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for Not What it Seems

9/7/2018 c20 Guest
The only problem I found with this chapter:

"When you think you're witnessing a problem, it's best to look for the cause."

"Huh?" Guy blinked, turning to Jade, "Oh… Yeah."

Anise called Jade over for something, and the military man moved over to where she and Ion were.

Ion wasn't with the group at that time, haha. Oops. :)
3/13/2017 c65 Guest
Im so hAppy youystill trying to finish this! You are basically the only guy/ oc story thats long im glad i decided to checkto see any updates :)
3/6/2017 c65 WithoutFortune
Good to see you back! It's nice reading this again after so long. I'm sorry to hear that school has been like that for you ;n; I've also learned that some school writing classes aren't the best. I hope you have better experiences.

Now onto the chapter.

I've always found Arietta to be somewhat tragic, and I think you portrayed that very well here. With the way this chapter ended, I can only wonder how the situation with Ion and Arietta will resolve. I'm not sure what to expect. So suspenseful ono

Great chapter! Very enjoyable to read :)
3/15/2016 c64 50DAve and Bob
Alex's dad was a pretty big bombshell. Actually a lot of interesting things happening in this chapter. I assume Alex is going to be on the sidelines for the next few chapters due to her condition plus this will let some of the other characters to get to be fleshed out with the changed story.

I kind of want to write more, but it seems so many other reviews already covered what I wanted to say it's kind of pointless for me to ramble on.
9/20/2015 c64 Guest
Alex makes some very good points in this chapter. The group has been risking their lives on a daily basis for the people of Auldrant, and yet not only are they unappreciative, they constantly complain, and some even have the gall to blame the cast for what's happening to the world. They're totally ignorant to the fact that they all would have died if the group left the outer lands the way they were, and it's SO irritating because most of them make no effort to understand when the world leaders had to have at least explained enough for them not to be surprised by the lands suddenly lowering.

You're also right in saying the cities that were hit the hardest by the fall (St. Binah, Engeve, etc) were the most appreciative about what the group did. The cities that basically suffered no losses in comparison were the ones full of whiny bitches criticizing the group's every move. Malkuth was actually pretty good about it compared to Kimlasca, when the former suffered a lot more damages.

I'm more surprised Alex (or any of the other characters) didn't get sick of their attitudes sooner. I would be pissed too if I nearly died for a cause just to hear people criticizing it constantly. Even before the miasma reappeared most of them were complaining.

Kudos to you for hitting that nail on the head. Keep up the good work.
9/19/2015 c64 Guest
Great chapter! The end was a surprise. Looking forward to what happens with Arietta. Can't wait until the next chapter. Update again soon!
9/14/2015 c64 kingsherbert
Great chapter as always, worth the wait. The fact that you've been working on this for five years shows dedication.
Where you left the chapter was quite cruel, though. Alex's departure seems to have been poorly timed, I wonder how she'll react when she hears she still has family that are alive other than Isabell. I'm looking forward to learning more about her family, and definitely excited to see what happens with Arietta considering Ion's still alive here.
9/14/2015 c64 1RKamelot
Yay! Another chapter! As usual, this is a review from two people who share this account, first is RK's review! Here ya go:

Ah the dilemma that is splitting people up! Gotta hate that, but it does give the group something to talk about that helps lead up into the conversation about Arietta again. I really have to feel for Ion, he really does try his best to get the others to explain the situation to the girl.

Is it sad that I got amused when Jade barged in on Guy and Alex? I mean I know it was because he needed to talk and that nothing was going on except talking, but I had to laugh! Ahem, but that conversation was really deep. It was very interesting to get into Alex’s head like that, even if it didn’t completely sound like her? But yeah, poor Alex, she actually did die and yet people kept complaining about how life wasn’t fair and was hard on them, it’s kind of maddening when you get down to it…

Dun dun duuuuun! Finally it’s come out completely into the open! It was still a shock to me when I read it last chapter and getting into it this chapter isn’t any different! Having the curse slot aspect really adds and interesting twist on what is going on in their lives (even though it really sucks for Alex!) especially since now we have an added reason to want to find Dist and/or Sync to get it out of Alex’s mind.

