FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Third Defender of Daten City

5/10/2023 c3 AJGuardian
Aaaaand it died.
3/25/2022 c3 18Darkmagicdragon
Ima be brutally honest. This story is bad. The misspelling, okay. That ticks me off, but I can look past it. What really kills it is how unbelievably rushed it is. Why nobody is being honest about their feelings is ridiculous.

I mean, really? The dried up old banished Naruto without explanation? I’m sorry, but that already shows lack of creativity. Especially since you gave no explanation why or how he came to Daten City.

Next. Panty and Stocking meet Naruto and right from 0.1 seconds they love him? Wow. I didn’t know people change their routines and fall in love that fast. Especially when they meet a complete stranger they know nothing about.

Finally, Naruto somehow, without explanation, meets the girls then suddenly gains holy powers that he’s never had any idea to use until that very second? What? Did making eye contact give him powers like their’s?

I’m sorry, but really this is why you’re story never made it past 3 chapters and was obviously abandoned. You made the mistake of rushing in without giving it heavy thought and this was the end result.

Really, if you even bother to read this, then listen. There is no shame in listening to negative criticism, because sometimes it’s good and opens your mind to where you mess up and how to fix it. So don’t ignore when someone wants to help you.

This story is salvageable, but only if you rewrite it.
11/21/2020 c3 5HMV Black Templar
A nice story, I hope you'll come back to it.
11/26/2018 c3 drivemaster9x
yo cool so far
2/13/2018 c3 StrongGuy159
Cool 3 chapters continue please.
12/19/2017 c3 3Necrogod
Thanks for the chapter!
8/9/2017 c3 Guest
PLEASE UPDATE THIS FANFICTION SOON, PLEASE!
6/17/2017 c3 Super heavy weapons guy
ot wass pretty can't wait for more
4/8/2017 c3 Guest
PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLZ UPDATE SOON
2/5/2017 c3 Shadowknightreaper
Need more chapters.
1/14/2017 c3 Guest
PLEASE please Please pLEASE UPDATE update Update uPDATE SOON soon Soon sOON
1/3/2017 c3 25F.M.D
I really like it, please tell me the next chapter is coming out soon.
3/13/2016 c3 4El Cato
This was an interesting story... Until you stopped ;-;
12/23/2014 c3 1FatBuddha
The amount of times you must have needed to press bold/italics for that one sentence scares me...
11/18/2014 c3 kingbroly
I like this please continue
124 Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service