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12/5/2014 c1 2unknownwolf1996
PLEASE continue this!
5/22/2014 c1 NexusRider161
Ohhh Malfoy Ever so... Luscious. I thought that and nearly died laughing.
1/29/2011 c1 13earthrise
OK. You've obviously got potential here but you've got several problems. First of all, it's Lucius Malfoy. Luscious works well as an insult, but not in the summary unless it's a crackfic about Lucius' flamboyantly gay brother (and yes I have seen that done). Secondly, Syx Deaths. It's a rockin' username I'll grant you, but maybe not the best for a protagonist. Especially since it's your username it's probably a good idea to avoid using it for your main character- self inserts can be done well (on very rare occasions) but they work best as crack or when they're done well enough that the reader doesn't immediately recognize them as a SI fic. Thirdly, you need to work on your summary. Your summary is what sells your fic to your reader. Had it not been one of 26 FEAR crossovers I would have never clicked on it. All in all, not bad for a first fic on here. The style reminds me very much of the movie "The Princess Bride" which was a very fun movie (I know it was originally a book but I've never read it). There were several other minor errors in spelling and grammar, but if you were to get a beta reader that would help with that. Good luck and Godspeed!

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