She even handled it well, which I would’ve thought she’d panic a bit more, though then again she has been getting used to dealing with out of the blue situations so I guess she handled it well!
Awww! She told him anyway! YES! I was happy when she told him, since she hates keeping secrets! Also thought Guy was very mature when he handled it as well!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! YES! FINALLY THE HUG! And right in front of some of his soldiers too! Worth the wait! So happy, and so glad that Jade hugged her back!

Naturally, true to Jade’s form he still managed to make it so that he wasn’t the one explaining! Lol!

Ugh…. Cameron is joining the New Order!? Why?! That’s annoying! Oh! But maybe the group can take him down later! That’d be awesome!

…Wait what?!...

ALEX HAS AN UNCLE!? Did NOT see that coming! Where’s he been this whole time?! And why didn’t he try and look for Alex or Isabel!? So many questions and now we must wait, not cool!
On another note, amazing chapter! Well worth the wait~!

Gotta admit, when RK told me there was a new chapter I asked her if she was messing with me. But since she was bouncing off the walls, I guess I had to believe her. Happy to read another of your chapters, so here is my review:

My first interest, is Alex’s internal debate about the duel. Like she mentions, there isn’t a real reason for this duel yet none of the others are trying to talk Anise out if it. I really like that she is not wanting to duel Arietta while at the same time wanting to back Anise up. It really shows how she’s come to like each of the members of the group, even if Anise had a part with her “death” because of them kidnapping Ion and Anise’s parents. Also, adding in Alex’s situation, which isn’t entirely the same, was very interesting since she can actually add that now that she knew she was able to make her own choices about her life. It’s all very questioning, especially when Alex does have a slight point that one should be able to decide their own life with all the information they have.

I’m amused. I wasn’t sure how you were going to keep Tear as part of the group since it’s clear she’s at a disadvantage but having her use the fact that the miasma is everywhere was actually kinda smart of her, since she would be able to work well with the group even with the poison in her body. Ion though, seems like he wishes he would be able to help her at the moment, even knowing he can’t yet.

I really like Alex’s thoughts when she’s talking with Guy. Even though they seem to be a bit non-Alex (thank you curse slot?) it just shows how the world has gone to hell. People can’t stand change and they start complaining about it which isn’t fair to the group, who like you said, has time and again put their lives on the line to protect the ungrateful bastards who are being pests to them now. In fact, I believe that it was mostly people who were from other cities that became the most annoying, the people from Engave and St. Binah both thanked the group so she does have a point on that. In the end people are just ungrateful…

On the other hand, I get the feeling this isn’t Alex talking, since she’s normally one for helping people without complaining too much about it so I guess I can’t be happy about her thinking. Jade walking in on them is also amusing, since he managed to cut Guy off when I really wanted to know what the blond would say.

It is amusing that Alex considers Jade to be a friend, I would think he would be considered the sarcastic uncle at this point but that works as well. Especially when she threatened him harm. Glad to know Ion can get to the point when asked to, so we can get to see Alex’s reaction faster.

Her reaction was much calmer than I imagined it’d be. Not that that’s a bad thing, I just thought she might try and deny it a bit more. So the fact that she’s so calm about it either means she’s matured a bit more or the curse slot has helped her mellow out a little.

Finally someone said it! I’m proud of Alex getting Jade to explain his reasons for withholding stuff. Yes, Jade usually has reasons for things but I’m glad that Alex called him out on this one. It was a legitimate excuse, naturally that Alex ignored, which I found to be amusing as well.

