for Patriot's Dawn4/6 c1 jennooon
Love your stories! I have an idea i think could work what if at a very young age (when naruto ask hiruzen about his parents and he gets no where) naruto sees the hokage giving missions and clients asking/paying for missions. Naruto gets back home with inu anbu escort. Naruto ask kakashi for a mission paid for in ramen and being the best little (troll kakashi style) brother. If Naruto hires kakashi to find out about his parents? Kakashi goes to his clan compound and get some uzumaki scrolls and hitaki scrolls and secretly trains him?
Love your stories! I have an idea i think could work what if at a very young age (when naruto ask hiruzen about his parents and he gets no where) naruto sees the hokage giving missions and clients asking/paying for missions. Naruto gets back home with inu anbu escort. Naruto ask kakashi for a mission paid for in ramen and being the best little (troll kakashi style) brother. If Naruto hires kakashi to find out about his parents? Kakashi goes to his clan compound and get some uzumaki scrolls and hitaki scrolls and secretly trains him?
3/3 c5 Soraslove
I wonder why asuma hasn't bothered to teach naruto shadow clone yet? It would certainly help in this training.
I wonder why asuma hasn't bothered to teach naruto shadow clone yet? It would certainly help in this training.
1/22 c25 Pat9921
nice story. changing naruto while still keeping his canon personality albeit suppressed while atull making changes to the canon story. the changes are believable enough while entertaining as well. id ont really care for the romance though, it requires more oomph to it and was very bland. ino just changing her goals i can kinda understand when asuma teaches her but little unbelievable as canon asuma is kinda lazy.
i do like that the hypocrisy of the villagers is brought in early as naruto is still a child here and also did not go through the journey with jiraiya making him grow up as just a child not a shinobi or jinchuriki and in canon kishimoto just makes naruto toss aside his hate making him a messiah like figure which i just so much hate. he learns to live with it but we don't really see the hate return. he just treats naruto like a god and not really a human child and i hate that so much. i hope you potray that in your sequel that i am going to go read right now.
i enjoy your fights you really write them good.
nice story. changing naruto while still keeping his canon personality albeit suppressed while atull making changes to the canon story. the changes are believable enough while entertaining as well. id ont really care for the romance though, it requires more oomph to it and was very bland. ino just changing her goals i can kinda understand when asuma teaches her but little unbelievable as canon asuma is kinda lazy.
i do like that the hypocrisy of the villagers is brought in early as naruto is still a child here and also did not go through the journey with jiraiya making him grow up as just a child not a shinobi or jinchuriki and in canon kishimoto just makes naruto toss aside his hate making him a messiah like figure which i just so much hate. he learns to live with it but we don't really see the hate return. he just treats naruto like a god and not really a human child and i hate that so much. i hope you potray that in your sequel that i am going to go read right now.
i enjoy your fights you really write them good.
9/26/2024 c7 
1eo20000
good story so far. good pacing, believable and fun dialogue. but this is where i check out. i forgot why i didn't finish this story the first time so I'm leaving myself a reminder not to bother trying again.
1eo20000good story so far. good pacing, believable and fun dialogue. but this is where i check out. i forgot why i didn't finish this story the first time so I'm leaving myself a reminder not to bother trying again.
9/4/2024 c7 An Than
Why do authors constantly feel the need to insert a relationship into their otherwise good story? I quite literally don't care about Ino and now I'm just gonna skip these scenes.
Why do authors constantly feel the need to insert a relationship into their otherwise good story? I quite literally don't care about Ino and now I'm just gonna skip these scenes.
