for Better Left Unsaid2/5 c7 kharlsonn123
ohh yea shouldn't the smoke be sensitive to naruto because of his enhance senses specialy his nose. Its really just a a unnecessary addition to make naruto somewhat different just annoying, just hits a hatred to smokes and shit
ohh yea shouldn't the smoke be sensitive to naruto because of his enhance senses specialy his nose. Its really just a a unnecessary addition to make naruto somewhat different just annoying, just hits a hatred to smokes and shit
2/5 c6 kharlsonn123
the smocking thing just ruins shit, I know it's just a small detail and kind aa nit-pick.
the smocking thing just ruins shit, I know it's just a small detail and kind aa nit-pick.
2/5 c5 kharlsonn123
ohh thank god naruto is still on the orange uniform i hate it when they keep changing his style
ohh thank god naruto is still on the orange uniform i hate it when they keep changing his style
2/5 c3 kharlsonn123
hmm i kinda want to see the the outcome of sakura, choji and sasuke the dynamic would be quite interesting, cant wait to see how you develop the 3
hmm i kinda want to see the the outcome of sakura, choji and sasuke the dynamic would be quite interesting, cant wait to see how you develop the 3
1/18 c85 Nathan
Hello Kenchi, I'm from Brazil and I've been looking for a story with so much development for a long time, that goes beyond the standards of fanfics and even standard couples. I loved the dynamics of the Naruto and Ino couple, all the nuances, from when they were children until they fell in love.
All chapters were very well written.
I know it must be a lot of work to write a work of this size, but I'm really hoping that you can update it soon and that you can finish it even if it takes years. It's a story worth waiting for.
Once again, congratulations!
Hello Kenchi, I'm from Brazil and I've been looking for a story with so much development for a long time, that goes beyond the standards of fanfics and even standard couples. I loved the dynamics of the Naruto and Ino couple, all the nuances, from when they were children until they fell in love.
All chapters were very well written.
I know it must be a lot of work to write a work of this size, but I'm really hoping that you can update it soon and that you can finish it even if it takes years. It's a story worth waiting for.
Once again, congratulations!
1/18 c33 nathanfialho1
Hello Kenchi, I'm from Brazil and I've been looking for a story with so much development for a long time, that goes beyond the standards of fanfics and even standard couples. I loved the dynamics of the Naruto and Ino couple, all the nuances, from when they were children until they fell in love.
All chapters were very well written.
I know it must be a lot of work to write a work of this size, but I'm really hoping that you can update it soon and that you can finish it even if it takes years. It's a story worth waiting for.
Once again, congratulations!
Ps: I even created an account to repost this comment for you.
Hello Kenchi, I'm from Brazil and I've been looking for a story with so much development for a long time, that goes beyond the standards of fanfics and even standard couples. I loved the dynamics of the Naruto and Ino couple, all the nuances, from when they were children until they fell in love.
All chapters were very well written.
I know it must be a lot of work to write a work of this size, but I'm really hoping that you can update it soon and that you can finish it even if it takes years. It's a story worth waiting for.
Once again, congratulations!
Ps: I even created an account to repost this comment for you.
1/11 c35 
1bleachorange
I think I have figured out, more or less what has been nagging me about this fic. I enjoy the non-mission stuff more as its actually faster paced, and usually there is new stuff being learned or life circumstances are changing. Whenever the mission stuff is happening, particularly fights, it drags for me. Stuff takes longer to develop, and for whatever reason it cant hold my interest. So I think I will be setting this fic down. I have enjoyed the last few chapters, but now that I've been able to put my finger on whats been bugging me, it wont do any good to carry on.
So long, and thanks for the story. I'm sorry if my reviews seem overly critical at points, I try to both post from the heart and also be constructive (or at least identify discrete issues if I dont have a suggestion) but I too am only human, just like the author.
1bleachorangeI think I have figured out, more or less what has been nagging me about this fic. I enjoy the non-mission stuff more as its actually faster paced, and usually there is new stuff being learned or life circumstances are changing. Whenever the mission stuff is happening, particularly fights, it drags for me. Stuff takes longer to develop, and for whatever reason it cant hold my interest. So I think I will be setting this fic down. I have enjoyed the last few chapters, but now that I've been able to put my finger on whats been bugging me, it wont do any good to carry on.
