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for Harry Potter and the Rejected Path

10/17/2020 c22 Guest
The dark mark i assume works similar to a coven, except its a one way power transfer i assume
10/12/2020 c33 17Ar-Kaos
a sudden, story -breaking right turn, within a few chapters of the end, new elements of godlike power...

yeah, you were doing pretty well up to this last chapter. Don't think the luna thing works, don't think i can understand your hermione shift either, but Lillith was a great OC and Katie was really well written.

thanks for sharing the good parts, they were fun
10/5/2020 c1 Glmo11
so you just made harry to become riddle?
10/5/2020 c33 frankiebayer2002
Plz update soon
10/4/2020 c23 frankiebayer2002
Plz update soon
9/26/2020 c3 dkainallen
wow so like all the witches are whore and everyone being whired out
9/20/2020 c8 deckman1234
I am greatly enjoying this tale. Thanks for giving me entertainment for quite a while. Cheers :)
PS- C.S Lewis is English not American
9/15/2020 c33 mattemo153
I tried to pace this out and i think i did relatively well. I await with baited breathe for more of course. This is sooooo good. Thank you for this.

And I personally think the pegging scene fits unlike others. Luna acts like a counter weight to harry and i think this is shown well in the pegging scene.
9/8/2020 c33 Puff Me
I just spent the last 2-3 days aggressively reading this story. It took up pretty much all my time including some of my time at work. It was extremely good, but holy fuck I’m pissed because I am now hollow. I have nothing outside of this story. I’m like a drug addict who just used up the last of his supply and is now panicking because there’s no more even though I’m still high. Read at your own peril.
9/8/2020 c4 mattemo153
I know i keep saying this is great but i will expand a little on that. I love the notes at the end and the actual latin spells and most if all the date for the chapters. I am so thankful for the dates! Your characters are great and how the story is going. So detailed!
9/7/2020 c1 mattemo153
This looks amazing! Im just going to have to go though most your stories now. Thank you for the time you have out into all of this.
9/5/2020 c33 Astramilitarum
The story is definitely dark overall but that gives it a more realistic feel than most of the fluff that You get to read.

But even after all this time he whole luna basically rapes Harry thing out of nowhere and he just brushes it of kind of makes it incredible jarring to believe in the Romance Aspekt of the story. His reaction was so out of character that it stood out like a bloody tump.
The whole pegging thing, while strange to me doesn't bother me , but the execution does. Everything that came after this point was kind of tasteless to me because it felt like what should have happened was not done.

I really like the story but for me personally it ended the chap. Befor the Rape scene and is just one of the many unfinished works that I like.
I don't want you to change the ch. Or your story, it is yours after all and it is not like everybody has the same problems with it that I do.
Its just thought for the future that the way of execution is sometimes more relevant than the actual act.
8/31/2020 c4 jtwgreen
okay so I don't like putting bad reviews but my God you are putting so much detail into this story that is going nowhere you need to learn to be a little more precise in your storytelling not every issue needs to be explained to the point of exhaustion
8/26/2020 c33 Chris
You sir should be a writer, 5 out of 5 for this one.
There is one issue i have found to do with spelling, most likely you are usung a spell checker, so it wouldn't have caught it but...
A coach is either a person traing a team, or a bus or a type of wagon (1850s), you have used this a lot describing a couch, which is something you sit on in front of the tv.

My 2 cents worth.
8/23/2020 c33 a pair of ragged claws
Hello. I just found this story a few days ago and binge-read the whole thing, so it’s all fresh in my mind, and I’m currently coffee-fueled enough to want to crank out a comprehensive review. I like many of your characters who are purposefully behaving unusually, especially Luna, Katie, the Weasley twins, evil “Grandmum” McGonagall, and Harry himself. I like the idea of an out-of-sync aura, and the resulting sex scenes were a nice accompanying bonus. I often find that harem fics are strung together with eye-rollingly ridiculous male fantasies in which the women’s reactions (physical and emotional) are too bizarre or unrealistic to be hot at all; but somehow this story manages to create a plot that explains away some of the more outlandish aspects of what you deem “Harry/multi,” and the erotic scenes are varied enough to keep things interesting.

