for Moonlight and Mistletoe2/24/2013 c8 
4Square Root of Three
Your story is great so far! I liked it when Elena was locked in with Hikaru. XD And I can't believe that Lilith would be so mean... how does she know Kich, anyways? Not to mention that she stole her watch...
I hope you update soon!
4Square Root of ThreeYour story is great so far! I liked it when Elena was locked in with Hikaru. XD And I can't believe that Lilith would be so mean... how does she know Kich, anyways? Not to mention that she stole her watch...
I hope you update soon!
2/15/2013 c8 Hanyoualchemist1
(uses magical rainbow unicorn powers to give you energy) This is so amazing! But, if you would like to collaborate with me...cuz you're bored of this story, a little, I would love to do so with you.
(uses magical rainbow unicorn powers to give you energy) This is so amazing! But, if you would like to collaborate with me...cuz you're bored of this story, a little, I would love to do so with you.
7/25/2011 c8 amber
Hi! You don't know me (and I don't know you), but I just read your whole story. Although I am not a member here, I have the confidence to say that I am a very good writer (I've been published twice before turning 16). I'm VERY critical (tho not the best speller).
I hope to write an encouraging review. So, here we go:
I really like this story. You haven't changed any of the characters at all which is very impressive and makes the story more enjoyable to read. The only character who is slightly different is, Hikaru. But as he has such a big role, the tweaks you made were necessary and I would have been beyond impressed/shocked if you had not made them.
The best kind of romance is subtle. Remember that. If it's too romantic, it takes away that warm feeling. So far, your fluff has been excellent. I was very impressed with how you carried out the kiss. It was perfect and unexpected yet subtle.
What did Elena mean by, "rapping?"
You need to be careful. Elena is looking more and more like a typical steryotype often seen in random fanfiction and amature romance novels. I'm not liking the angst. Angst is extremely difficult to carry out. It can either turn out good or bad. There is no middle ground. I would advise you to stay away from it. It works in manga. Not so much in novels. It ften comes of as cheesy.
Teenage angst and ouran don't really mix anyway. Y'know?
You really don't want a main character that's not likeable. Elena is a unique character isn't she? Make her different from other protagonists. Also, I don't think Hikaru would like a girl who yelled at him and called him jerk all the time. It's just annoying and it's nothing like Haruhi.
There have only been 8 chapters. Choose a few problems to give Elena. But giving her a ton of angst to deal with (and stereotypical personality) just doesn't come off as a good read. Choose a couple problems and make sure not to overload them with melodramatic teenage angst.
I also don't really like how she looks just like Haruhi. Like a twin. Unless there is a hidden meaning to that.
It could also be used later as a sort of, "Which one of us is Haruhi" game. If Hikaru ever told Elena that he liked her and she said it was a lie because she is so similar to Haruhi. Hikaru would have to say what he sees that makes Elena special.
I'd like to know Elena's precise physical description. Do you have an image in mind when you write about her?
I am really liking the story and I want to encourage you to keep writing. Insperation is a fickle thing. Just respond to this review and I'll name every idea in my head! Anything to help. Fast updates are always appreciated. I will be following your story.
I hope I was able to help!
Hi! You don't know me (and I don't know you), but I just read your whole story. Although I am not a member here, I have the confidence to say that I am a very good writer (I've been published twice before turning 16). I'm VERY critical (tho not the best speller).
I hope to write an encouraging review. So, here we go:
I really like this story. You haven't changed any of the characters at all which is very impressive and makes the story more enjoyable to read. The only character who is slightly different is, Hikaru. But as he has such a big role, the tweaks you made were necessary and I would have been beyond impressed/shocked if you had not made them.
The best kind of romance is subtle. Remember that. If it's too romantic, it takes away that warm feeling. So far, your fluff has been excellent. I was very impressed with how you carried out the kiss. It was perfect and unexpected yet subtle.
What did Elena mean by, "rapping?"
You need to be careful. Elena is looking more and more like a typical steryotype often seen in random fanfiction and amature romance novels. I'm not liking the angst. Angst is extremely difficult to carry out. It can either turn out good or bad. There is no middle ground. I would advise you to stay away from it. It works in manga. Not so much in novels. It ften comes of as cheesy.
Teenage angst and ouran don't really mix anyway. Y'know?
You really don't want a main character that's not likeable. Elena is a unique character isn't she? Make her different from other protagonists. Also, I don't think Hikaru would like a girl who yelled at him and called him jerk all the time. It's just annoying and it's nothing like Haruhi.
There have only been 8 chapters. Choose a few problems to give Elena. But giving her a ton of angst to deal with (and stereotypical personality) just doesn't come off as a good read. Choose a couple problems and make sure not to overload them with melodramatic teenage angst.
I also don't really like how she looks just like Haruhi. Like a twin. Unless there is a hidden meaning to that.
It could also be used later as a sort of, "Which one of us is Haruhi" game. If Hikaru ever told Elena that he liked her and she said it was a lie because she is so similar to Haruhi. Hikaru would have to say what he sees that makes Elena special.
I'd like to know Elena's precise physical description. Do you have an image in mind when you write about her?
I am really liking the story and I want to encourage you to keep writing. Insperation is a fickle thing. Just respond to this review and I'll name every idea in my head! Anything to help. Fast updates are always appreciated. I will be following your story.
I hope I was able to help!
7/23/2011 c8 Kenzie
Wow. I loved that chapter... I know it's hard to write more but could you please write some soon?
Wow. I loved that chapter... I know it's hard to write more but could you please write some soon?
7/23/2011 c8 7Ayaka Mizushima
still such an amazing story. when i get the notification, i was like 'GOD! i've not read that story for a while!'
so glad the next chapter is up. Aslong as they keep coming, i don't care how long it takes for then to be posted :D
can't wait for the next chapter!
7Ayaka Mizushimastill such an amazing story. when i get the notification, i was like 'GOD! i've not read that story for a while!'
so glad the next chapter is up. Aslong as they keep coming, i don't care how long it takes for then to be posted :D
can't wait for the next chapter!
5/1/2011 c7 7Ayaka Mizushima
this is great, and i can't wait until you update again. i know my reviews are slow too, so i don't actually care how long it takes you to update, aslong as you get another chapter out in the future, i will be happy
7Ayaka Mizushimathis is great, and i can't wait until you update again. i know my reviews are slow too, so i don't actually care how long it takes you to update, aslong as you get another chapter out in the future, i will be happy
4/22/2011 c7 5Aurora-16
thanks for the update! i enjoyed it and i totallyu agree with you! cyber cupcakes to you!
5Aurora-16thanks for the update! i enjoyed it and i totallyu agree with you! cyber cupcakes to you!
3/25/2011 c6 poison innocence
I really hope you continute this. I really like it and wish you would keep going. I do have some idea if you need some, I can help. Just message me. If you don't keep writting it I understand.
Poison Innocence
I really hope you continute this. I really like it and wish you would keep going. I do have some idea if you need some, I can help. Just message me. If you don't keep writting it I understand.
Poison Innocence