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for Harry Potter and the Rejected Path

1/15 c33 babiluv22
Plz Plz Update This Story Soon
1/12 c15 itioministralis
Oof...this whole story is one biiiig raw bashing. I absolutely hate bashing. It is childish and adds nothing to the story. In fact, there is no story at all! It is just one big bashing of all characters. Harry just is just stood there, talking for 2 hours to each character of every instance of how they wronged him. And the characters just stand there... listening... Oof
12/15/2020 c30 cenies
you could have used Hermione's second name (Jane) for the other one... Since they are not exactly split.
12/12/2020 c29 Armiture
IIRC Aragog died during the sixth year and Harry was able to get Sluggy to cooperate by giving him Aragog's venom. By inviting him to the burial Hagrid performed; now that will not happen with Aragog feeling so much better; thanks to Tracy. Well, it was actually done by Harry but it was Tracy's blood that did the trick.
11/30/2020 c33 6brasheril-holmestalentsmaster
Feedback time!

I'll be honest, this is story is really good, perhaps, great even. And I really liked reading it.

I'll also admit that if it was a few years ago I probably wouldn't have it made past chapter 4, mostly because I simply wasn't mature enough at the time to be able to read the story with a level head. Also because this AU is really... dark (no, I don't think this is the appropriate word), oh yeah, twisted (I think this would be more fitting).

However, there was another factor which contributed to that, which is: stories with sex as one of its primary components often are generally lacking, because to fit the smut in, the author adapts the whole story to its lemons, instead of ding the right thing, that is, modifying such scenes to fit the story.

But onto the core of the review.

When I read the first chapters I thought Harry would go through with his threat of leaving Britain, heck I was hoping for it, it would have been awesome to have an in-depth story of Harry travelling around and having adventure after adventure. So I was REALLY disappointed when it didn't happen. I almost dropped the story, due to being 'given false hope' lol, but I soldiered on and found myself intrigued by this world you made.

I loved how you used and developed rarely seen characters, even giving common characters a complete twist. The use of OCs is also really good.

The characterization, background, depth, self-development, backstory and individual growth of them are outstanding, even as some of it is outlandish. However, I will admit, that some of the characters' hard past seem to be so, just for shock value.

The dialogue and interactions are very good too.

Grammar, ortography and punctuation are topnotch. Same with structure of line and paragraph.

Plot is quite good and it starts of well, however, between chapters 10 and 20 its speed seems to slow down to almost a crawl and it's frustrating. Events just don't seem to be happening and circumstances which were ready (seemingly) to be delivered are held back or simply not started. Because of this the narrative takes a big hit, as the story just doesn't seem to develop and advance for the added smut.

Descriptions are spot on, not too long nor too short, not too complex nor too simple. Perfectly balanced.

The political talks, machinations, schemes and plans are really well thought out. However, the chapters have all a little too much of exposition in them (especially heavy and frequent in regards to lineages).

The scenes with Colin are dealt with in a tasteful manner, one not enough to turn off readers of your story. (I would know as I don't really enjoy slash, but this was tolerable I guess).

I REALLY didn't like Harry taking it in the ass. (I don't know, somehow, it just screams 'lost respect' for me.)

About the 'date rape' aura, such description I really disagree with, given what's in the story. I don't think it would be weird to liken it to the Veela's allure or simply the pheromones of the animal kingdom, it's something 'natural' as you wrote yourself that all of the magicals have an aura, the only difference is it's intensity, it should not be distinct from any other mate-seeking resource (ex: beauty), especially since both emissor and receptor are affected by it. If anything, I would liken it the most to alcohol on parties.

Would two people, both drunk as hell, be taking advantage of one another (raping) if they coupled? Food for thought...

The kill count here is really high, I don't think I've seen a long story like this here in this fandom with so many murders. Same for the extended Hallows and the Tom wand. Props for being the first and for doing it in style.

The part with the Fae and Samuel I think is unnecessary (even if I think Luna would make a great one - my headcanon is that she has nymph, fairy and/or fae blood).

You could have easily finished the story on this chapter or in perhaps another two, there was no need to extend it, the story is already a good length, now it feels like beating a dead horse. The only thing that was left (in my opinion) to finish this is taking down the remaining Death Eaters, Albus & company and overthrowing the Ministry.

Overall, this story is at least a solid 8 out of 10, with most parts easily rating 9 in my opinion.

I hope I helped with constructive criticism.
Over and out.
11/20/2020 c7 Karazik
There is barely a story in this garbage heap of a story. Definitely the wrong site to post this. 3 out of 10. Would not recommend
11/18/2020 c28 Boomshanka
Hahaha... cheapest one-shot-KO for the inbred idiot!
11/18/2020 c21 Boomshanka
18 degree centigrade drop is 32.4 fahrenheit drop...
11/18/2020 c19 Boomshanka
Finally!
I've read too many "forgiving" Harry fanfics ...love this one!

FUCK SNIVELLIOUS WITH A SPIKED BAT!
11/1/2020 c3 3This-Mickey-Seems-Iffy
You turned luna into a whore and probably going to pair her with Harry. Yeah, I won't read this trash fic.
10/17/2020 c22 Guest
The dark mark i assume works similar to a coven, except its a one way power transfer i assume
10/12/2020 c33 17Ar-Kaos
a sudden, story -breaking right turn, within a few chapters of the end, new elements of godlike power...

yeah, you were doing pretty well up to this last chapter. Don't think the luna thing works, don't think i can understand your hermione shift either, but Lillith was a great OC and Katie was really well written.

thanks for sharing the good parts, they were fun
10/5/2020 c1 Glmo11
so you just made harry to become riddle?
10/5/2020 c33 frankiebayer2002
Plz update soon
10/4/2020 c23 frankiebayer2002
Plz update soon
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