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9/14/2010 c1 23Animom
Short, vivid, and full of emotion. Nice work!

(aw, I always feel so sad for Yuugi in stories like this ...)
9/14/2010 c1 1k+Higuchimon
That was kind of saddish. Try as Yuugi might, there will still always be a shadow of Atemu for some people. Anzu doesn't mean it, I'm sure, but still...

At any rate, quite well done and I felt sorry for Anzu. That's the peril of being a dancer. Injuries can do worse than kill you sometimes. They can kill your dreams too. At least she got lucky. :)
9/11/2010 c1 Doubleplusgoodduckspeaker
Awwww. I took ballroom dancing lessons a few years back, and love the show, so it's a nice framework to put the characters in. You've got some good descriptions and good lines (the she never considered... endings are a good touch); I think a little more about Yugi and Anzu's relationship would have added a lot to the story; I think by it's end I might have known as much about Daisuke as a character as everyone else's! Also, I thought that the first scene wasn't explored fully-Anzu is elatedly happy one minute, then crying lightly the next. It was a little disorienting as a reader.

But I really liked the idea behind this, and the way you approached the Spiritshipping, and I do think you're improving-keep it up! Good job!
9/11/2010 c1 14jadedly
Ah, I liked that. It was so..bittersweet, I think is the word. :3 I'd give some concrit but for some reason I'm just /poof/ wiped out, right now, so I'll just leave it at this: Excellent job! :D

Good luck!
9/11/2010 c1 My Misguided Fairytale
Aww...I'm a huge fan of "So You Think You Can Dance," so I liked the fact that you drew on Anzu's experience as a dancer and the injury of Alex Wong; I thought you did a great job with Anzu's narration and her emotions and reactions to everything that goes on around her.

At the same time, I wanted to see more outside of the actual dancing and format of the show; I felt that you were telling us so much about what was happening with the show (when anyone familiar with SYTYCD would know the basics) and not telling us much about Anzu's relationship with Yuugi and the Pharaoh. I also think you should have named him at the beginning of the story instead of always calling him "him," as there was a lot of pronoun ambiguity and I was unsure what was going on most of the time until the very end.

Still, I felt that your writing was solid and this was a very creative way of utilizing Anzu's character and experiences to tell a good story! =) Best of luck this round!

~Jess (My Misguided Fairytale)
9/11/2010 c1 53yllimilly
This was sad, and I feel sorry for the dancer who inspired to write this fic. On a more cheerful note, I think the idea to haev Anzu compete on SYTYCD is awesome! Why didn't anyone else think about it before?

You have opted for a very fragmented narration, which is an interesting way to do it, but at times I feel like the 'page breaks' were unnecessary - the three paragraphs starting with "The next few days...", "Every night before she fell asleep" and "Two days before the performance show" needed not be split into different parts. Other than that, I liked your elegant storytelling, and your simple yet powerful plot.

Good luck for the contest!

Milly
9/10/2010 c1 25safa'at keruth
I love how in-character it is of Anzu to hold on to her memory of Yami as her only love, although poor Yugi's just sitting there and trying not to feel hurt. Which brings me to another point: I was expecting a stronger reaction from him. I mean, his girlfriend just chose the guy he'd always tried to be over him; shouldn't he at least be upset? Leave? Or maybe even get mad/break up? I don't know; in the fic he just sort of sat there.

Your writing mechanics were very good, although I feel that some parts of the story are unnecessary (when Anzh learns about what dance toe she's getting next, the description of the dances she's doing, etc) - and it's always better to have a short story where each word is meaningful than a long one filled with pointless scenes. XD Good job, and good luck!

~ Keru

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