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for All these Years

11/30/2018 c19 Spawn
Well, we just sprinted right through to the happy ending. This wasn't bad for your first attempt. If you ever decide to write again, there's a lot of room for growth. Good job and thanks for sharing.
11/30/2018 c18 Spawn
It's kind of a demotion to go from NCIS to police offers, don't you think? Wasn't it a group of boys and not just two? Whether they were on drugs and alcohol or not, it doesn't change the fact that they're guilty of committing the crimes and that likely wouldn't affect the charges.

So Shelby is farther along that they thought. Rachel's jealousy is understandable, but she will be a good big sister.
11/30/2018 c17 Spawn
How did have of the cast of Grey's Anatomy end up in Ohio? I get Callie being Santana's Aunt, but what are the rest of them doing there? Rachel must be close to the rest of the girls, because I wouldn't want all of my friends there to see them change the bandages. Noah was sweet.
11/30/2018 c16 Spawn
So Shelby and Will are engaged and expecting a child. Maybe he'll be a better father figure than her two dead Dads were? Why is Rachel keeping her pain to herself? Her Mom needs to know in case something happens.
11/30/2018 c15 Spawn
They left a seven year old alone? Legally speaking, I don't think you can make a child an emancipated minor at 13. I realize that you're going for drama, but you're trying too hard and it's unrealistic. You have some good ideas, but throwing too much in at one time just makes things confusing.

I liked Shelby being motherly to Rachel and her climbing into bed to hold her baby. I think it's good that Rachel opened up to her Mother and allowed herself to be comforted.
11/30/2018 c14 Spawn
So Will knew. Why the hell didn't he tell Shelby before now so that Rachel didn't have to be alone those four weeks? Noah singing to Rachel was sweet.
11/29/2018 c13 Spawn
How would they know she was pregnant after a week? Does Will have super sperm or something? Not that I mind a Shelby and Will baby, but at tiny bit of realism would be nice. Rachel doesn't even know anything about her Mother yet, how will she feel about being a big sister?
11/29/2018 c12 Spawn
I understand this is your first fic, but if you decide to write more stories in the future, you might want to plan them out because this is kind of a mess... Now her Fathers are dead and she's an emancipated minor?

If the kids knew, which clearly they did and it was cleared by the court, Mr Schue would have known this and told Shelby. Consistency and balance are important in storytelling. If you're going to make huge changes in the middle, you're better off rewriting it all together.
11/28/2018 c11 Spawn
You had her Fathers leave her a note that they were just going out to dinner, and then another with them going out of town for a week, so her being alone for a year makes no sense at all. Also, Rachel being beaten to a bloody pulp by a large group of boys for really no reason is out there as well. If you want to create drama, there are better ways.

I'm glad that Shelby is there for her baby as I'm tired of all of the games. The boys need to be arrested and tossed in jail.
11/28/2018 c10 Spawn
FINALLY! It's about damn time she figured it out!
11/28/2018 c9 Spawn
Yeah, I could care less about Finn and his "love" for Quinn. I liked Shelby singing to Rachel. Rachel now knows Shelby could be her Mom, now I need the girl to believe it and tell Shelby she knows!
11/28/2018 c8 Spawn
Okay the boyfriend swap was weird and really out of left field. There was literally nothing leading up to it. I don't mind her dropping Finn, but she was rather quick to hop on Puck. I would like to see them take it slow, but I suppose it's a bit too late for that. Maybe Shelby will be able to convince her to slow things down?
11/28/2018 c7 Spawn
Um, that was Katy Perry, not Keisha Firework, but it was good none the less. I'm glad that Rachel is at least starting to piece things together, even if it is subconsciously. Hurry up and figure it out, Rachel! I need a Mother daughter reunion and some bonding to happen.
11/28/2018 c6 Spawn
3 to 5 month old's don't dance let alone compete in competitions. You're lucky if they can roll over at that point. Did you mean years old, because otherwise it's not realistic? How did Rachel's fathers not know it was Shelby's autograph Rachel was getting? Her name and bio would have been on the playbill. At least Shelby got tiny glimpses into her daughter's life.
11/28/2018 c5 Spawn
I like that Quinn and Rachel are still best friends, even though Quinn is popular and Rachel isn't. How in the world do Quinn and Rachel not recognize Shelby from her picture when they see her in class for the first time? I really don't get that.

At least Shelby gets to see her baby on a regular basis, even if it's only as her teacher for now. I need someone to connect the pieces already.
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