyone writer gets writers block every once in a while. It help to just put aside the story and think of other things until your imagination gets back on track. And don't worry, only about 1% of Fanfictions are popular when they're first released. A lot of readers tend to chose completed stories to read instead, and unless you're planing on putting adult themes in here, change the rating from M to T. And also, you only have 3 chapters of story out and you already have 14 reviews (well 15 counting mine) and that's actually impressive. Finally, if you want more reviews, break the chapters down to about half the size they are. You don't have to cut anything out, it's just that the more current the story is, the higher up it is on the search page. Your last update according to Fanfiction was back in March so this story is probably on page 7 of the search list. That might get you a few more reviews. If you think you really did a crappy job on this (I don't think you did) then quit it for a while and start up a new idea. You'd be surprised at how a completely different idea can give you new ones for this story.
7/3/2011 c4 Kaith1
Good chapter and bad chapter.

Good: When writing, you have the quality where people who have never read Naruto before, can start reading this chapter, and completely understand how Sakura feels. The cloud Ninja; the way you created that character is impressive. Whenever I read about original characters they're dull and just there to fill in a gap. But the Cloud ninja is the mysterious type who reminds me of Zabuza and Haku. Here's my first impression of him: He's a bad guy who also has a good heart, but tends to not follow it.

Bad: Unfortunately, FanFiction.Net isn't like a bookstore so people can't just randomly pick up the story and turn to this chapter. People here tend to pick to read fanfictions about things they know about, so the lengthy flashbacks become dull and bore the reader. If the flashbacks are original ideas, that's good and keep them in, but if they happened in the story, keep them as short as possible to get your point across. There were also two spots in the last two paragraphs that I didn't understand. It seemed like you were missing a word or two.

Anyways, hope you found my rant helpful XD
4/11/2011 c2 Kaith1
Pretty good story so far. I like the cloud ninja you put in here. Is he supposed to be Sakura's 'other' in this story? ;)
3/24/2011 c1 Kaith1
Hey great first chapter but I can't really read the rest right now, studying for a test tomorrow, but i noticed you posted on your profile that you're encountering the same problem that I used to. Just wondering if you've checked my profile (Because you favorited one of my stories, thanks btw ;)) because I have the solution to the problem your most likely having posted on my bio. It's a really easy fix, so I hope you can post your next chapter.
3/10/2011 c5 Kurtulmak
Well, I was kind of enjoying the story. The only two things that bothered me was (a) that lavender is the color of Hinata's eyes (when inactive) and not her hair, which is more blue-black, and (b) author's notes in place of chapters.

But writer's block is horrible to deal with, so I get where you're coming from. And not every fic is going to reach 1000 reviews at a rapid pace; many great fics never get over a few dozen after hundreds of thousands of words of updates.
3/8/2011 c5 2Okazaki323
i think you should continue wit the story. it's good. it deserves more reviews than it gets. the sakura flashback wasn't too fun to read. however, you write a really good Hinata.
3/7/2011 c5 14Uzumaki Ricky
JUST PUT IT ASIDE FOR NOW! YOU DON'T HAVE TA QUIT!
2/7/2011 c3 Withering Arrow
O.o I had to look twice when I was mentioned to make sure I wasn't just seeing things, lol
2/7/2011 c4 Withering Arrow
Wow, I've been pretty busy so I couldn't read the latest chapter, then when had time I forgot about it :(

I'm actually not very used to reading stories with this much character development, but it was somewhat interesting, certainly better than some of the fics out there that pointlessly bash Sakura. I may not like her very much, but I don't find enjoyment when I read about Sakura getting bashed, so this is a nice change, for me at least.
12/18/2010 c4 Uzumaki Ricky
NICE JOB. AT LEAST YOU'RE MAKING SAKURA STOP BEING A WHINY, DEPENDENT BITCH! NOW, IF YOU COULD ONLY WORK ON HER ANGER PROBLEMS.
12/5/2010 c3 Uzumaki Ricky
THAT'S OKAY.

BY THE WAY... I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT LAST PROBLEM! I'VE READ EVERY CHAPTER OF THE MANGA AND SENN EVERY EPISODE FO THE "NARUTO" ANIME SERIES!
10/15/2010 c2 Withering Arrow
Haha, whoever that cloud nin is He's awesome! If he's an oc then I commend you for making one that I actually enjoyed reading about, I'm a bit picky when it comes to ocs so good job! And I'm also liking the interaction between Naruto and Hinata.
10/13/2010 c1 Withering Arrow
This is an interesting start. It seems a little more unique than some of the other fics out there, so that's nice. Also, near the beginning there's a double sentence if you haven't caught it yet-

'In those days, Hinata made a promise with herself that she'd pass on her mother's way of the ninja onto her sister Hanabi as soon as she was of age.'
8/31/2010 c2 Uzumaki Ricky
WOW! NARUTO IS MEGA DENSE!
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