7/31/2024 c1 Guest
Too many bitches bitchin on'a comsec
Too many bitches bitchin on'a comsec
7/30/2024 c13 Guest
Just dont kill ino plss or I'll snap mass report aint so hard to do
Just dont kill ino plss or I'll snap mass report aint so hard to do
7/21/2024 c2 lukeanimelover
Meh… no… Team Seven is really, really unblalanced. A lasy tachian, a bookworm fangir, and a prodigy uchiha. Not only that, but a soon to be intellegent gathering/ninjutsu specialist, a soon to be Support/Medic Ninja/Genjutsu specialist and a infiltration/Frontal Assault/Ninjutsu/Genjutsu specialist. No, Team Seveb was really unbalanced, i mean, sure, Cannon Team Seven wasnt quite balanced right either, but Shikamaru, Sasuke and Sakura arent what id chose personally. I mean, Sasuke and Naruto dont have to be on a team together but there were still better options, like, Sakura couldve been with Shino and Choki (A potential Intellegance Gathering/Tracking specialist and a Taijutsu/Frontal Assault specialist would go well with a potential support Genjutsu/Medic nin specialist) ive been liking the story so far, but you definately didnt think these teams through enough.
And if you want to know my opinion, then what i wouldve chosen are these.
(I would Switch Shikamarus and Sasukes positions but you obviously dont want Naruto on a team with Sasuke)
Team Seven: Naruto Uzumaki (Potential Frontal Assault/Infiltration. Potential Ninjutsu/Fuinjutsu specialist).
Hinata Hyuga (Potential Tracking/Frontal Assault. Taijutsu/Medic Ninja specialist).
Shikamaru Nara (Potential Information Gathering/Tachtian. Ninjutsu/Trapping Specialist).
Team 8: Sakura Haruno (Potential Tachtian/Infiltration, Genjutsu/Medic Ninja Specialist).
Shino Aburame (Potential Tracking/intellegence, Trapping/Ninjutsu Specialist)
Choji Akimichi (Potential Frontal Assault/Ambush, Taijutsu/Ninjutsu Specialist)
Team 10: Sasuke Uchiha (Potential Frontal Assault/Asassination, Ninjutsu/Genjutsu Specialist)
Kiba Inazuka (Potential Frontal Assault/Tracking, Taijutsu/Traps Specialist)
Ino Yamanaka (Potential Information Gathering/Infiktration, Ninjutsu/Genjutsu Specialist.
This was just roughly 1 minute if thinking if there potential specialitys and dynamik, if you ever make another Naruto fic again, just take what i said into consideration.
Meh… no… Team Seven is really, really unblalanced. A lasy tachian, a bookworm fangir, and a prodigy uchiha. Not only that, but a soon to be intellegent gathering/ninjutsu specialist, a soon to be Support/Medic Ninja/Genjutsu specialist and a infiltration/Frontal Assault/Ninjutsu/Genjutsu specialist. No, Team Seveb was really unbalanced, i mean, sure, Cannon Team Seven wasnt quite balanced right either, but Shikamaru, Sasuke and Sakura arent what id chose personally. I mean, Sasuke and Naruto dont have to be on a team together but there were still better options, like, Sakura couldve been with Shino and Choki (A potential Intellegance Gathering/Tracking specialist and a Taijutsu/Frontal Assault specialist would go well with a potential support Genjutsu/Medic nin specialist) ive been liking the story so far, but you definately didnt think these teams through enough.
And if you want to know my opinion, then what i wouldve chosen are these.
(I would Switch Shikamarus and Sasukes positions but you obviously dont want Naruto on a team with Sasuke)
Team Seven: Naruto Uzumaki (Potential Frontal Assault/Infiltration. Potential Ninjutsu/Fuinjutsu specialist).
Hinata Hyuga (Potential Tracking/Frontal Assault. Taijutsu/Medic Ninja specialist).
Shikamaru Nara (Potential Information Gathering/Tachtian. Ninjutsu/Trapping Specialist).
Team 8: Sakura Haruno (Potential Tachtian/Infiltration, Genjutsu/Medic Ninja Specialist).
Shino Aburame (Potential Tracking/intellegence, Trapping/Ninjutsu Specialist)
Choji Akimichi (Potential Frontal Assault/Ambush, Taijutsu/Ninjutsu Specialist)
Team 10: Sasuke Uchiha (Potential Frontal Assault/Asassination, Ninjutsu/Genjutsu Specialist)
Kiba Inazuka (Potential Frontal Assault/Tracking, Taijutsu/Traps Specialist)
Ino Yamanaka (Potential Information Gathering/Infiktration, Ninjutsu/Genjutsu Specialist.