You are probably tired of reading reviews about this, but the Harry/Luna pegging scene was emotionally uncomfortable for me—not because the act itself bothers me (it would have been super hot under different circumstances), but because it was forced on Harry and, as he said, there was definitely a strong sense of betrayal with Luna taking him down by cursing him in his back. Given your framing of Harry’s character throughout the story, I would have expected him to have a stronger and much more negative reaction that would result in some temporary estrangement between Harry, Luna, and Tonks. Early in this story, you yourself pointed out that you believed it was quite realistic for Harry to have an extremely cynical view about apparently losing his friends, because his childhood abuse would make it likely for him to have serious trust issues and to come to believe that any good thing in life will be eventually taken away or used to hurt him. I agree. That’s why I think what Luna and Tonks did would have snagged many psychological tripwires for Harry, and that should have sparked a bigger reaction than a gentle one-sentence reminder that betrayal is an especially fraught feeling for Harry. Yes, it’s probably true that he needed a lesson in being overconfident, and it makes sense that some of the women involved with him might want to make an impression on him about the times he has gone too far, but I really baulk at the implied premise that rape is a good way to teach someone a little humility. I would expect that plan to seriously backfire, doubly so when considering the hint that Tom was raped by an older kid at the orphanage, and Harry is the one who absorbed that part of his soul. Maybe I am just oversensitive about this issue or maybe I have done way too much research about the effects of child abuse, but I wanted to explain that there are logical reasons to critique that scene—reasons that have nothing to do with prudish sensibilities.

One of the aspects of this story that I am most excited to see play out is the diabolical pregnancy plot—I can’t wait to see how many babies will be born in July–December 1997 and how the rest of the wizarding world will react. I have seen harem stories in which Harry fathers about 15 children, but I haven’t yet read one with this dark idea to create as many babies as possible, many of them with mothers who will be surprised. It may seem hypocritical of me to critique the Harry-rape above but be morbidly excited about this other type of quasi non-con sexual activity, but my criticism above has more to do with what seemed to me to be the out-of-character nature of Harry’s reaction than to the morality of the act itself. As you’ve said in your A/Ns, this isn’t a fic for those who are easily upset by morally questionable behavior or dub-con sex scenes. So I’m looking forward to seeing how that plotline turns out.

On a random note, I am curious about whether there is more to find out about Hermione’s strange aura, because Luna guessed that the time-turner was a cover-up for other time magic. At first I was sure that there was some weird time magic going on with Harry’s “auragasms,” because the time labels for the day of the Gringotts trip shopping the London battle range over Sept 27, 28, and 29 (e.g. apparently 24 hours pass from the time Harry gets his first blow job from Lilleth and the time they exit the shop to go to dinner, but the characters don’t seem aware of the lapse). I thought it might have been an error, but your A/N insists that we need to pay attention to the time labels and that they’re there for a reason. Nothing has come of this yet, though, so I may be off on the wrong track.

Even though I’m intrigued by much of this story, it lost a lot of its grip on me with the big reveal about Samael. After reading your first A/N warning that this is a “Scooby Doo type of story” that doesn’t fully make sense until some major plot twist at the end, I was wary and considered not reading at all. Overall, I’m glad I did read. However, the whole demons-and-gods-and-faeries thing just felt like i was suddenly reading a random crossover fic without having been exposed to the crossover universe. You say that many of the elements in that scene come from your other fics, so maybe it felt more natural to you (or to readers who have read your other stories) because you have been working on those stories/characters for years. For me, though, the entire thing felt abrupt and jarring, and not in an exciting way—à la the “folie adieu” mentioned in one of your epigrams as a classic mistake in novel writing...which is also, of course, a clever little play on words with “folie à deux,” which could be strangely fitting for your reveal-scene in a few different ways... In retrospect, I can identify a few hints that may help prepare readers for this crazy twist, such as when we get the info very early on that there are likely other universes or planes of existence that have “roads” that are now difficult to cross, the plotline about the breeding program, and little things like the family magics seeming to have a sentient influence on Harry. But there wasn’t nearly enough foreshadowing or other clues that Harry might be playing host to an ancient god from another universe, not to mention the whole backstory of that god.

If you are planning to include more “big reveals,” I hope you will prepare readers more thoroughly with a more extensive series of subtle hints and possibly a more gradual set of revelations instead of dropping one bomb-like package with a bundle of assorted surprises. I understand that you may have been trying to have readers share in Harry and Luna’s shock as they had the foundations of their world shattered, which is a brilliant idea if the story’s lattice can support it, but for me it didn’t work here. Perceptive and vigilant readers need to be rewarded: there need to be enough clues that those who are really paying attention can get excited about the mysteries in the story and can feel satisfied if they were able to come close to guessing about some of those outcomes. In this most recent chapter, you have a snide A/N in which you discount the negative opinions of those who skimmed your story and were surprised because you say they missed all of the Chekhov’s guns. That is fair, and I understand your frustration with critiques from people who admit they haven’t fully read the story; however, I consider myself an extremely attentive reader (plus, my career revolves around literature, research, and writing), and I say that there simply weren’t enough Chekhovian guns to prepare any reader for the Samael plot twist.

Despite my wariness about chapter 32, I do like this story quite a bit, and I am hoping you’ll continue it soon. I’m really looking forward to seeing what happens with the faux-Voldemort deception, the Dumbledore duel (and, I’m hoping, a subsequent comeuppance for McGonagall), the babies-everywhere! prank, the warnings Samael gave about lurking invisible dangers, and the development of the coven in general. Thank you so much for sharing your writing!
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