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for Operation: POSIEDON

4/15/2014 c1 DragonsFlame117
Other than a spot or two where some text got mixed up, this was great! I do so hope you continue it!
7/6/2011 c1 9ThatDesGuy
Great Plot! UPDATE DAMNIT!
5/19/2011 c1 Guest
-First section...well, there's pros and cons. The pros is that while remaining accurate to Kholo's fall, it manages to inject original information and making it feel natural while its at it. The con is admittedly subjective-for lack of a better phrase, it's kind of a case of telling rather than showing. Granted, writing has more leeway for this than visual mediums, but it's something I try to personally avoid.

Still, subjective like I said, so I won't put this in the context of an objective criticism. For what it's worth however, while not an outright error, the notion that the seperatists are fighting alongside humans made me raise an eyebrow. In material such as 'The Return', I got the impression that they were effectively fighting their own conflict against the jiralhanae and san 'shyuum-certainly the shipmaster in the story didn't treat the humans as allies, albiet not as true enemies either.

-"Six years after the end of the Human-Covenant Wareason alone that many of the surviving members of Humanity refuse to visit their worlds glassed by the"

One of the opening lines of the second section. Can only assume that something went wrong with the upload.

-"The lone Sangheili hoisted the injuredorydea pops into my head. This is my first Halo fic so I hope I do justice to this truly epic game. Human to his feet as the..."

And again with the upload.

-The shipmaster is referred to as an ultra here-a rank that's below that of zealot. Yes, he's wearing white armour here and in the motion comic, but I'd say that words overcome images in this regard.

-"You don't dream in cryo at all, the monitors regarding..."

Um, Johnson managed it in 'Contact Harvest.'

-"Oh" though John.

Needs a comma after "oh," "though" should be "thought."

-John and Cortana are written well overall.

-The Spirit waited for a moment before the cryo tubes seal automatically broke as the inhabitat regained full consciousnes

interest waseen the twoe Shipmaster'th unblemished Forerunner metal even been an image of a sacredd wellings they had been using as ip and some medical suppliesbleeding down. se his spine. Instead the shot had passed throug

...located at the end. 'Nuff said.
4/17/2011 c1 2HouseOf13lack
He's back! Though the end seemed a little lame... I loved it. There are some glitches in the text that you may want to change, and a few missing full stops. The middle-back part seemed a little directionless too, but well, still a great chapter overall. Hope you don't mind the critique - personally I think it's good once in a while for improvement. Love ~ HoB
3/21/2011 c1 5Penguins-in-America-Oh-My
This is good please continue...you might wanna look through it though there are spots where the sentence abruptly cuts off and spots where something that previously happened randomly gets re0stated and it takes away from the story.
1/31/2011 c1 WriterFan4Life
Enjoyed quite a bit. Update soon!
1/18/2011 c1 MIR .N2O
Please update soon! I love it so far :D
1/17/2011 c1 lordwakko
nice story, i think this is now my favorite halo story, very creative, keep it up.
12/5/2010 c1 krono
Staggeringly, staggeringly good. Excellently written, with vibrant descriptions and attention to the story's canon.

Only thing is FF seems to have stumbled and some of the text is duplicated or cut into random paragraphs.

But honestly, that was blindingly excellent
11/29/2010 c1 43M-Angel 05
*hugs* Thank-you for the very long chapter. I LOVE long chapters. You are officially going into my fav list, right next to Red Mage 04. Sorry he's still number 1...Love your story!
11/21/2010 c1 CanadianRugbyguy
Not a bad start to this story. I hope you can find the time to continue your work on this one.

I noticed a few formatting errors. Paragraphs interrupted by snippets of other paragraphs.

Other then that a very good read.

I await more of this story.
11/20/2010 c1 Cyrosian
DUDE!I pray your going to update this soon! This is by far the coolest Halo Fanfiction I have EVER READ. You may earn a ranking in my favorites section.
11/20/2010 c1 spartan-229
very interesting start to the story however you may want to go back over it and check some parts due to the fact that there are sentences that cut off and parts of the text scattered through diffrent sections. you may also want to check some of you spelling but besides that you have a very interesting start to a possilbe great stroy
11/20/2010 c1 2dragonshina
This look interesting!

I like the how the amazement, fear and wonder work their way into the heart of the elite after seeing the chief comeing out no nowhere!

A piece of advise... there are some section that contain other context. Example:

Six years after the end of the Human-Covenant Wareason alone that many of the surviving members of Humanity refuse to visit their worlds glassed by the

See? it start saying one thing and finish saying other. My guess is that you 'copy paste' it in there by mistake.

Keep it up!

Oh... and what about the wounded human soldier?

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