This was just roughly 1 minute if thinking if there potential specialitys and dynamik, if you ever make another Naruto fic again, just take what i said into consideration.
7/21/2024 c1 lukeanimelover
I think your making these changes a bit yoo quickly, i understand you just want the old naruto out of the way and everything, but it takes time for someone to change so drastically, time you arent showing us and instead is skipping.
I think your making these changes a bit yoo quickly, i understand you just want the old naruto out of the way and everything, but it takes time for someone to change so drastically, time you arent showing us and instead is skipping.
7/3/2024 c18 naruto2020
DarkHunter10 why r u so pressed bro if u have a problem just write it urself HAAHAH aint no way u is aruing with a tory that ended 5 years again
DarkHunter10 why r u so pressed bro if u have a problem just write it urself HAAHAH aint no way u is aruing with a tory that ended 5 years again
7/1/2024 c19 DarkHunter10
"thirteen years of hatred cannot be undone that easily"... Um yes it can... It apparently FORMED in under 24 hours! The fox had been a part of konoha since it's inception... They NEVER had a problem with it before, and never had a problem with ANY of the previous jinchuriki.. ALL THAT formed in LESS THEN A DAY... They abandoned GENERATIONS of customs and previously held beliefs IN UNDER A DAY (impossible I know, BUT that's the story). So really abandoning the "new" thing just to revert to the PREVIOUS way of thinking, is actually pretty easy to understand.
Naruto in canon seems MORE powerful.. You said that this story would have naruto actually "realizing his potential"... But he NEEDED A ROOT SQUAD here, to beat garaa... He didn't need ANYONE before... Here, Naruto's teachers drop like flies... In canon, NOBODY died on his watch... So you might have WANTED to portray a more powerful and believable naruto, but your ACTUALLY showing a MUCH WEAKER one.
Naruto might NOT have the rinnegan or Minato's brains.. But he DOES have the shadow clones.. LOADS AND LOADS of shadow clones.. That alone should make a master at ANY nin jutsu fairly easily. He can literally spend entire LIFETIMES of hours learning each and every jutsu in DAYS! .. About the only risk I can see, is "mental burnout".. If he uses so many clones to start racking up jutsu.. His brain is going to behave and believe it is MUCH older then his body. AKA... He's going to be PHYSICALLY young.. But "feel" ancient.
Jiraiya DOES seem to be REALLY "dragging his feet" with training naruto... And NARUTO NEEDS TO QUIT with the only expiation he gives the sannin being: "I need to get stronger"... He needs to TELL HIM, he knows about the Akatsuki AND that orochi wants him... He needs stronger YESTERDAY... Not WAITING or WHATEVER it is, you have jiraiya doing... The only one really getting STRONGER in this story (just like canon) IS SASUKE! Not naruto... If I wanted to read a sasuke story, I'd just read canon.
"thirteen years of hatred cannot be undone that easily"... Um yes it can... It apparently FORMED in under 24 hours! The fox had been a part of konoha since it's inception... They NEVER had a problem with it before, and never had a problem with ANY of the previous jinchuriki.. ALL THAT formed in LESS THEN A DAY... They abandoned GENERATIONS of customs and previously held beliefs IN UNDER A DAY (impossible I know, BUT that's the story). So really abandoning the "new" thing just to revert to the PREVIOUS way of thinking, is actually pretty easy to understand.
Naruto in canon seems MORE powerful.. You said that this story would have naruto actually "realizing his potential"... But he NEEDED A ROOT SQUAD here, to beat garaa... He didn't need ANYONE before... Here, Naruto's teachers drop like flies... In canon, NOBODY died on his watch... So you might have WANTED to portray a more powerful and believable naruto, but your ACTUALLY showing a MUCH WEAKER one.
Naruto might NOT have the rinnegan or Minato's brains.. But he DOES have the shadow clones.. LOADS AND LOADS of shadow clones.. That alone should make a master at ANY nin jutsu fairly easily. He can literally spend entire LIFETIMES of hours learning each and every jutsu in DAYS! .. About the only risk I can see, is "mental burnout".. If he uses so many clones to start racking up jutsu.. His brain is going to behave and believe it is MUCH older then his body. AKA... He's going to be PHYSICALLY young.. But "feel" ancient.