So long, and thanks for the story. I'm sorry if my reviews seem overly critical at points, I try to both post from the heart and also be constructive (or at least identify discrete issues if I dont have a suggestion) but I too am only human, just like the author.
1/11 c31 bleachorange
I'll be honest, I skipped ahead to where the fight was called. My drama meter had already overflowed from the previous chapter.
For someone who likes being unpredictable and original, basically every aspect of this exam (the generalities, if not specifics of fights) was something I saw as soon as the brackets were unveiled. If you recognize the goal, the path is easy to see. I will also say that the prisoner thing in part 1 is also a classic, but you did have something I havent seen before for part 2, so there is that. I cant say part 2 was extremely interesting as it was so short, but it was original enough.
But yeah, going back to this chapter, I was just so done with everything being predictable and cliche, I skimmed the first part of the fight til naruto joined, and then basically skipped the rest. Maybe I missed something good, maybe it would have also been cliche. But hopefully the next few chapters are more enjoyable. I'm not sure if I like this fic overall, or not. Most of what I have enjoyed have been based on the team dynamic, and different interpersonal relations than in canon. The characterizations have been ok, if weird at times. The fights have ranged from interesting to bleh, but I can say that there is room to improve there. Its not easy to write good fight scenes, particularly when the comparison is a visual medium or more experienced authors writing (usually) original content that they can pace and frame how they want and dont have to think about it being judged against existing works in the same IP. But its worth noting. I dont think I have wasted my time reading this, though I have at times reached points where Ive thought of stopping. Eh, time will tell, I suppose.
I'll be honest, I skipped ahead to where the fight was called. My drama meter had already overflowed from the previous chapter.
For someone who likes being unpredictable and original, basically every aspect of this exam (the generalities, if not specifics of fights) was something I saw as soon as the brackets were unveiled. If you recognize the goal, the path is easy to see. I will also say that the prisoner thing in part 1 is also a classic, but you did have something I havent seen before for part 2, so there is that. I cant say part 2 was extremely interesting as it was so short, but it was original enough.
But yeah, going back to this chapter, I was just so done with everything being predictable and cliche, I skimmed the first part of the fight til naruto joined, and then basically skipped the rest. Maybe I missed something good, maybe it would have also been cliche. But hopefully the next few chapters are more enjoyable. I'm not sure if I like this fic overall, or not. Most of what I have enjoyed have been based on the team dynamic, and different interpersonal relations than in canon. The characterizations have been ok, if weird at times. The fights have ranged from interesting to bleh, but I can say that there is room to improve there. Its not easy to write good fight scenes, particularly when the comparison is a visual medium or more experienced authors writing (usually) original content that they can pace and frame how they want and dont have to think about it being judged against existing works in the same IP. But its worth noting. I dont think I have wasted my time reading this, though I have at times reached points where Ive thought of stopping. Eh, time will tell, I suppose.
1/11 c30 bleachorange
Whats up with these people acting like no ones going to stop gaara from attacking his competitors outside the arena? Theres fucking security for a reason you know. Theres kage sitting just across the way. Aint no way a kage is going to let their jinchuuriki, their weapon, get killed for zero reason. Theyll interfere. Fucking fake drama.
See? Fucking samurai guarding the medbay. Fake fucking drama.
Shizune in one moment says naruto is almost fully healed, and in the mext says its a patch job. Make up your mind.
Sigh. Naruto is delayed further like Goku? So much drama-mongering.
Its still amazing to me the author had shizune NOT wake him up after she said she would, before the match, when she specifically healed him so he could compete. Why? To manufacture drama. That 20 mins of him sleeping without having a medic nin heal him wasnt going to do shit. Zero reason for her to let him just sleep.
Bitch, no arena is that confusing. It seems like youve never been in one. It is literally impossible to run through half the stadium and not find the right way to go.
Sigh, this was an annoying chapter to read.
Whats up with these people acting like no ones going to stop gaara from attacking his competitors outside the arena? Theres fucking security for a reason you know. Theres kage sitting just across the way. Aint no way a kage is going to let their jinchuuriki, their weapon, get killed for zero reason. Theyll interfere. Fucking fake drama.
