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for Incredible Spiderman:

10/18/2010 c1 47Wolvmbm
I must say Nice twist to the overall story of making Norman have a brother who wants him dead. :D

I'm also honored that you asked me to review your little tale, and I'm glad to do so as I can't wait to see what happens when Iron Man and Spider-man team-up to save the day. :D

Please I wish to encourage you upon such good work and keep up the good work upon such a great idea. :D
10/18/2010 c1 20MarvelMaster616
Well you asked me to review your story so here it is! It's off to a decent start. You've set up a few twists by tying the Osborns to Tony Stark. It makes sense that rich men like that would have a few bloodlines connecting them. That has some potential. Plus, Norman Osborn gets captured and gets put into the same room as his estranged half brother. Not a nice set of circumstances, but it's hard to really feel sorry for a guy like him. lol

While it's a good premise, it feels a bit underdeveloped. It doesn't feel like the first chapter to a new AU. The stage has only been partially set. There isn't much development or descriptions. It feels like it was taken from the middle of the series rather than the beginning. If you really want to make this an AU, try setting the stage a bit more. Set up where this is in Peter's life, set up where Norman and Harry are coming from, and where Julian is coming from as well. You've got a good idea here. You just need to develop it.

I'm glad you came to me with this story. I encourage you to develop it further. Thanks again and I hope you continue to support my efforts with X-men Supreme. Best wishes and take care.
10/18/2010 c1 28Son of Whitebeard
Comment on my story
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