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for An Ultimatum Ranko

7/6 c11 cabrera1234
wow what an update poor ranma hope someone stop that person who hurt him.
7/4 c11 RadicalErin
I'm glad this is continuing. Ranma and herb is very rare. Ranma in this "kid on the way" situation is not something I think I've ever seen from this angle before. Balancing grandparents, international relations, taking this new role next to herb ... It's a good setup. That said, I do think some of the details in the latest could be a bit ... refined. The 3 year thing is hard to swallow, the memory coming back is a bit fast, and ranma just spilling it all right there is also a bit ... quick. Herb is also showing and exhibiting symptoms a bit ... rapidly. I also think ranma and herb just falling in step like this seems to lack a bit of necessary incremental progress. I know that's a lot of criticism, but I really do like this story. There are definitely some high points (ranma and herb sleeping on the floor is a good moment). Do you have an editor? I wonder if it might help to have someone to go over it with.
7/3 c3 michael.andrick686
Sorry, but I can't continue this story. I can't stand when Ranma is forced to conform to be more feminine. If he wants it that's deferent, but it being forced onto him and he just going along with it for seemingly no reason annoys me.
7/3 c11 2Death of Snipers
I think I’ve realized why this story sometimes throws me off.

I’m expecting a story in the vein of ranma, with action set pieces, chaotic drama, relationship shenanigans, and such.

And what I’m getting is a soap opera with trauma monologues, calm people who work through their problems, and social issues that are more vocal than physical, where the main focus is on the drama of the episode, which is resolved along the path of the overarching plot

It’s still mostly well written (though… the fact that we went from subtly hinted trauma to full breakdown to exposition in the middle of the street with little care for the viewing stranger or the need to take time to agknowledre such a memory so fast was odd?) but it’s something very different than I initially expected, and it took me this long to realize what it was that threw me fof
7/3 c10 Death of Snipers
NGL I was expecting the musk to take a tad more time to arrive. Also the… restraint? With which the announcement was received seems odd for nerima, even with many of the actors gone. That no one attempted, however fruitlessly, to fight it, yell, or anything, seems strange?

It’s like going to a rave that’s been hotboxed. The energy level is way lower than you expect

The story itself is still good, it’s just a tad odd
7/3 c9 Death of Snipers
I would not call that filler at all. The extra context is nice though.

I’m surprised herb’s mom is in the picture, but I like her anyway… though ive noticed that, aside from ranma’s accent, a lot of the characters have the same… “voice”?
7/3 c8 Death of Snipers
I thought the kunos were in a psychiatric ward?

Also, I hope ranma doesn’t just forgive and forget the magic fuckery. We know gramps knew the locket was safe, but to ranma’s perspective that was basically genma levels of stupid.

Also, I’ll be honest, it’s looking like ranma got herb pregnant, and if so o have several questions. I would have assumed that if herb wanted ranma it would go the other way. Especially as the victor.
7/3 c11 2DianaBialaska
Not sure how this chapter really fits in with the rest. 3 years in a brothel? If Ranma got the curse so young, Shampoo would have found him, I think. And I thought Ryoga met Ranma when Ranma was around 13.
I could see it happen some years earlier, between 9 and 12, before Ranma got the curse. Ranma always struck me as not having gender dysphoria over the curse, even if our protagonist exclaims being a guy, where actions speak louder than words. In such a case Ranma might be transgender, girl in mind, boy in body, but the abuse and rape may have caused Ranma to suppress all feelings of femininity, until they now appear?
7/3 c7 2Death of Snipers
Interesting. So in this version the cursed bodies don’t age? Does that mean a jusenkyo victim could be functionally immortal?

Also, I thought ranma could be male at home. Given they fought for that right, I’m surprised they chose to dress up for dinner. I can understand spending some time as a girl to train and experience new things, but from that to “dressing up fancy as a girl restores my energy when I previously wanted to mope” is a pretty big step.

It was overall a good, low key chapter, it just feels a little like it came too soon? Like the characters jumped ahead in their arcs
7/3 c6 Death of Snipers
I’m torn on the new stuff? It seems… almost like an overcorrection? While it’s nice seeing akane sticking up for ranma, and ranma getting away from a toxic environment, it feels… overly easy?

Like, it feels a bit odd for akane to be the one standing up for ranma not being a pervert when she’s usually the first to jump to accusations and blaming him, even earlier in this sake fic with the Azusa mishap, so suddenly having her as the voice of reason seems… strange to say the least.

Similarly, an all girls school seems like it would be the worst place since, whatever the faculty says, I feel like the students, (and especially the parents) would react way worse if the curse comes out.

I don’t know. The chapter was good ajd well written, but the plot beats seem strange
7/3 c11 Critico
what did I just read, Ranma and Herb?
7/3 c5 Death of Snipers
Ok, warming up to the grandparents slightly, as despite their previous comments, the presence of the women’s dojo at least means ranma won’t be cut off from the art, and it actually will be a chance to adjust.

Still not sure I trust them tho.

Also, it’s weird that they said “take your fiancé’s on dates” after banishing 3(?) of them from free Japanese society.

And I don’t know what herb’s deal with ranma is, but I gotta say, I never thought I’d be thinking “you know? Maybe ending up married to the sexist dragon boy from the bestiality tribe is ranma’s best option” but given akane is the only one left, and the unsettling nature of the new status quo, I’m getting there.

(Usual nerima isn’t great, but the fact that it’s gag prone makes me feel less like I’m wandering into that house in resident evil 7)
7/3 c4 Death of Snipers
I get it’s family rules and stuff, but this is starting to get… unsettling?

Like I get the idea is to get ranma used to their curse form and moving past the chaos to live a better life. I get that that’s the INTENT

On the other hand, giving someone an ultimatum on how they live their life, part of which includes the one thing they previously had to give them a centering influence in the chaos, making them move away from their previous support network (however shitty it may have been) and making them change how they present themselves to the world are all kind of gaslighty things to break down ones sense of self.

I get that’s not their intent, but it is kinda… squirmy? Though I get that may be cus I’m not taking Japanese culture into account.

Like, as of now, I’m viewing the grandparents as “what happens if the kunos had legitimate leverage” though that may not be fair.
7/3 c3 Death of Snipers
I feel like some dialogue seems odd? Like ranma can be polite at times but “if you will it mother it will be done” seems a bit odd for them.

Also, hoping the grandparents aren’t going to be just another set of tendos. Like, akane here is being framed basically as bad as any other given nerima resident, and none are being shown well, so that they Went “ah yes this relationship is fine” worries me, though we haven’t seen it first hand

I have a question though: screws loose or not, isn’t Kuno canonically almost the bottom of the nerima totem pole, beaten only by akane? Sure he occasionally gets a leg up, but that ranma is consistently scared of him and taking near misses seems… strange.
7/2 c2 Death of Snipers
I’m torn on the grandparents representation. On one hand their determination makes sense for nodoka’s parents. On the other I worry they may end up worse than the tendos, which is the last thing ranma needs right now.

It’s been a while since I read your stuff zel, and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes
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