4/9/2019 c1 2DarknessQueen321
I want to read this, I honestly do, but I can't when I can hardly make heads or tails of the words! Get a beta (or a better one), because your grammar is honestly terrible.

1) There needs to be a new paragraph everytime someone speaks.

2) There needs to be a new paragraph everytime a scene changes.

3) Stop making the sentences so bloody lengthy.

4) Don't say 'this will be explained later'. Yeah, it will be, but you don't have to announce it! Let the readers try to work out if it's going to be relevant later, THEN bring it up again in a chapter or two.

8/15/2014 c45 lovestwilight4evr
Just finish your story. Loved it. Could not stop reading it till it was done. Now i am sad that it is the end. Love the twist of your story and definitely originally your own. Should post future outtakes because Bella could still become pregnant...

7/22/2013 c45 Vanessa Cullen
Your story was great I am very intrigued and think you should write more

5/16/2013 c45 riena
okay i just have to ask, what is your inspiration? i'm really curious.. the story's so amazing!

2/16/2013 c45 Guest
it was different but i liked it :)

1/2/2013 c1 Guest
It's hard to follow your story when you include characters that weren't in twilight

6/20/2012 c45 ChristianMom54
Very different, but so enjoyable. Excellent out of the box thinking. Thank You

3/16/2012 c44 9LikeYouBelieveInMe100
wonderful job... ur almost done!