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for Primigravida

12/14/2010 c1 14WanderingStarmaster
Very, very sweet and well written.
12/12/2010 c1 107Mark of the Asphodel
It's always nice to see a story where the game heroes have to deal with the realities of peace and a "normal" life after their adventures. Eliwood's anxieties are all quite understandable, especially given how traumatic the loss of his father really would be, and the way Ninian tries to resolve them is sweet, gentle, and sensible. A couple of quibbles, though- it should be "Pherae," not "Pharae," and there are some grammatical errors, like "stately crisis" instead of "state crisis" at the end. Also, you describe Eliwood's appearance at the beginning, which doesn't completely fit given we're basically seeing everything from his own point of view. But, otherwise, this was a nice read.
12/8/2010 c1 22Gunlord500
Very well written! You portray Eliwood's emotions and anxieties very well, in my view. The only problem that stuck out to me was that you misspell Pherae as "Pharae." It's Pherae in game-two Es ^^ Other than that, I look forward to seeing moar from you! :D

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