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for Battlestar Fleur

2/26/2020 c1 Calebros
12 colonies? the way you wrote it they shouldn't even have enough people to fill even one city. what do they want with 12 worlds?
3/29/2017 c1 Borg
What a fucking dumb story this is...remove and burn it.
7/7/2012 c1 4fletchersarrow
This is brilliant! Thanks for giving me the link on MythicScribes XD
11/26/2010 c4 14RahXephon
This is a surprisingly entertaining story. The sheer originality and melding of two completely unrelated universes is compelling.

The fic is rather light-weighted though. Not inadequately skinny, but still on the light side. For all the potential of world-building that is contained in this fic, you only use very little of it. We are left with large gaps in mental pictures that we have to imagine ourselves. How does a wizarding battlestar look like? The pacing is rather fast, leaving readers no time to come up with a lively image. Large events such as the Sylon attack fly by very quickly, preventing deeper emotions such as surprise, agony or sympathy from settling in. A few more descriptions would do wonders with the immersive quality of your fic.

Another small issue I've noticed is your liberal use of exclamation marks. When you use them that much, they cease to become substantial but instead give your dialogue the appearance of being in a caffeine high.

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