for The First Step1/3/2012 c1 
33Livelier
I really liked this. I think that this situation is very plausible (unlike so many others) and I like that it doesn't follow the format for so many Lily/James one shots - yell, scream, fight, make out, proclaim love for each other. Having the narrator be an outsider (I'm guessing Remus) was a great idea! A few of the paragraphs seemed a bit choppy, which is something that is always difficult to manage. But other than that it is definitely a solid beginning to your "career" as a fan fiction author!
Happy writing!
33LivelierI really liked this. I think that this situation is very plausible (unlike so many others) and I like that it doesn't follow the format for so many Lily/James one shots - yell, scream, fight, make out, proclaim love for each other. Having the narrator be an outsider (I'm guessing Remus) was a great idea! A few of the paragraphs seemed a bit choppy, which is something that is always difficult to manage. But other than that it is definitely a solid beginning to your "career" as a fan fiction author!
Happy writing!
12/12/2010 c1 17Secretismine4ever
really? first fic? no way! nuh uh! you must've been writing for years! no kidding! that story was really sweet!
17Secretismine4everreally? first fic? no way! nuh uh! you must've been writing for years! no kidding! that story was really sweet!
9/5/2010 c1 82Bittersweet x
Aaaw, this is just too sweet. The song fit in so perfectly, now I really want to hear it. I love it!
82Bittersweet xAaaw, this is just too sweet. The song fit in so perfectly, now I really want to hear it. I love it!
8/30/2010 c1 6hiddlestons
This is pretty good for your first fanfic! I just have one question though, who's POV is it told from?
6hiddlestonsThis is pretty good for your first fanfic! I just have one question though, who's POV is it told from?