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for The Golden Age: World of Darkness

6/25/2014 c1 Guest
Reported for MA content. The M rating is not for children or teens below the age of 16 with suggestive adult themes. You cannot describe penetration or pleasuring of certain body parts that's MA territory.
12/16/2010 c1 LordRevanMandaloreofZutara
World of Darkness was a good choice for a first One-Shot. It was very reflective, which I am glad for. Back during the early parts of RW, I had wanted a Kira/Lilia relationship just so that when Lacus came back (I still happy that I was one of the first to make that prophecy) she could be like, “You cheated on me! I have to call Cheaters right away and get that guy to stalk you and get pictures of your liaisons with that hussy.” That, unfortunately, never happened. Oh well. There will be plenty of drama when Aoi and Cade start dating. Oh how Lacus and Kira will howl in anger, gnashing their teeth at their wayward daughter. How Frost, if he is still around, will howl in laugher. Ah, so much drama, I can hardly wait!

But back to Frost and Lilia. You did a very good job of showing just how far Lilia has sunk into the Abyss. I guess you are moving toward Grey/Dark Lilia here, which is fine. Part of the reason I threw in my support of Frost/Lilia was that I had wanted you to do something different with Frost this time around. I didn’t exactly know what I wanted, just something different. Having him in a relationship is definitely different. There was absolultly none of that, aside from his love for Pink, in CC, it brought a fresh change of pace to him, along with his other changes.

So while others may criticize Lilia, I applaud her. Her relationship with Frost has certainly livened the RW up. I am so glad that you took this route. Of course, WoD also opens up some questions. Eventually (possibly) Kira and the RF will unite to take down Frost. Will they succeed? Or will Frost kill himself heroically to bring the war to an end, knowing he has his little Palpatine Mind Transfer machine? I think that would be a very interesting way to end it. Have Frost deny Kira that final fight and make him doubt Frost’s absolute evilness. Perhaps it would be against the Fifth that Frost commits this heroic sacrifice? Of course it is too early to tell at this point, but that would be a departure from usual stories where if the villain and hero do unite, they usually will separate after their common enemy was killed and fight each other.

Then what would happen to Lilia in this instance? Will she return to the Praetorians, or will she head for Charron’s Hideout? She will, at some point, have Cade in her womb, so I am guessing she heads to the Hideout. She and Frost could spend the OVA watching Cade rapidly grow and teaching him while they also work on their other plans. Or if, for some reason, Frost does die at Kira’s hand and does not regenerate, I see Lilia heading to the Hideout anyway and contining with Frost’s plans. She might have been taught how to control Mr. Abyss by this point… ah who knows? Anyway, good chapter, loved the Frost/Lilia interaction, and I cannot wait for the next one-shot/Silver Hell chapter. I hope you do one on Kira/Yggdrasil next though.
12/14/2010 c1 Eveon
Well... this is interesting to say the least. Lilia has fallen and unless Frost dies, it doesn't seem she'll ever be redeemed... even if Frost does die, she most likely won't be redeemed. I find this rather disappointing. At the same time, it suggests the nanites from Frost have not taken hold based on the scarring... I guess that means a dose has short term effect serving more as a combat booster than anything else... something that can be used up or eliminated with time. Perhaps it's an issue of DNA and only Kira clone based bodies can truly take on the nanites or possibly Kira himself though it could also be an organ that manufactures those nanites.

I would have preferred to see a Lilia balanced between Frost and Kira but I guess that's pretty impossible in this scenario. Not only that but Frost would kill her for it. Lilia is consumed by darkness based on what she reveals here, she doesn't have a hope, in fact she estimates herself to be equal to Kira in MS combat, and states she doesn't care for Yamato's opinion, it's like she's thrown her old self and her ideals away while pretending she still has them and is trying to change Frost. Well at least that solves the issue of Kira cheating on Lacus while Lacus is 'dead'... then again, you seem to prefer trauma over emotional or romantic drama... I'm still somewhat surprised though, you have a certain favoritism towards Lacus... I would say of all your characters, she suffers the least. Yes she got burnt by White EDEN but she got knocked out afterward and I doubt she's suffering more than Kira. Personally I prefer this since I also favor her. Meyrin can take the role of the pacifist Lacus who suffers. I think the 'Whore of Eden' fits the role better in any case and Dark Kira is too interesting to pass up.
12/9/2010 c1 Archangel2385
GAME OVER; I officially have no hope for Lilia.