I will give her a massive amount of props for handling it the way that she did though. It would really suck for someone to have to leave their group of friends like she did when her two soldier friends came to get her. I enjoyed reading about the hug (which RK wouldn’t shut up about once she realized I read it. She was happy about it and loved that Jade slightly returned the hug). The good deeds made my night though, since I remember Jade saying that line!

Oh dear lord, so Cameron has made an appearance just so that we know he’s joining the New Order? Why couldn’t he have made an appearance in jail or something? I really can’t wait until he gets his true comeuppance for being the dickwad that he is. Especially with the way that he acts in this chapter! Seriously, if there is a way, I’d jump into your fic just to either punch the guy’s lights out or kick him in his balls! Maybe both! He definitely needs it! Now I can’t wait for Alex to get better so she can come in and defeat his ass later on!

My first thought on the last bit was likely what other people (including Guy) thought. I immediately assumed (which is bad since it makes an ass out of you and me) that it was a replica of her father. Now I’m definitely intrigued since I hadn’t seen this coming. I don’t recall Isabel mentioning anything about an Uncle and Alex likely wouldn’t remember so this is a surprise. I’m massively interested in where this might be going. But hey! Depending on how this new news and possible relationship works out, Alex could have her uncle escort her down the isle when Guy gets up the courage to ask her hand!

All in all, it was an informative and surprising chapter. I really can’t wait to find out more about the Uncle and to find out why he’s in Engave and what he’s done for all these years. I also look forward to how you end up doing the duel between Arietta and Anise. Good chapter and look forward to more.
9/14/2015 c64 6Riku Uzumaki
Well... I didn't expect that little twist at the ending.
9/13/2015 c64 invadergirl1998
Yaaay! It's been so long I thought this story was abandoned. I thought this was a great chapter but why would you end it there?! Please update soon! I need to know what happens next!
4/27/2015 c63 1RKamelot
Sorry for the late review! Life has been getting in the way, anyway, here's RK's portion of the review:

Man Jade, stop being so harsh on yourself! It kinda is sad that he keeps downing himself about the replicas because he created the technology but at the same time, if he hadn’t then a lot of good wouldn’t have happened either (Luke, Ion etc.)
Although it is interesting to see that he is trying to cover a few things from the others because he doesn’t want them to feel bad. Of course then we have some of the replicas mentioning that fomicry shouldn’t be created.
Gotta say, I keep forgetting that Ion wasn’t around in the game, since you keep adding him in places that helps to make it flow. His thoughts on the replicas are sweet and then his sorrow about not being able to use his Seventh Fonon abilities to do crowd control is very touching. Still really curious about what you’re planning to do with Ion, though hopefully it’ll come up soon!
I almost want to argue with Jade about leaving Tear behind but he really does have a point, she shouldn’t be stressing herself out so much that it’ll kill her though I don’t know whether or not the idea to leave her behind is a good one. Especially since Ion might still be planning on taking the miasma away?
But I kinda want to disagree with Ion. While it would be nice for Arietta to catch a break, I just can’t see her willingly leaving the God Generals and becoming one of the good guys if he tells her the truth. Like most people, I believe that if she learns the truth then it’ll be too much on her and she won’t want to live how she’s been living. And that in itself would be cruel, telling her that her most cherished person was replicated and then having to kill her is just wrong…..
I actually didn’t see the whole curse slot thing coming. Well I did but at the same time it wasn’t very strong in my mind. It brings up the question on what exactly Sync/Dist did to Alex. I’m a little concerned about this now, even more than I had been before. This is not likely to end well for Alex….
Gotta say, when Isabel is talking with Largo, she does have a point. Both with him actually caring about Natalia as well as mentioning that Van should’ve attempted to offer Natalia sanctuary on the New Hod. Love Isabel and her brilliance; though wish she would stay with Alex, especially with all the things going on. But I guess she’s leaving again because she wants to help Alex, grr.

Awesome chapter! Worth the wait, and the constant bugging I possibly did for you.
Also, congrats on the 400,000 word mark!