See? Fucking samurai guarding the medbay. Fake fucking drama.
Shizune in one moment says naruto is almost fully healed, and in the mext says its a patch job. Make up your mind.
Sigh. Naruto is delayed further like Goku? So much drama-mongering.
Its still amazing to me the author had shizune NOT wake him up after she said she would, before the match, when she specifically healed him so he could compete. Why? To manufacture drama. That 20 mins of him sleeping without having a medic nin heal him wasnt going to do shit. Zero reason for her to let him just sleep.
Bitch, no arena is that confusing. It seems like youve never been in one. It is literally impossible to run through half the stadium and not find the right way to go.
Sigh, this was an annoying chapter to read.
1/11 c28 bleachorange
What? Only a single medic-nin from the 5 major and many minor ninja villages is present for the chunin exams? What nonsense is this? Medical care is the #1 priority after testing the examinees! I would expect every village to bring their own mednin in addition to what was agreed to for the proctors. No one would risk the future of the ninja talented enough to make it to the finals of the chunin exams. Theyre the top 5% of all applicants, the cream of the crop! Sending them into an environment where they may be injured or killed is different from not being prepared to heal any injuries.
Hisashi dying proves my point here.
I still find it hilarious that fair play isnt a concern for the brackets. The exams being held in the land of iron and the joint proctors all show a massive concern for fair play. I think the author is more concerned about finding people he can come up with to fight (and couldnt), as evidenced that konoha had 5/12 teams make it (and we know more konoha nin than any others due to the protagonist effect). Its simply asinine that konohas rookie teams were all good enough to make the finals against a field of every other genin team in all the lands.
This is me calling out the author for not being better at creating original characters to fill out a 16 team bracket. Because I read exactly which teams would advance against who all the way to the finals, as soon as the brackets were revealed. Gaara 'needed' to fight Naruto to keep traditional storybeats alive, as did Neji. But Sasuke would fall against Fu, because including Fu only makes sense if she fights Naruto as well. You want to use him as the only agent of change in the tournament for some reason. Gaara needed some scrubs to kill to be scary, and kabuto would bow out as he did before. If you let him get a bye, you dont need to create 4 other teams to compete. You could have also had 4 less teams competing, but you didnt want that.
So circling back around to the brackets - theyre set up like that because it was convenient for the author, not because the villages involved would have allowed such an unfair setup.
Gaara spying on them is a nice tweak. He wants to kill naruto so badly because he is envious of him. He is raging against his lot in life, but cant handle that, so he wants to take away from him what he doesnt have himself. Adding in fascination with his target makes it much more psychotic. Nice job!
And to clarify my earlier thoughts on asuma acting like a dumbass not being like him, I still think that. It *was* still funny - i just think it was so out of character it didnt work for him.
What? Only a single medic-nin from the 5 major and many minor ninja villages is present for the chunin exams? What nonsense is this? Medical care is the #1 priority after testing the examinees! I would expect every village to bring their own mednin in addition to what was agreed to for the proctors. No one would risk the future of the ninja talented enough to make it to the finals of the chunin exams. Theyre the top 5% of all applicants, the cream of the crop! Sending them into an environment where they may be injured or killed is different from not being prepared to heal any injuries.
Hisashi dying proves my point here.
I still find it hilarious that fair play isnt a concern for the brackets. The exams being held in the land of iron and the joint proctors all show a massive concern for fair play. I think the author is more concerned about finding people he can come up with to fight (and couldnt), as evidenced that konoha had 5/12 teams make it (and we know more konoha nin than any others due to the protagonist effect). Its simply asinine that konohas rookie teams were all good enough to make the finals against a field of every other genin team in all the lands.
This is me calling out the author for not being better at creating original characters to fill out a 16 team bracket. Because I read exactly which teams would advance against who all the way to the finals, as soon as the brackets were revealed. Gaara 'needed' to fight Naruto to keep traditional storybeats alive, as did Neji. But Sasuke would fall against Fu, because including Fu only makes sense if she fights Naruto as well. You want to use him as the only agent of change in the tournament for some reason. Gaara needed some scrubs to kill to be scary, and kabuto would bow out as he did before. If you let him get a bye, you dont need to create 4 other teams to compete. You could have also had 4 less teams competing, but you didnt want that.