First off, I’ll say that if you had to do a one-shot, a Lilia/Frost one would not have been at the top of my list . . . nor even particularly close for that matter. That said, I DO recognize that one of the premiere couples of the Golden Trilogy series can use as much fleshing out as possible, particularly when in its earliest stages, so this chapter, if not desired, was needed on some level.

Perhaps the greatest strength of this chapter is curiously its greatest weakness: continual Lilia POV. As you replied in a review response you sent me, a relationship is a 2-way street, and thus far, the entire Frost/Lilia coupling as been seen or contemplated solely from the latter’s perspective. The obvious advantage beyond illuminating Lilia’s feelings is that she has already observed some very curious behaviors & feelings displayed by Frost, feelings which Frost himself could not necessarily be counted on to notice or articulate if the story were told from his perspective. For example, the whole “4 personalities” thing, or the significance of the ownership issue, etc. So for that, yes, I am deeply thankful that Lilia can offer such intriguing insight into the mind of Frost.

However, that strength is this chapter’s weakness, because there is no balance. Where is Frost’s perspective? What has he been thinking this whole time? Yes, actions can speak louder than words and we’ve seen hints that Frost is changing, but still, his whole take on the relationship & the arguable degradation (IMHO) of Lilia is really missed here. The problem in a nutshell is this . . . in writing, you can choose to “show” or “tell.” Up to this point, Lilia has always been “telling” the reader how Frost feels, while Frost has been “showing” us how he feels, and his “showings” seem really subjective, so we as readers are left with a noticeably incomplete picture of the state of their relationship or what it really entails. So I say, let’s flip the script . . . let Frost “tell” how he feels, while Lilia “shows.”

Something else that I’ve really been waiting for is when this relationship will leave the womb & enter the real world. Recall the isolation of this chapter . . . or how about the trek to the Wendigos . . . or how about the trip to JIHAD . . . a common pattern here is that the couple is largely isolated from others, which is somewhat of a bad thing IMHO for 2 reasons. Firstly, so Lilia & Frost get along fine, that’s nice . . . now how well does Frost play with others? Better yet, given what’s been hinted at in this chapter, how well does LILIA play with others? It’s like Lilia has just totally abandoned her goal to “save” him & now she’s moreso concerned with just “owning” him, because of the level of fascination & caring he invokes in her. Furthermore, there’s the 2nd reason I don’t like this couple’s isolation: we don’t see how others are taking it. Yes, it’s one thing to hear Lilia suggest others have taken notice, but like I said earlier, others can often see what one is personally missing. A testimony from someone like Panner would arguably carry WAY more weight than Lilia’s little self-evaluation, particularly when she LIKES the changes in herself.

Now, I’ll fully admit that I’m probably not going to be the most objective here, but it just seems like with each chapter, I like Lilia less & less. For one, her humility appears to be gone now, or at least, is decreasing at an alarming rate, which I frankly don’t comprehend as being good. Hell, she makes herself sound like a female Alex, and she herself has openly wondered in the past why HE must act that way . . . and now she’s doing the same thing . . . nice. And then there’ s the jealousy bit with Lacus . . . Frost is right, this chick is INSANE. Did Lilia not pick up on the fact that Frost wanted to brutally murder Lacus, because that passage gave the distinct impression she WISHES he felt the same about her, which is INSANE, as stated above. I mean, yeah, jealousy is not always an entirely rational emotion, but really, you’re jealous of someone Frost DESPERATELY wanted to torture & kill? Really? Wow. Another example of her insanity is that she really seems to believe that Frost has already hit a point where he can’t live without her . . . again, you as the author know best, but I honestly yelled SIKE when I read over some of her thoughts. Yes, Lilia, you are special in some way to Frost, and he really wouldn’t like to kill you if he can avoid it, but that HARDLY supports the notion he can’t live without you, an impression she appears to zealously believe in.

