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9/5/2011 c8 6Gabi2305
Eventually, I started this story which has been on my to read list for ages. I was planning on reading the first one or two chapters but suddenly I noticed that I had lost every sense of time and had read 8 chapters in one go.

I'm already in love with this story. Your original characters are very good (although I don't like the name Annabel, but that's not your fault, lol). I like this twin thing between Annabel and Grey. I wonder what happened to the plane's pilot, as he seemed to be a friend of Annabel's team. But I guess I'll find out when I have time to read the next chapters.

I miss Deeks a bit, but it's great to have a bit of Abby and Gibbs in the story.

I'm looking forward to another almost 70 chapters of pure fun.

Thank you!
7/16/2011 c77 NCIS Fan
I feel that a well rounded critique includes both the good as well as the areas for improvement. That being said, I would like to first say that your storylines are clever and out of the norm of what is usually written in fan fiction. However, I’m consistently thrown out of the story (not what a writer wants) by the overuse of the word ‘whilst’. I can see using this word when the character point of view is snooty, but not at any other time or so often. The same goes for the word ‘amongst’. These words are generally a big no no in writing. ‘While’ and ‘Among’ work just fine and are more fitting to the characterizations you are working with.

I look forward to seeing more NCIS Los Angeles stories from you, especially if they are Callen centric, my personal fav.
7/13/2011 c77 4EmmyMK
Ok, so I finally got around to finishing reading this! Loved how you wrapped everything up with Kensi and Marcus getting married, and Annabel pregnant again. (Gotta ask, did you know when you wrote this?) Really, really well done!
5/15/2011 c77 7sorree
Congratz on this wonderful story. The ending perfectly matches the rest of the story. Normally I don't like to read happily ever after, but hey, your writing made me stick till the end...

Thanks for sharing I hope to read some more of your stories soon...

5/14/2011 c77 lsaeire
Wow that was an amazing end. Don't want it to end though
5/13/2011 c77 fantasyinmymind
Well - it's done at a good spot but at the same time I don't want it to be done. Good job!
5/13/2011 c77 31TwilightPony21
Aw, I had a feeling that you might write Kensi and Marcus's wedding. I love that Sam walked her down the aisle - although I think maybe Callen should have, too, after all of his helpful relationship advice. :)

I just love the way you wrote Kensi and Hetty: "Considering who you are surrounded by today, I do not think you need to worry. We certainly have the necessary number of bodyguards to take down anyone who would try and steal it from you. That is, if you don't do that yourself."

I'm sure Kensi could take down anyone even in her wedding dress!

And this was really nice and sounded so much like Hetty: "Hetty, I can do this right? Be who Marcus needs?" Kensi asked. Hetty stepped closer and took Kensi's hands in hers. She looked up at the nervous bride and smiled. "You can be you. That is all he needs."

What a wonderful romantic adventure story you have written from the start to the finish. As I said before, you have really created an amazing world from giving Callen his family back to having him start one of his own - with all of the other characters along the way! Congratulations on the completion!
5/13/2011 c77 always.theheartbeat
Hah! Sneaky Annabel. I like how she sprung that on him, it was great.

I'll admit, I got a little tense, or whatever, when I figured out this was a wedding chapter, cause like I said, sometimes I have problems with those, but it was all good, so no worries. I really liked this one, too. So awesome job!

And wow! It's the end, huh? How strange to think I won't see this updated anymore. It's weird! But in a good way, so amazing awesome job! Honestly, this was a GREAT read. Like, to see how far you've taken it, y'know? It went from them being in danger to them married with a bigger family than before. It's just awesome. :D I love it.

Very great job, I hope you know. You got skill!
5/13/2011 c77 472Angel N Darkness
you did a great job on this chapter... love it... update soon...
5/13/2011 c77 3alix33
"lying nestled on a bed of black velvet was a gorgeous diamond necklace. Kensi didn't even want to think about how many carats were on it. "Hetty I couldn't. It must be worth a fortune." "My dear, it is only worth a fortune if I wish to sell it, which I don't," she assured Kensi." - Hehehe.

