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for The Fracturing of the SOS Brigade

7/10/2016 c5 2laigunner03
Well... looks like hell gonna break loose I guess is it?
3/18/2012 c5 16The Reality DumPer
That was thrilling,exciting,amazing! Can't really describe how I got absorbed by this, but I really love how it turned out! I found myself choking in my own saliva[literally] in tryin to think of anything to define what I'm feeling upon reading this... You're a great storyteller,you know that?
1/14/2012 c5 Shadow
Post... Sequal... Now... Please...
7/22/2011 c5 2The Weird Kid
That was an awesome story. I would be really happy if you made a sequel. If you don't, I'll keep sending messages until you do so.
7/2/2011 c5 18funkmasterjo
Good story. Solid. Eventful. Nice ending.
5/6/2011 c5 8Auriansmule
Great story! I was hooked from the beginning!
3/22/2011 c5 15Suzume CA
Wow.

Well, the first and best thing I can say here is that I feel like I just read a genuine Haruhi Suzumiya novel. You positively nailed it, and I'm so impressed with everything you did in this deceptively brief but incredibly engaging story.

I'm not even sure where to begin, so I guess I'll start with the characters.

Kyon was wonderful. Snarky? Check. Confused? Check. Written in that peculiar style that doesn't always use quotes, and yet other people know what he was saying? Big check. Further, giving his voice that sense of telling a story that happened in the past tense, including being aware of his audience, but giving it the suspense of something happening right now? Even bigger check. Going first-person in the style of the original author seems like a perilous choice to make in a fic of this nature, but let me assure you that as far as these eyes are concerned, you absolutely hit that nail square on the head. In spite of the title of the series, the story begins and ends with Kyon, and never for a moment did I doubt that this was really him - not a poorly disguised facsimile thereof acting out an author's personal agenda. Your respect for the original material was most evident in Kyon himself, and I can't applaud that enough. All that, and I never even talked about the character arc you gave him, allowing him to adapt to the changing situation as always, but keeping him human, with doubts and frustrations and legitimate emotional reactions to everything.

And then there was Yuki. You gave me everything an unapologetic Nagato fan like myself could possibly want (well, within the bounds of the established canon). Loyal to the point of severing her link to the Overmind, protecting Kyon at all costs (in this case, truly all costs), being incredibly badass while doing so, and giving just the right amount of ship tease and subtext to show that while Kyon and Haruhi may seem like a foregone conclusion, there is someone else who cares for (and in her own way loves) Kyon with an astounding depth. I was disappointed to see a reviewer give you crap about having her call him Kyon at the end, but I think having them each call the other by name was a perfect finale to THEIR arc, not to mention a perfect tease (now that the Overmind is gone, how will she continue to evolve? - the mind spins at the possibilities). Here again, you struck a perfect balance that was so like the original that I was both amazed and impressed. Once again, spot on for being so much like the original in tone and detail.

Of the major character focus, though, I have to say I was most pleasantly surprised by Koizumi. I'll admit it, as a fanfic old-timer I was assuming the worst when he "betrayed" Kyon and Nagato. I thought we were going to have authorial dislike for a character shape his actions yet again. But you, sneaky author, had several more twists to come, and in the process brought an incredible level of humanity to the enigmatic esper. He is so often the foil in Kyon's mind, and it's all too easy to dislike him for it, so thank you for not making him the villain of the piece, and for showing that his loyalty to the Brigade (if not Kyon himself) is as unshakable as Nagato's. In the end, I was left with a Koizumi whose motives I could understand and appreciate, and who had a depth I have yet to see explored to this extent (though admittedly, I have not quite read all the novels yet, so I don't know how much of this he might get in the later texts). The bit where he and Kyon exchange the "I'm trying to work on that" lines was priceless.

I find myself with little to say about Asahina, since she was largely absent, but the exasperated "darn" in her letter was cute and sweet, and the dilemma her older self was in was troubling to say the least. Here again is somewhere you got into Kyon's psyche perfectly with his reaction to the elder Asahina as someone he figured he could trust implicitly - she is his angel, after all, right?

Lastly, Haruhi, who was in a way peripheral to the story (until the end, of course). Your concern was understood, but ultimately unwarranted. I think you got her voice pretty darned well, considering what an unpredictable (and yes, insane) character she is. There were a couple of moments where it felt like she was wavering out of the Haruhi we know, and whether you did it intentionally or not, having Kyon acknowledge/lampshade that (his comment of wishing the confident Haruhi would come back) actually helped. Or it could be that every reader/viewer has his or her own subconscious idea of how the John Smith revelation would ultimately pan out, so I was being inherently more skeptical during the climax, I dunno. I'm not feeling up for the self-psychoanalysis right now, so I'll just wrap it up by saying that your Haruhi was overall impressive, and any bits that felt off-tone were probably just my own interpretations getting in my way.

When we got to the denouement, I felt like we were comfortably back in the first book, with the way he interacted with Koizumi, Asahina and lastly Nagato. It was so much like the original, but deceptively so, because of the very subtle (but very much present) changes - his growing understanding with and perhaps even grudging respect for Koizumi, his disappointment tinged with hope and sympathy after speaking to Asahina, and the awkwardness of Yuki trying to use human gestures to thank him as he is quietly amazed and grateful to see her again. (And yes, more ship teasing, but I am an unabashed fan of the romantic underdog, so I am liable to find subtext like this everywhere.)

And then, just like it seemed that we were safely going to end another adventure by returning to a modified status quo, you dropped that little bombshell at the end. Perfect finale, and Haruhi's last line was the ultimate punctuation mark.

So there we have it. Thank you for telling a story that was engaging, suspenseful, and most of all, very very REAL. I said it at the beginning, and will say it again: this had all the earmarks of a "real" Suzumiya novel, and I'm so glad I stumbled across it. Thank you, thank you, and once more, thank you.
3/18/2011 c5 CryingCicada
I hope you do write a sequel, i want to see how life is with haruhi aware of her powers
2/5/2011 c1 grey mage
nagato would never use kyons nickname or real name. always addressing him in the second person. "you"
2/3/2011 c5 4Rahwin
I came, I read, I reviewed.

I really like the story. It felt a little thin to begin with, but I decided to stick with it and you really made it come together in the end. the interaction between Kyon and Nagato as well as Kyon and Asahina-san were really interesting to read.

Thanks for sharing! :)
2/3/2011 c5 Inverness
Very nice story! That ending makes me want a sequel very badly. =D
1/2/2011 c5 6Sudden Enigma
Oh wow. I noticed a couple wrong word/grammatical errors, but nothing major. I also can't remember where. . But anyway, it was an interesting twist on things. Also, the ending made me laugh quite hard.
12/31/2010 c5 53Durandall
Well, that was enjoyable. Not really a whole lot to complain about, and you're right, Haruhi is really hard to write (at least, in my opinion).

Good job!
12/31/2010 c5 XxX-Curly-Wurly-XxX
Wonderful story 8D I love the ending, you tied up all the loose-ends very nicely and you kept everything believable at the same time :)

I hope you continue to write for the Haruhi fandom, keep up the amazing work ;D
12/17/2010 c4 2dongaro
Nice story. I admit the characters are well done and in character for the most part. I must admit I was surprised. In most revenge/betrayal fics the characters get twisted to the point of unrecognizably (and horribly destroyed). Here they are very believable. Even if Koizumi had been a traitor, i woud have found his motivation good enough. Basically it's an awesome story so far and I look forward to more.
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