Jiraiya DOES seem to be REALLY "dragging his feet" with training naruto... And NARUTO NEEDS TO QUIT with the only expiation he gives the sannin being: "I need to get stronger"... He needs to TELL HIM, he knows about the Akatsuki AND that orochi wants him... He needs stronger YESTERDAY... Not WAITING or WHATEVER it is, you have jiraiya doing... The only one really getting STRONGER in this story (just like canon) IS SASUKE! Not naruto... If I wanted to read a sasuke story, I'd just read canon.
7/1/2024 c18 DarkHunter10
Wait, how is Hayate dead? Kabuto was revealed as a spy WAAAAAAAY earlier then canon, so he COULDN'T have met with Baki, if he didn't meet with Baki... There was no way Hayate spotted them and got killed.. and that's WITHOUT thinking that Suna's nin wouldn't be watched like hawks (since the "intelligence" division apparently knew about this WAAAAY earlier).. And that's not even going INTO how much of wrench the "barrier division" throws in this. I can tell this is going to be LOOOOOOONG chapter if your trying to "cling" to canon. (IT'S barely comprehensible as is, with all the retcons) And this story has QUITE a few differences from it, that should make it JUST about nonsensical.
Going against an equal? HUH.. Last time I did any counting... 9 was more then 1... So not EXACTLY an "equal". Also, garaa.. Not an Uzumaki... So there is that problem too.. Better comparison to an "equal" to naruto is nageto.. aka.. pein.. (especially if he had a "whole" body).
it wouldn't have taken THIS long to drain garaa.. AGAIN... HE'S ONLY THE ONE TAIL! That does put him ABOVE kisame but the first's ability has to be "battle ready" for fighting the HIGHER TAILS... Meaning it can't be SLOW, especially for the LEAST of the tailed beasts. Oh and WHY ISN'T THERE AN ENTIRE TEAM of anbu against kabuto? NOBODY shows up in the area IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SPOTLIGHT... THAT IS MORONIC.
Another two Jounin dead huh? One to kabuto and one to baki.. You really CHEW through the ally jounin huh? Makes me really wonder AGAIN, how the village has continued to exist.. It KINDA COULDN'T, at the rate your going.,, IT never would have MADE IT to start the story.
Wait, how is Hayate dead? Kabuto was revealed as a spy WAAAAAAAY earlier then canon, so he COULDN'T have met with Baki, if he didn't meet with Baki... There was no way Hayate spotted them and got killed.. and that's WITHOUT thinking that Suna's nin wouldn't be watched like hawks (since the "intelligence" division apparently knew about this WAAAAY earlier).. And that's not even going INTO how much of wrench the "barrier division" throws in this. I can tell this is going to be LOOOOOOONG chapter if your trying to "cling" to canon. (IT'S barely comprehensible as is, with all the retcons) And this story has QUITE a few differences from it, that should make it JUST about nonsensical.
Going against an equal? HUH.. Last time I did any counting... 9 was more then 1... So not EXACTLY an "equal". Also, garaa.. Not an Uzumaki... So there is that problem too.. Better comparison to an "equal" to naruto is nageto.. aka.. pein.. (especially if he had a "whole" body).
it wouldn't have taken THIS long to drain garaa.. AGAIN... HE'S ONLY THE ONE TAIL! That does put him ABOVE kisame but the first's ability has to be "battle ready" for fighting the HIGHER TAILS... Meaning it can't be SLOW, especially for the LEAST of the tailed beasts. Oh and WHY ISN'T THERE AN ENTIRE TEAM of anbu against kabuto? NOBODY shows up in the area IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SPOTLIGHT... THAT IS MORONIC.
Another two Jounin dead huh? One to kabuto and one to baki.. You really CHEW through the ally jounin huh? Makes me really wonder AGAIN, how the village has continued to exist.. It KINDA COULDN'T, at the rate your going.,, IT never would have MADE IT to start the story.