8/2/2014 c1 anime-teddy-bear
Everyone does such a good job with magnus's character, but yours is one of the best
Everyone does such a good job with magnus's character, but yours is one of the best
1/26/2012 c1 RainbowBrigade
Hey there Alex! Here's Miranda with my words of writing wisdom!
First off, like I said, this is not so bad, considering the fact I am not involved in Mortal Instruments whatsoever. So good job! What I recommend is, first off, reading it over and checking for grammatical errors. Here's an example of one:
"I ran past them. Turning the next corner before either of them could respond."
That's a fragment, my dear. Now don't feel bad about that! All writers occasionally have these issues. There are issues with uses of commas. Here's one:
"I personally, think that they screwed up."
My advice to you is this: When you are writing, read your writing out loud to yourself before you keep it in. If it sounds awkward, change it. If it doesn't, keep it in.
Overall, this was pretty OK, except you can always include a bit more detail in how they looked and whatnot.
Keep up the good work!
Hey there Alex! Here's Miranda with my words of writing wisdom!
First off, like I said, this is not so bad, considering the fact I am not involved in Mortal Instruments whatsoever. So good job! What I recommend is, first off, reading it over and checking for grammatical errors. Here's an example of one:
"I ran past them. Turning the next corner before either of them could respond."
That's a fragment, my dear. Now don't feel bad about that! All writers occasionally have these issues. There are issues with uses of commas. Here's one:
"I personally, think that they screwed up."
My advice to you is this: When you are writing, read your writing out loud to yourself before you keep it in. If it sounds awkward, change it. If it doesn't, keep it in.
Overall, this was pretty OK, except you can always include a bit more detail in how they looked and whatnot.
Keep up the good work!
4/23/2011 c8 OoLostGirloO
Well done, i liked it :) so did your dad give you the twenty bucks? i wish i got paid to write fanfic :)
Well done, i liked it :) so did your dad give you the twenty bucks? i wish i got paid to write fanfic :)
3/30/2011 c4 4StarryOwlEyes
I really hope by now that you have the books. Seriously. I have extra copies.
I really hope by now that you have the books. Seriously. I have extra copies.
1/30/2011 c1 8zan11111
It was AWESOME! good job getting and translating all of the emotions he must of felt, are you going to make another?
It was AWESOME! good job getting and translating all of the emotions he must of felt, are you going to make another?
12/9/2010 c8 6CityOfBonesLuver123
Yess Alex pettyfer should be Jace, Adam Lambert should be Magnus, and hayley Williams should, like, quit Paramore and be Clary..red hair.
Also that plot with Magnus being a crime lord sound brilliant
Uhhhmmm what else, besides that was adorable and sweet?You're amazing *goves lots of milky ways*
3,
Smurfie :P
Yess Alex pettyfer should be Jace, Adam Lambert should be Magnus, and hayley Williams should, like, quit Paramore and be Clary..red hair.
Also that plot with Magnus being a crime lord sound brilliant
Uhhhmmm what else, besides that was adorable and sweet?You're amazing *goves lots of milky ways*
3,
Smurfie :P
12/9/2010 c2 CityOfBonesLuver123
I'm only on Chapter 2 but I feel like reviewing already XD This Story=Reeses (I Luuuuve reeses like you looooove milky ways) xD lmao anyway it's brilliant, I thought you did a good job portraying Magnus
I'm only on Chapter 2 but I feel like reviewing already XD This Story=Reeses (I Luuuuve reeses like you looooove milky ways) xD lmao anyway it's brilliant, I thought you did a good job portraying Magnus
11/26/2010 c8 tayl0r
this is so so good! i love both your stories! i reckon you should write a fanfic about the 'punishment' that magnus gave alec ;) hahaha xxxx
this is so so good! i love both your stories! i reckon you should write a fanfic about the 'punishment' that magnus gave alec ;) hahaha xxxx
10/29/2010 c8 drinkingtea
Absolutely NOT magnus bane. One, he's freaking white and I'm sick of tired of seeing shit Caucasian actors on screen based on hollywoods petty prejudices. Two, magnus bane is half asian. Therefore, it's time for a gloriously gorgeous half asian actor to get the spotlight. Not adam lambert, who has a gorgeous face and gorgeous voice, but is too fat for magnus bane and can't act a day in his life.
I'm SICK and tired of seeing "magnus bane actor for movie" = adam lambert, a jewish kid, or some full asian pop star. *shivers* Magnus is too good for that.
I'm OK with Pettyfer playing Jace, but not too well, on terms of sarcasm.
I think we should go with non-mainstream actors. Unknown. Discover the everyday Jace and everyday Magnus Bane. I just thought that that should be made clear. This story is great, needs a LOT of revising and non-repeats, but nonetheless, an intriguing idea.
Absolutely NOT magnus bane. One, he's freaking white and I'm sick of tired of seeing shit Caucasian actors on screen based on hollywoods petty prejudices. Two, magnus bane is half asian. Therefore, it's time for a gloriously gorgeous half asian actor to get the spotlight. Not adam lambert, who has a gorgeous face and gorgeous voice, but is too fat for magnus bane and can't act a day in his life.
I'm SICK and tired of seeing "magnus bane actor for movie" = adam lambert, a jewish kid, or some full asian pop star. *shivers* Magnus is too good for that.
I'm OK with Pettyfer playing Jace, but not too well, on terms of sarcasm.
I think we should go with non-mainstream actors. Unknown. Discover the everyday Jace and everyday Magnus Bane. I just thought that that should be made clear. This story is great, needs a LOT of revising and non-repeats, but nonetheless, an intriguing idea.
10/11/2010 c8 YurieOfTheLair
Aww too bad it's the end, I would've loved to read more .. But I understand your reason, and I'll just check out your other stories :D
Aww too bad it's the end, I would've loved to read more .. But I understand your reason, and I'll just check out your other stories :D
10/3/2010 c8 Diligent Fingers17
Awww, I love Malec! 3
Hahahah, I guess Magnus was quite tough if Alec was THAT sore after his 'punishment' - which I kinda think he enjoyed xD
Right? ^_^
Awww, I love Malec! 3
Hahahah, I guess Magnus was quite tough if Alec was THAT sore after his 'punishment' - which I kinda think he enjoyed xD
Right? ^_^
10/2/2010 c8 resplendentgertrude
I think Alex Pettyfer should be Jace and Shannon Kook-Chun should be Magnus. :D And I liked your chapter. :D
I think Alex Pettyfer should be Jace and Shannon Kook-Chun should be Magnus. :D And I liked your chapter. :D