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for An Ultimatum Ranko

1/2/2011 c6 3tuatara
Tai Khan,
What makes you say that? Because she's willing to defend Ranma against the girls' insults? She understands the position Ranma finds herself in here, and can see that the girls' nastiness is unwarranted. She knows this isn't what Ranma wants but that she didn't seem to have a lot of viable options. If you're bothered by Akane missing Ranma at the end, then that makes even less sense to me. It's not like she's thinking, "Oh, woe is me! My beloved has forsaken me!" She just wishes Ranma were still there. I don't see how any of that is so profoundly out of character.

Your reviews have kind of made it seem like you have it in for this story, though I'm not really sure I understand why. It's a pretty simple, straightforward tale without anything too controversial. I'm curious as to why you're still spending time reading it if you find it so fundamentally flawed. That's not to say, "Hey, if you don't like it, don't read it!" But it is sort of confusing.
1/2/2011 c6 Tai Khan
Akane Tendo has been replaced by a completely unknown character here.
12/29/2010 c5 gort420
very good when is the rest of ranmas freinds fiances and enemys going to show up and cause chaos?
12/14/2010 c5 3Odinson91
Wondering about what Neji meant about not wanting to face Happosai even if she was still young. So, at least in the context of this story, Ranko and Reila won't age alongside Ranma and Reinji, respectively? That really sucks for Ranma and Reinji, possibly becoming old men and having to turn into young women. That's even worse than just switching genders with hit and cold. Great chapter!
12/14/2010 c5 Jerry Unipeg
GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) About time start using his brain.
12/12/2010 c4 29Sakura Lisel
*lol* Poor Ranma. Though I hope the contract he signed didn't include having to date guys for the next year and a half as a girl. If the contract included THAT, that's when he should have put his foot down. *lol* He already told his mom, that he wasn't interested in dating guys back when he thought she still believed him to be Ranko Tendo. So is she and the grandparents going to make him/her date guys as well whether he/she wants to or not?
11/30/2010 c4 Wordlurker
Not bad. I kinda like this fic, though what seems to be near-blatant Ranma/Akane shipping makes me rather leery of reading anymore. It's so commonplace these days that its just boring now. Almost EVERYONE does Ra/Ak... Ugh. Just cuz a pairing is canon or semi-canon does not necessarily mean that it is a good one.

Well, anyways, keep up the good work. It'll be interesting to see what happens next. Ranma, in girl form, for a year and a half? THAT will be funny. He's sooo good (note the sarcasm) at being a girl after all.
11/25/2010 c4 7Riniko22
While Ranma brings a lot of his problems on himself, the others are all equally at fault and therefore should bare the weight of their actions. The Amazons should be thrown out of the country, Ryouga should pay for his rampages, Kodachi and Tatewaki placed in mental care and billed for their actions, and Akane sent to anger management therapy. Wow, I can really see from the top of this high horse, but still it is not all Ranma's fault to paid. Still, I am enjoying the story and hope you have more soon.
11/24/2010 c4 Tai Khan
Enough clues to see where this is going.

It's either going to be a Ranma/Akane pairing or a 'Ranko'/Ryoga pairing.

The omniscient/omnipotent grandparents, the submissive and underskilled/underpowered Ranma (that or Ryoga's gotten a power-up), the even-tempered/non-violent/understanding Akane. The Kunos, powerless and submissive before the grandparents. The Amazons outflanked by the grandparents knowledge of their laws. Ukyo spontaneously giving up on Ranma for Konatsu.

All Ranma has to do is spend even more time in cursed form, with a vague promise of some unspecified reward at the end (oh, and let's not forget exacting obedience to his grandmother's every whim). Oh sure, he has choices. Let's see: 1) He can kill himself, if he doesn't wish to give in to his grandmother's demands. 2) He can become ronin or immediately choose, and likely immediately marry, one of the fiancees. Or 3) he can spend the next year (oh right, 'year-and-a-half' since he's starting earlier...no, it doesn't make any sense, but that's the way Grandma wants it, so that's the way it's going to be). And what does Ranma want? That's completely irrelevant...even to Ranma.
11/24/2010 c3 Tai Khan
Only real complaint I have with this chapter is the old 'do it my way or it's the highway' that the grandparents are forcing upon Ranma.

And once again, Ranma rolls over without so much as a whimper and sticks his butt in the air, after dropping his pants and boxers.

What does Ranma get if he complies? Nothing more than he already has...in other words, nothing.

Oh sure, he'll get to experience the joys of being female, including menstruation, presumably the purpose behind the ultimatum. And yet, it could have been handled in a much better manner and made voluntary. Instead, it's do it or you're no longer a part of the Saotome clan.
11/18/2010 c3 Riniko22
Interesting story, wondering how Ranma takes care of the Kuno problem.
11/14/2010 c2 3tuatara
To the review that commented on the shortcomings of the most recent chapter...it's true that they didn't finish their talk, but that can still be addressed fairly easily in the next chapter. Ranma, Nodoka, and her parents are about to have a momentous meeting, after all. A sentence or two referring back to their earlier discussion is all that's needed. As paying back Ryoga, what part of beating him into unconsciousness doesn't count as payback?

And the thing with Ranma's teacher? I'm afraid you might be taking that entirely too seriously. It's wholly consistent with the kind of student abuse that goes on daily at Furinkan. Bombs? Ki draining? Using Ranma's transformation as punishment is nothing by comparison.

I will grant that the Azusa bit seems relatively disconnected from the larger plot (such as it is at this point). But I see it as more of a tone-setter to ease the reader into the story. It's "The Simpsons" principle: Start an episode with a sequence that's only tangentially related to the rest of the story, but gives some idea of the mood you can expect from the rest of the episode. I thought it worked pretty well, personally.

Yes, there's certainly room for improvement, but it's hardly incoherent. It holds together more than adequately. And we've only just touched on the meat of the story. But of course I'm biased, as I'm pre-reading this story. So thank you for your observations. Even if I disagree with some of your criticisms, they remind me not to get complacent. I'm sure zeltronica appreciates your input even more!
11/14/2010 c2 Tai Khan
Not too bad.

Although, overall, it comes across as a series of unconnected scenes that were threaded together to this point.

Nodoka never finishes her discussion with 'Ranko', or if she does we're not privy to it.

Ranma never gets his revenge on Ryoga for the Azusa incident, or, again, we're not privy to it.

Ranma appears to have been powered-down (can't break out of Azusa's cage, but he can shatter concrete with ease), and thinks nothing of seriously injuring his opponents (breaks Kuno's arm in a fit of anger).

A teacher punishing Ranma with his curse (tantamount to forcing a person with a horrible disfigurement that they're embarrassed and ashamed of to remove their concealing garments and expose themselves to the entire class); in short, using a student's disability or disfigurement as means to subject a student to ridicule and embarrassment as a form of punishment instead of a means of discipline applicable to all students (which would be apt to get the teacher immediately fired in most civilized countries in the world).

Essentially, needs some work yet.
11/12/2010 c1 7otaku-kage
this is good, cant wait for the next chapter!
11/3/2010 c1 1InknKey
So I'm guessing Nodoka finds out some time soon. At least I hope so.
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