Just In
for Consultant is a Noun not a Verb

9/12/2010 c2 7mam711
I don't understand why Peter hadn't discussed the whole situation with Elizabeth before this. I think Elizabeth's wrong to take Neal's side in this, especially after Peter explained the pressure he's under from Hughes, and that Neal and Mozzie were still targets.

I don't think Neal would be that hostile to Peter, or would stop eating, for this long. He's a very smart man, and he would realize the things he did should have sent him back to prison for a very long time. And in jail he wouldn't be able to visit Mozzie at all. He's very very lucky to be in a nice apartment doing interesting work; that's completely because of Peter, and Neal knows it.
9/12/2010 c1 mam711
I didn't really like the grammar lesson part of this - didn't sound much like Peter to me (and 'revenge' can be a noun or a verb, but is usually a noun [I'd use 'avenge' instead of 'revenge' as a verb]), but agree that Peter and the FBI have great reason to be really, really pissed at Neal.

I did like the consequences, though I think it would be difficult for Peter to arrange the week in jail thing.
9/12/2010 c1 Dublin94568
I liked this 2nd chapter but I hope Peter does not go too easy on him. No we don’t want this to kill Neal but watching the last episode of the season, I was so mad at Neal. Peter has been used by Neal so often, been called up on it and Neal just sits back and lets Peter take the heat. In the episode “Free Fall” he even admits many of the things he has done in the past he does not regret. He has no feelings for the innocent folks (like the ones who bought forged bonds) he has ripped off.

Oh, and I would really think that Peter’s other team members would be quite mad at Neal as well. Peter brings this felon onto their team, seems to trust him more than the true team members who graduated from top schools, then lets this guy play them all. No way, punishment is due.

Good job, keep going.
9/12/2010 c2 26Stroma
Great chapter. Update soon please.
9/12/2010 c2 1RocklynnJasmine
Amazing and awesome story! I can't wait to read more of your amazing and awesome story! Have a great and wonderful day!
9/11/2010 c2 15yellowrose900
I love Elizabeth! This was another very well written chapter, can;t wait for the next. I love your writing style.
9/11/2010 c2 12breezyyy
really liked this chapter! i'm glad that things were explained more and that Peter told his side and we got to her from El too. thanks for updating so quickly!
9/11/2010 c2 ghostdolly
I can defenitely see Neal stop eating! My melodramatic angst mind can also see him snap and try to swallow down a whole bottle of something dangerous, but that's just my WC withdrawal symptoms talking. Really. LOL!

Thanks for sharing this with the rabid fans, govgal. Hope to keep reading more of it!
9/11/2010 c1 11randomchick51
i hate english class, you are making my head hurt...
9/11/2010 c2 26Enfleurage
Wow, kind of disappointing. This seems to have reverted to 'poor Neal, he shouldn't be held responsible for his own actions.'

Neal is a grown man. Why on earth would Peter be held responsible for whether Neal eats or not?
9/11/2010 c2 7Such Curiosity
aw poor Neal! :( I just want to hug him! -hugs Neal- great story! please update soon! =D
9/11/2010 c2 33Ultracape
I'm one of the people who don't think this was too harsh.

Neal stole a gun. I mean he barely even gave it a second thought. The guy could have at least paid for it by leaving some cash.

He was in possession of a weapon, a clear parole violation.

He conspired to steal the music box though that whole thing is a can of worms because Peter and Diana actually held it illegally as did the Italian ambassador. In that, Neal actually arranged for it to be returned to its rightful owners so he gets some points for that.

He nearly killed an innocent man.

He did con Peter.

The thing with Neal is that he wants to do the right thing. It's just that he and Peter (and the law) disagree on what the right thing should be and how to do it.

Anyway, I loved this chapter and think you're doing a fantastic job. I adored the grammar lesson in the first chapter.

If you don't mind though, I'm going to give you a bit of a story craft lesson.

You are avoiding the conflict, which is common in fanfiction. You don't have to throw El and other characters in here just to make this White Collar and forget the cuteness factor.

You started out with Peter developing a means to teach Neal what he was doing wrong. You have to take that to the next level which might be Neal using that same means to explain to Peter why he did it, why what he did was not only mature, but right.

What you've done, and I'm sure others will disagree, is to sidestep the conflict, take it away but not resolve it.

El is showing compassion but she's not solving the problem, she's ignoring it.

What has gone through Neal's mind through these three weeks? Has he re-examined his own reasoning? Has he come up with a Neal Caffrey plan to deal with the situation?

Stick with the conflict.
9/11/2010 c2 97peppe1951
I just love it when El talks to Peter like he is her child instead of husband. " he!" was great...

Peter needs to turn El loose on Hughes and I bet she could 'bully' Reece into agreeing with her...great chapter
9/11/2010 c2 Gloworm41
You go Elizabeth! So Hughes was behind Peter's harsh treatment of Neal. El is right Neal is a very social guy and 3 weeks without social interaction has really hurt him and Peter really does need to tell Neal the whole story behind why he has instituted the rules and what he is doing to protect not only Neal but Mozzie as well. Great job on this really looking forward to where you take this next. Please update soon.
9/11/2010 c2 5Shoen
i was reviewing the first one and you send the second!

Nice this one make me wonder what will peter do to neal about what he has done...hi hi hi... i just hope the serie won't bypass that part!

p.s the brownie points are genius!
75 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service