I don’t know, this chapter just felt like the final nail in coffin for any semblance of a struggle Lilia’s “crusade” could have put up, because it feels like precious little is changing. At best, Frost’s actions towards Lilia are changing, but probably not towards others, which is the entire POINT of “saving” him, I’d imagine. Yes, it’s definitely a step in the right direction, but Lilia has done NOTHING to bridge the gap between how he treats her & others. What’s more, Lilia seems dangerously content with that, openly acknowledging that as long as she has his favor, all is right in her world. As such, she appears far more concerned with being Frost’s partner than his savior, and thus, her character continues to “darken” with each chapter, while Frost barely “lightens” (if at all).

Like I said in a previous review, this epic struggle just doesn’t feel very compelling anymore. It’s like watching over a terminally-ill patient; you can check her status every day (or chapter), but her condition is only getting WORSE, with no recovery in sight. Frankly, the only draw her descent offers me know is seeing how her fall will impact others, as well as how long she will lasts before Frost kills her, because he prophesized in the BEGINNING that she wouldn’t stay a Sufferer forever; we can see that bleeding out of her chapter-by-chapter, and as I recall, Frost DID say he’d kill her once she’d totally fallen. Anyway, can’t wait for the main story’s update.
12/9/2010 c1 ZE terrain
For your heaven story I believe that thier should be

Kira and the tree having a conversation, with kira of course being

angry at tree not saving his family.

It would really cool to see that as it would open up a bigger picture on what is going on in the heart of the 3 Grande chimera.

Good hunting
12/9/2010 c1 1OrangeP47
An interesting development. My first thought was "M huh, considering how much he walks the line to being with...", but yeah, became rather obvious why, later on.

I must say, I didn't think Lilia was this far... gone. While slowly the main story has been making be doubt her sanity more and more, I guess you can never judge something like that from just one perspective. While I'm hesitant to say she's "past the point of no return", as I bet something like Frost dying, and strange as that would be, would snap her out of it, the only thing left before she hits rock bottom is a change in her outward attitude.

Though, the story also shows that Frost is changing too, for better or worse. While no doubt he'll do something "heroic" before the end of the story now, he's still been evil way too long to make up for what he's done. Not like I'm a major believor in good and evil, but meh. I've always contended that Frost is just misunderstood, kinda, not like that excuses his actions. Despite this, or perhaps because of that, I imagine that however his story concludes is going to be rather interesting and amusing, though maybe not an unforseeable plot twist.
12/8/2010 c1 gatorfan
That was quite interesting. I'm amazed at how things have progressed between them. They've both changed too, especially Frost. I'm not surprised she's jealous of Lacus. I wonder how he'll react when Lacus eventually wakes up.

I hope to see more side stories, and I'll be waiting for the next chapter of RW too.
12/8/2010 c1 5AtrumUnas
Interesting. I say that a lot, don't I? I never really expected you to start doing one-shots, but this was pretty good. Longer than any short-story I've ever read, but it had a pretty good storyline behind it. I still can't get used to Frost, though, not like this. As an enemy, it's so much simpler. Be afraid, very afraid and fight for your life, because it belongs to him anyway. I can't predict much of anything about Frost anymore, and I'm not sure if I like it more than I dislike it or if its merely a paradox that the system was never really designed for.

Its funny to think about how all this started, with Vlad being the quintessential "evil-murderer" archetype in CC, the guy we could sorta understand and sorta forgive, but never grasp in the detail of what he'd done. Now, Frost is one of the single-most feared men on Earth in history. I am more afraid of Frost than I've ever been afraid of anything. Durandel was afraid of Noah. Noah was afraid of Frost. Frost Noah Durandel Zala Azrael on the fear scale. I'm another couple arrows down.


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