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9/13/2014 c8 28venom rules all
Nice
12/26/2011 c8 9Nomad88
Congrats on completing the first volume and I have to say that's a very interesting twist at the end. I don't want to state it in the review and spoil it for other readers but I'm curious to see where you go with this in the new year. Thanks for all of your support on Secret Warrior Spider-man.

Nomad88.
12/26/2011 c8 20MarvelMaster616
Nice chapter, but it was really short and not very detailed. I suggest you make these chapters longer and work on painting a more vivid picture for the readers. Thanks for all your support on X-men Supreme and I hope it continues.

MarvelMaster616
12/26/2011 c8 28Son of Whitebeard
I know this may seem a quick finisher but you will find out what happens possibly Spring 2012.

the reason why I ended it, is that there has been a long hiatus due to college.
12/3/2011 c7 9Nomad88
Well I have to say that this was a very interesting chapter. I really liked the revamped healing factor that you gave Nick Fury, it was very creative, as was your take on Uncle Ben. I've very interested in seeing what other creative things you've got planned for the Spider-Man mythos down the line. I'm also looking forward to your take on the Lizard, should be great. Thanks for all of your support on Secret Warrior: Spider-man.

Nomad88.
10/15/2011 c7 63Rider Paladin
I rather like your interesting twist on Nick Fury's healing factor, and it does unite both the classic and Ultimate incarnations of the character. Of course, the question with Doctor Who-style regeneration is that if he can literally regenerate into a whole new person, who's to say that whole new person will even retain the original gender? Yeah, I'm saying it; you could, at some point, end up with a Nicole or Nicola or Nikki Fury, and that would be damned hilarious yet awesome and maybe sexy to see . . .

I find it interesting that John Jameson is the Thing in your universe, but that Reed's powers seem to be more similar to the leader of Planetary's "Four" as opposed to the classic Fantastic Four version. As for changing Johnny and Sue's last name from Storm to Stromberg, I hope there's some logic behind that change, but I will wait for your explanation.

Also, I like your revamp of Venom as basically a kind of super-soldier modeled after and intended to be an "improvement" on Spider-Man. Wonder how the fight between them is going to turn out and what form Venom might take in your story.
10/15/2011 c7 20MarvelMaster616
Another good chapter. We got to learn a bit more about Connors and his history. I can see you didn't change too much with this, which is refreshing in a ways because he's still Curt Connors. You did something similar with Eddie Bock. The Spider-Man universe is bigger than just Peter Parker so I applaud you taking some time to develop him as well. Peter being sick helped with that I guess. lol It's one of those things you really don't see with a lot of characters in the Marvel universe. They get sick. They need rest. Peter is one of the few that I've seen get sick in both the comics and in other mediums. So I'm glad you captured that. Although I don't think Daredevil helped with his attitude.

One part that was a bit confusing was the transition from Peter's house to SHIELD. I think a scene transition here would have helped because I got somewhat lost here. But the promise of Peter checking in with Professor X certainly adds some more intrigue. I look forward to seeing more. Keep up the good work and I appreciate your support for X-men Supreme.

Regards,

MarvelMaster616
10/15/2011 c7 28Son of Whitebeard
comments and suggestions,will be greatly appericated. If I choose your suggestion you will be credited in the next chapter.
8/30/2011 c6 63Rider Paladin
I promised I'd review last week and I'm reviewing now. I would suppose, ultimately, that this chapter can be summed up as, "Everyone is running their games and double-crossing each other . . . and as always, Peter Parker is going to suffer." Then again, that could also describe a fair number of Spider-Man plots in the actual comics and some of the adaptations, particularly the new movie if the ominous narration at the end of the trailer is anything to go by. And yeah, you were right in terms of shades of gray, but having two men give consent to "fake" their own daughters' kidnapping in the name of forcing Peter to join SHIELD is just beyond the pale.
8/24/2011 c5 7JaredMilne1982
What I really like about this story is your willingness to try new things with the characters. You have a lot of really good ideas, and the story has a lot of potential, particularly in that you're taking it out of the traditional mold people expect from Spider-Man stories.

Unfortunately, the story also really needs an editor. The prose is stilted and awkward, the text is full of spelling mistakes, and people spout off background information and major revelations as if they memorized it. New plot elements are thrown at us one after another, and it's hard for the reader to digest them all.

There's a lot of potential here, but you also need a lot of practice, too.
8/18/2011 c6 20MarvelMaster616
Another good chapter. You've got some mystery, a little action, and Nick Fury being stubborn. I think that covers most of your bases. lol You even had something supernatural in having J. Jonah Jameson commend Peter. I think that's pretty OOC for him. If he's not belittling someone, he's not himself. I'm sure Peter will give him a reason to despise him later. lol Then we get Chameleon and Elekra showing up, thus setting the stage for another fight.

You've got some good ideas here, but I think you need to add more details. These chapters are very short and you don't paint a very vivid picture. It's hard to tell what's going on and what the characters are feeling. I think you need to spend more time on adding more depth to the narrative. Don't be satisfied just having characters talk. Paint a vivid picture for the readers so they can FEEL what's going on. That's what makes good stories great. Until next time, take care and best wishes. And thanks for your support on X-men Supreme.

Regards,

MarvelMaster616
8/18/2011 c6 28Son of Whitebeard
comment on this chapter!

feel to PM any messages, about Incredible Spiderman.

Also in comments suggest what could happen future chapters?
8/13/2011 c5 20MarvelMaster616
Hey there. It's a been a while since I read over this story. I'm glad you updated it. I thought it was pretty good, albeit a bit short. But it still had some nice moments, especially with Peter confronting Nick Fury. He's not the first one to yell at Nick Fury, but I'm pretty sure he won't be the last. I think you gave him plenty of reason to do so and the flashbacks were a nice touch. The only thing I would point out is the punctuation, or lack thereof. You had a lot of run-on sentences and you didn't use commas, periods, or other separators when necessary. That is something I think you should work on with future issues.

Other than that, I'm glad you're still continuing with this story. I encourage you to keep refining it. There's plenty you can do with it so please keep up the good work.

Regards,

MarvelMaster616
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