So circling back around to the brackets - theyre set up like that because it was convenient for the author, not because the villages involved would have allowed such an unfair setup.
Gaara spying on them is a nice tweak. He wants to kill naruto so badly because he is envious of him. He is raging against his lot in life, but cant handle that, so he wants to take away from him what he doesnt have himself. Adding in fascination with his target makes it much more psychotic. Nice job!
And to clarify my earlier thoughts on asuma acting like a dumbass not being like him, I still think that. It *was* still funny - i just think it was so out of character it didnt work for him.
1/11 c27 bleachorange
Naruto asking neji what he thinks of himself in various ways and neji just responding openly like a dumbass for the sake of the authors exposition just doesnt work for me. Its ok pre-fight, but people dont hold a verbal debate while fighting. They may make comments, or try to anger their foe, but theres no word diarrhea. The peanut gallery comments on a naruto speech dont do it for me either. It needs to be executed better to work well.
Well, Asuma is cool. The author just wanted him to look like a dumbass here, so I am ignoring that sequence.
Naruto asking neji what he thinks of himself in various ways and neji just responding openly like a dumbass for the sake of the authors exposition just doesnt work for me. Its ok pre-fight, but people dont hold a verbal debate while fighting. They may make comments, or try to anger their foe, but theres no word diarrhea. The peanut gallery comments on a naruto speech dont do it for me either. It needs to be executed better to work well.
Well, Asuma is cool. The author just wanted him to look like a dumbass here, so I am ignoring that sequence.
1/11 c25 bleachorange
For the medical scene, the sensei should be talking to the mednin, not shino, about the condition of the members of team 8.
Wtf? Senbon (needles) with bells tied to them? That shit cant be thrown if you attach something with more mass like that, lol! What a shit idea.
Um, what? You actively made Kin worse than in the anime, and are giving the hired 'killers' ZERO killer instinct or killing intent. Like, this is a clown show at this point.
At least the following fights by sound showed commitment to battle to the death.
For the medical scene, the sensei should be talking to the mednin, not shino, about the condition of the members of team 8.
Wtf? Senbon (needles) with bells tied to them? That shit cant be thrown if you attach something with more mass like that, lol! What a shit idea.
Um, what? You actively made Kin worse than in the anime, and are giving the hired 'killers' ZERO killer instinct or killing intent. Like, this is a clown show at this point.
At least the following fights by sound showed commitment to battle to the death.
1/10 c24 bleachorange
The banter could use some improvement. The need for the characters to explain exposition you seem to have is not good. Just have the exposition elsewhere. In addition, after having gotten this far in the fic, I think you should do some omake chaps for characters expressing anger in words (mostly) and actions to an extent. I dont feel the anger from the characters that you seem to be trying to express in many points in the fic so far. You have in your head a mental idea of what it looks and sounds like when you write it, but you need to communicate those to the reader better.
For all the foreshadowing, the team 10 fight was a whimper. There was no payoff for any emotional investment into the implications of revenge on the son of the yondaime. I was disappointed with how quickly and easily that fight went, and was hoping for more from the iwa team.
Is it bad I skipped most of team 8's fight? Maybe. But I figured they would lose to Fu's team (which they did) and I didnt really care about the Taki team at all. Theyre side characters with no lead-in to get me invested into them beforehand, and in my opinion Fu and Taki in general are just boring.
The banter could use some improvement. The need for the characters to explain exposition you seem to have is not good. Just have the exposition elsewhere. In addition, after having gotten this far in the fic, I think you should do some omake chaps for characters expressing anger in words (mostly) and actions to an extent. I dont feel the anger from the characters that you seem to be trying to express in many points in the fic so far. You have in your head a mental idea of what it looks and sounds like when you write it, but you need to communicate those to the reader better.
For all the foreshadowing, the team 10 fight was a whimper. There was no payoff for any emotional investment into the implications of revenge on the son of the yondaime. I was disappointed with how quickly and easily that fight went, and was hoping for more from the iwa team.
Is it bad I skipped most of team 8's fight? Maybe. But I figured they would lose to Fu's team (which they did) and I didnt really care about the Taki team at all. Theyre side characters with no lead-in to get me invested into them beforehand, and in my opinion Fu and Taki in general are just boring.