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for Patriot's Dawn

11/11/2022 c17 9Minion of Set
Danzo training Asuma is probably my favorite bit of history in this world. That never occurred to me, but it says a lot about both characters and Sarutobi as well.
11/9/2022 c1 kevinthegoat0304
Holy shit this was very good. Romance was the only flaw in this story. This is supposed to be a story of survival. 9/10. You have pretty good grammar and turned Naruto into your own darker, gruesome and genuinely more interesting version.
11/9/2022 c20 kevinthegoat0304
That was a deep chapter with tsuna.
11/8/2022 c13 kevinthegoat0304
I feel like everything up until this point was fine except the romance. Not saying Ino is a bad paring but romance is not something you think about when you are trying to get strong enough to not die.
11/8/2022 c2 kevinthegoat0304
Don’t know people think they would break up the inoshikacho when their parents literally requested it.
9/21/2022 c23 KeZ01
Loss of agency is a dangerous game to play.
9/20/2022 c7 KeZ01
You might need a beta, using the same words too closely is jarring and stale.
9/20/2022 c7 KeZ01
You've begun to reiterate some of your sentences, just with slightly different words. A story is never worse when extra words are removed.
9/20/2022 c6 KeZ01
Incongruent reactions from their first kills. The Demon brothers were killed with no issues, but naruto and Ino struggle against a single Chunin? Then they're shaken by it too?
9/13/2022 c9 jonathandeleondelossantos
is sad to see that he's actually taking a hard hit relating everything he does with asuma but he thinks he's not grieving (or I hope that you are dealing with him this way)but it's actually pretty good and it does make sense this Naruto it's too much edgy to feel like crying because of this (and how he doesn't know how love feels he doesn't know how losing someone feels too.
8/17/2022 c7 1Par447
Best disclaimer
7/20/2022 c2 kevinthegoat0304
Mizuki placed a genjutsu on his test.
7/20/2022 c1 kevinthegoat0304
Wait if Iruka was talking about mito then wouldn’t he have paid attention to the last name?
7/6/2022 c26 Sunburntskyline
Kinda curius how kakashi never taught substansial things to team 7 back then? How was things from his pov anyway?
7/6/2022 c25 Sunburntskyline
Huh.. if kakashi had bothered to train his team back before sasuke defected i think it couldve changed some things at least..
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