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for Patriot's Dawn

2/1/2023 c4 3JadeDragon927
Enjoying the read so far and I love the chapter length!
2/1/2023 c1 JadeDragon927
I an thoroughly impressed. You were able to get a great hook going while also pushing past the initial information needed to let the reader know what's going on without rehashing overused themes. Very excited to see where this goes!
1/31/2023 c23 alinoodles01
Fuck Sasuke
1/29/2023 c8 alinoodles01
I can't believe Asuma is really dead, I'm actually crying
1/23/2023 c2 2Giorno Giovana loves Pee tee
YEAH, BEING BURNED BY THE WILL OF FIRE SOUNDS LIKE WHAT KONOHA CITIZENS WOULD SAY.
1/11/2023 c4 Guest
Teasing in small amounts is fine, overpopulating the story with it turns readers interest off.
12/20/2022 c18 1Diametrik
Since when was replacing himself with a kunai something that hurt him?

Also, why did he take so long to use the Kyuubi? Yamato died because Naruto felt like trying to defend against a jonin without his full strength
12/20/2022 c15 Diametrik
Naruto acting this stupid is irritating. Konoha didn't appreciate his talents? No shit! he was found experimenting on Konoha ninjas!
12/19/2022 c10 Diametrik
[The knowledge that this was, in fact, a test of his abilities reasserted itself, and Naruto realized that it was natural for this new sensei to test his genjutsu ability.

And he had failed in it spectacularly.]

I could've sworn Naruto had specifically put a lot of effort into his ability to detect and dispel genjutsus. Either his efforts were fruitless or the test was way too difficult and therefore pointless.

[Tenzo nearly smirked beneath his mask as the boy raised his knife laden hands to be level with his head, unknowingly mimicking Tenzo's own taijutsu stance. Good instincts; they'll help him learn quickly, the jonin thought with praise.]

Naruto has been drilling his Taijutsu style for years. Then, he sees Tenzo use a style different from his own and decides to try and copy it mid-fight? With no training to make sure his form is right and no time to integrate it into his own style, he instinctively breaks his own tried, tested, and trained style and mimics one he's never even seen before? And Tenzo thinks this is a good thing?

["A jinchuriki's body is malleable, even at an age where most normal humans stop developing as their genetic structure and past nutrition have a set blueprint as to what the body will eventually be. While I'm not saying to break the boy's bones and reset them in certain ways, I do believe that a more physically oriented training style would benefit the boy in the long run, as it would play to the great strength he will no doubt possess one day."]

If he had this information, why the fuck did he not tell Asuma when he had said he thought there was no need to improve Naruto's taijutsu?
12/19/2022 c9 Diametrik
[Missions went to hell all the time, events spiraling out of control faster than a person could blink. More often than not, people ended up dead because of small details that no one had any right to expect would mean anything, and the survivors were left to pick up the pieces.]

This could be seen as wisdom if it weren't for the fact that the mission started spiralling right from the start, in full view of everyone, where they had plenty of chance to back out and take more appropriate action, if it weren't for the fact that the details were obvious and everyone knew what they meant and ignored them anyway.

Naruto's right that it wasn't his fault, though, other than for not binding Haku - Asuma was the one who made his own bed by deciding to continue the mission.
12/19/2022 c8 Diametrik
I hope they learn to be a bit less cavalier about the threat level of future missions
12/19/2022 c7 Diametrik
Honestly not even that mad, Asuma was the one who decided to carry on with this mission that was well above their pay grade and he was the one who paid for it.

Sucks to be Ino, though, just after she probably got over being useless in the last fight, she let something like this happen.
12/19/2022 c5 Diametrik
Asuma is wrong in his speech about the unknown things in missions. Missions are given estimations of the skill level required to complete them. Sure, there is a level of unknown that means it could be more or less, but you have an idea.

They took a mission of C-rank, where the estimated threat level was just some bandits. Because of the unknown, there was a reasonable possibility that they might come across no threat at all or a threat slightly above bandits - like the Demon Brothers. That's fine because they are capable of tackling such a thing. But now they have learned new information that changes the rank of the mission to B-rank. This means the estimated threat is now more ninjas on the level of the guys they took out, but because of the unknown, it could be a lesser threat - like just hired mercenaries - or a greater threat - like jonins. This is no longer fine, since the likely possible unknown element is more than they can handle.

Asuma is talking like the idea of estimated threat assessment doesn't exist. Like, imagine if there was a mission to break into someone's house and steal something. But then they get there and see fuinjutsu written on the door. At that point, you should be like "this is clearly the home of someone dangerous, I should leave or go get someone skilled at infiltration," but Asuma's reasoning would be like "well, we never knew who lived there in the first place, it always had the possibility of being dangerous! Now, let's get to it!", despite the fact that they don't know fuinjutsu nor are they confident about fighting someone who has such knowledge.

The thing about not thinking about other people's strength doesn't work very well, either. Naruto wants to be strong enough to be considered S-rank. Now, he has seen people weaker than S-rank and realised that even that level of strength is so much stronger than him. Whether or not Naruto focuses on other specific S-rank ninjas or just the nebulous idea of an S-rank ninja, it doesn't change the fact that such a thing is very far away from him.

The advice Naruto needs is not that he shouldn't measure his strength against other people (his job is literally fighting other people), it is that he needs to recognise that such a journey will take time, effort, and luck, and there's nothing he can do to change that, so he should just do his best to put in the effort and capitalise on any opportunities he comes across, instead of moping about things he can't change.
12/19/2022 c2 Diametrik
Kinda strange team compositions
12/16/2022 c26 2ecoBlade
Nice take on the plot, maybe a little warning next time with all those deaths but very good story
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