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8/7/2011 c4 dr100
What I like about this chapter, as with the previous few, is that the action and the drama are played out in different scenerios. So, you have a mini scenerio at 'Shield Base Alpha Omega' and then you take the story elsewhere in another segment, but keeping the story moving so there is always something happening.

I'm enjoying the storytelling, and the plot, and always enjoy the comic book style of narrative at the very end, with a small taster of what to expect in the next chapter. Keep going with it! :)
8/5/2011 c5 LB-Writing
Finally got a chance to review it.

well, not much to say that hasn't been said by others: good premise and ideas, with some interesting changes, but the plot is very jumbled with some things coming out of no where, and dialog could use some work. I'd recomend a Beta reader to help.

Good luck in the future.
8/2/2011 c5 63Rider Paladin
This was an interesting story with a very interesting premise. The Parker family being tied in deeper to the larger mythology of the Marvel Universe is an interesting idea to go with, although I'm not sure how I feel about Uncle Ben being a version of Captain America. Considering you alluded to someone named "Zeke," could he be Ezekiel, the older counterpart to the Spider-Man we're more familiar with today? If so, him being Spider-Man before Peter Parker was would be an interesting twist on the story.

Plus, I see you're using the recent revelation in the Secret Warriors series that HYDRA, A.I.M., and S.H.I.E.L.D. are all different branches of the same organization, which would explain why S.H.I.E.L.D. gets corrupted so often. On the downside, though, I've noticed that the storytelling here is often very disjointed and a lot of elements are introduced with little in the way of foreshadowing or buildup. I do appreciate the breadth and depth of your knowledge of the Marvel universe and its history, but a little greater sense of continuity in your storytelling and the ideas presented would make it flow a lot better. Other than that piece of advice, you've got a good story going so far.
8/2/2011 c5 28Son of Whitebeard
Leave a comment and suggest what happens?
8/2/2011 c4 Son of Whitebeard
comment and rate this new exciting chapter!
12/11/2010 c3 47Wolvmbm
Nice update and intersting choice of allies that Peter has to work with tempoarary to save his friend Harry. :D

Also interesting to see there's a business background in who's can help assist S.H.I.E.L.D first as a sub-plot. :D

Great cliffhanger it going to be interesting to see just how Peter Fares against DD.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great series like this one. :D
11/28/2010 c3 20MarvelMaster616
Nice chapter! In a ways this chapter didn't just feel like a Spider-Man story. It felt like a story encompassing an entire Marvel universe. You brought in SHIELD and even referenced Weapon X! You even managed to bring in the classic dynamic of Peter Parker working with George Stacy. It's just the right mix of classic Spider-Man elements with novel fanfiction elements. Also, nice job with the cliff-hanger at the end! You're keeping readers interested and there's nothing wrong with that. lol

Overall, nice job. The details on certain scenes were a little thin and it moved a bit too fast in some areas, but those are minor criticisms compared to the big picture. I look forward to the next issue and I encourage you to keep up the great work! Until next time, take care and best wishes.

MarvelMaster616
11/28/2010 c3 4NKSCF
I'm not too sure how I feel about the reveal of Harry being related to the Starks, but I'm gonna roll with it.

It's an interesting premise overall and it works that the whole story is in an alternate universe. I look forward to Daredevil in the next chapter.
11/28/2010 c3 dr100
This is getting even more interesing, that last line was good!

I love the names of your locations, - 'Shield base Alpha Omega'. They give the story a very professional feel.

My only suggestion would be a reminder, to add your full stops on the end of each sentence, just to give the reader that pause, then to read on. But I'm enjoying this, and looking forward to Chapter 4!
11/28/2010 c3 28Son of Whitebeard
Comment and rate this new chapter of Incredible Spiderman
11/7/2010 c2 dr100
This is a good story, very deep! I'm liking how it's progressing, and I'm sorry for my late review. I'm looking orward to the next segment, and well done on this chapter!
10/30/2010 c2 47Wolvmbm
A true intesting tale you have created as it feels like a mixture of Ultimate spider-man with a bit of original ideas of your own. :D

Very clever updated indeed as we seem to have an imposter Julian stark on the loose as well as someone after Peter's Uncle Ben. :(

Still great update and I wish to encourage you more upon such a great storyline like this one. :D
10/30/2010 c2 20MarvelMaster616
Another nice chapter! It still felt a bit short, but was plenty engaging! So now Julian Stark is on the loose and he has his sights set on Tony, Norman Osborn, and Peter Parker's family. The guy is nothing if not ambitious! lol Nice twist at the end showing Uncle Ben as a professor undercover. Looks like you're setting up for a big fight! Looking forward to seeing how that pans out! Overall, great job. Like I said earlier, it was still a little short. A few more details here and there could definitely help, but the context of the story is still strong. I look forward to seeing what happens next. Thanks again for your support on my stories! Take care and best wishes.
10/30/2010 c2 28Son of Whitebeard
Here comes the next exciting installment of Incredible Spiderman!
10/19/2010 c1 dr100
Blimey, that was good! I lov yur apoach to story telling. This story of yours do so remind me of both the animated stuff and the comics also.

It's as if the diffrent stages through how and where the story is set are all seerate ut connced frames.

I am of course looking forward to what is to come, and need I go into description and all? It's really very good!
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