With RK's review over, I'll go ahead and give mine, here is Mara's review:

Your writing just gets better and better with time. The way that you get Jade down is very nice and I find it easy to see how he would be thinking during these situations due to you. I can agree to his hesitation about seeing the good that has come from his creation of fomicry.

The Arietta portion of the chapter makes you want to think a lot as well. On one hand it might be beneficial for the group to tell the girl yet I can’t help but think that it would come back to bite them in the butt if they were to tell her the truth. The original Ion was her everything so I really can’t see her taking it well. Plus I would feel bad for Anise no matter what since it’ll be hard on her to take that on herself since she barely is a teenager and she’s already had to go through a lot of hardships. Good way of bringing all of this out during the chapter.

I really like what you’ve done to Alex, and am rather surprised that I was rather close with my guessing about what’s causing that. I believe the only reason I didn’t immediately assume it was a curse slot was due to the fact that I hadn’t been sure Sync had infiltrated the labs at the same time as Dist, though all of the dialogue between him and Alex while in Keterberg is suddenly making more sense. The thought that Dist could make something has dangerous as a curse slot even more disastrous is very interesting and I can’t wait to see how you’re going to spin that. Good job building up the suspense on it as well, I was left guessing almost until it was finally revealed, which is something I love when reading. It also begs the question about what Ion might be able to do about it and whether or not they’re going to be able to get her out of it without forever damaging her. Plus I can’t wait to see what Guy would think about this, especially since he had been under one as well. At least they’ll have something to bond over once it’s done.

The Isabel scene is interesting as well, I enjoy the little things you added, like mentioning that she had never been into her father’s study yet Alex had, it shows good character building for her and the little time that she did spend with Alex was touching as well, and I hope she might be able to find something to help her sister.
4/27/2015 c63 invadergirl1998
I never would have guessed that was what was happening to her! I can't wait to see where you go with it. :)
I really liked the convo with Isabell and Largo, I wonder if that'll do anything to change what happens to him.
4/23/2015 c63 WithoutFortune
Whoo! Love these long, lengthy chapters. They make it worth the wait for sure :D Although when they mention Moh's mind deteriorating because of the Seventh Fonon, I couldn't help but wonder if his mind was stable to begin with. D:

Either way, that ending makes me excited for the next chapter. Lots to look forward to! Can't wait! :)
4/22/2015 c63 8RubyMoonz
Yeah, you better thank me yo. Had to get your butt into gear. B(

Anyway, one of your 'shorter' chapters, but that didn't take away from it any. In fact, I'm pretty sure it leaves everyone wanting to know more and see what happen. Anyway, I really dig the idea that you had for why Mohs's voice could carry and like i keep forgetting that Ion isn't suppose to actually be there. It's kind of weird to imagine, to be perfectly honest.

I wouldn't have minded to see what was going on with Guy, Alex, Luke, and Tear side, but yeah. Can I also mention that you write Jade really well. He's never really out of character, not that I've ever noticed. I'm not sure, you just write him really well and that's what makes reading his POV in certain chapters really great.

Also...dat curse mark which isn't like a normal curse mark but still a curse mark in a sense.

And as always, we get to Isabell's bit. You already know how much I love her, but I'm not sure what it is. I just want the best for her. Anyway, I really like her talk with Largo. You can see that he is conflict, but you can also see Isabell is as well because she should be around Alex.


I am looking forward to the next chapter!
4/21/2015 c63 6Riku Uzumaki
Considering the new information that has presented itself, it looks like Dist and Sync have used a modified Curse Slot to turn Alex into a Manchurian Agent (TvTropes) to do SOMETHING. No idea what that something is, though, but even then that's only if Jade's guess is correct... and his guesses usually are...
Why do I get the feeling that Sync is going to force Alex to do something that will permanently traumatize her (possibly by killing or almost killing someone she cares about)?
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