"Annabel came over to her and smiled. "Nervous?" she asked quietly. Kensi nodded. "Like you wouldn't believe." Annabel winked and leant close. "So is Marcus," she told her. Kensi wasn't quite sure why, but that made her feel so much better. "Why is he nervous?" she asked. "Because all men are," Hetty answered. "They worry, standing out there in full view of everyone, waiting patiently for their bride to come to them. Whilst the bride gets to hide her nerves tucked away in a room, the groom has to stand out there for the world to see and hope that she actually shows up." - I have never thought of bridegrooms that way, hehehe.

"Hetty nodded. "Very well. I will go take my place with those ragamuffins you call family and make sure they behave themselves." Annabel smiled. "My boys always behave." Hetty looked at Annabel for a moment not even trying to hide the smirk that formed on her face. "When you are looking perhaps," she said before she left the room." - Hehehe at the thought of the antics of G Callen and his sidekick, little Tommy Callen.

"Callen let out a small sigh of relief. Hetty looked sideways at him suspiciously. "Did you doubt her G?" she asked quietly, under the guise of tickling Tommy, who squirmed and wriggled until he was released down to his Grandma H. "Not her, Hetty. Just hoping that nothing crazy happened to spoil this for her." "As if I would have allowed that," Hetty stated firmly. "Would I Tommy? Would I let anything spoil this perfect day for your Aunty Kensi and Uncle Marcus?" Tommy grinned at Hetty and Hetty smiled back. "Take some advice from your son, G. Trust me. Today is perfect." - AW!

"Annabel smiled. "So have my boys been behaving?" she asked. Tommy giggled when she tickled him under the chin. "We always behave," Callen replied. Annabel glanced at him with a suspicious look on her face. "That's not what Hetty tells me." Callen tugged her close. "Hetty doesn't know when I don't behave, unless you've told her." - Hehehe.

"They glanced around for Tommy and both smiled to see him asleep in the safety of Sam's arms. Even though Tommy wasn't small, (he was above average in length at least), being held by the giant that was Sam still made him seem tiny. "Sam's enjoying playing uncle isn't he?" Annabel said" - AW!

Yay! for little Sammy Callen, anyway.
5/13/2011 c77 Skyler1510
awwww so cute im sad to see it end
5/13/2011 c77 vertigirl
owwww i'm really happy for kensi and marcus! and G and annabel are going to become parents again :) as you said "today is perfect": a very good way to end this story.

even though it makes me sad to read that word up there...complete...i know it was time to end it: everything was perfect and you ended it in the very best possible way!

now i can't wait to read your next story! do you think you'll write a sequel in the future?

5/11/2011 c76 31TwilightPony21
Finally catching up on some reading again! Real life has been so busy – barely had time for anything. Glad to have a chance to do a little bit of fanfic reading – although will probably need a lot more time to catch up!

I loved these lines with Kensi and Marcus:

"But you don't want to marry me." "I do. I'm just scared.” "Of what?"

"I'm sorry I rushed you. I still want to marry you. I still love you so much Kensi Blye, but if this isn't for you, then I'll take you any way you can handle. Please don't let me have ruined this relationship.”

Just really sounds like Kensi and a conversation she might have. And I like the way you have created Marcus for her and how he reacts to her. The same way you have done a great job of creating the character of Annabel and how she reacts to her fear of having another child end up like Zoe. Not sure if this is the right way to explain it, but it just makes your OCs seem so real mixed into the lives of the NCIS: Los Angeles characters.

Also loved that the first thing Hetty did was call Gibbs!

Wonderful job – can’t believe there is only one more chapter to go! Can’t wait to see how you end it!
5/9/2011 c76 3alix33
"The other's seem a bit too grown up." - "The others".

I am a bit sad for Sam that he was not included in the bump's name.

"It was only when Hetty hugged him and held out the phone that he realised she'd been calling Gibbs and still had him on the line." - AW!

"Sam were quite comfortable holding Tommy. With Sam though Tommy looked a lot smaller than he really was." - Hehehe.
5/8/2011 c76 Skyler1510
awwww the baby is finally here :]
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