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7/22/2014 c2 25CloudSkylark18
what is this all about? i'm so confused.
1/5/2013 c2 49Ender The Time Lady
Alright, several things to criticise:
1. This doesn't have any plot, or humor. It's just random whatnot.
2. NEW LINES MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU USE THEM? Seriously, start a new line every once in a while. Big walls of text are hard to read, and sort of induce headaches.
3. Spelling. You repeatedly misspelled characters names (A.E "Murtogh" instead of Murtagh.)
4. Grammar. You need to use comma's occasionaly, to prevent run-on scentances. Or you could just flat out start a new one. Either goes.
5. Finally, capatalization. Countries and names all need to be capatalized, and you missed that repeatedly.
Other than that, it's a pretty decent story.
Ender the Time Lady (Maybe I should change Time Lady to Grammar Nazi.)
3/8/2011 c2 georgster101
This coulda been better as a team war on a debate site-that way both sides could try to counter the other's strategies. It's still good though! (^_^)
1/22/2011 c1 A Midsummer Night's Dreams
I laughed at the stupid acronym of the villains.
9/27/2010 c2 16Basic-bookworm
lol. That was very... tactical. Wow. AWESOME thingy. But in this just about everything goes acording to plan! Someone should get bumped off (or several someones) to make it more realistic.

Just sayin'

9/27/2010 c1 Basic-bookworm
Oh my god, I love you.


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