for Winning her backwith Help ofcourse2/14/2011 c4 
3MidnightInspiration3
Well done again! I am absolutely loving the way this story is going, please update soon. On a side note, just a helpful hint: your story seems rushed, like you love the story and cant wait to get everything out and so you type it out furiously without double checking it. It's a great fanfic and very captivating, but maybe try reading it through after each chapter is finished and seeing if you can add details and/or descriptions, and smooth transitions between scenes, characters, etc. Either way, I'm loving it. Keep it up!
3MidnightInspiration3Well done again! I am absolutely loving the way this story is going, please update soon. On a side note, just a helpful hint: your story seems rushed, like you love the story and cant wait to get everything out and so you type it out furiously without double checking it. It's a great fanfic and very captivating, but maybe try reading it through after each chapter is finished and seeing if you can add details and/or descriptions, and smooth transitions between scenes, characters, etc. Either way, I'm loving it. Keep it up!
1/18/2011 c3 Quorra101
Hey great story you have potential. When are you gonna update again? Let me tell you, YOU JUST GOT A NEW FAN! I'm adding ur story to my favoorites.
Hey great story you have potential. When are you gonna update again? Let me tell you, YOU JUST GOT A NEW FAN! I'm adding ur story to my favoorites.
1/18/2011 c3 48MyraValhallah
Cool chapter.
I hope that this Damien guy gets what's coming to him for stealing Jareth's Sarah
48MyraValhallahCool chapter.
I hope that this Damien guy gets what's coming to him for stealing Jareth's Sarah
1/17/2011 c2 35Gothic-Romantic99
Okay, so now the fun's about to start. I wonder how Sarah will take the fact that her friends are meddling with her personal life. Then again if this Damien (nice choice in a name, by the way) is as bad as he seems then maybe it's a good thing.
For some reason Damien, although we haven't met him yet, is giving off bad vibes. When Mina mentioned Sarah's life suddenly becoming better after meeting Damien it gave me a reason to feel concern.
Nice job with this story. I look forward to future chapters.
35Gothic-Romantic99Okay, so now the fun's about to start. I wonder how Sarah will take the fact that her friends are meddling with her personal life. Then again if this Damien (nice choice in a name, by the way) is as bad as he seems then maybe it's a good thing.
For some reason Damien, although we haven't met him yet, is giving off bad vibes. When Mina mentioned Sarah's life suddenly becoming better after meeting Damien it gave me a reason to feel concern.
Nice job with this story. I look forward to future chapters.
1/17/2011 c1 Gothic-Romantic99
Hey, this is an interesting story you have here. So Sarah is getting married to some fop, well they can't have that, can they?
I was hooked on this story the instant I read that first line. I found Squeak to be adorable the way he announced the letter. Nice job with the letter itself, I can hear Toby's voice throughout it. Now I wonder why Toby doesn't like Sarah's new man, we're sure to find out soon.
Yay! Jareth is going to help. Although I'm kind of feeling nervous for Hoggle, keeping something like this from Jareth and all. This is going to be an exciting story.
Hey, this is an interesting story you have here. So Sarah is getting married to some fop, well they can't have that, can they?
I was hooked on this story the instant I read that first line. I found Squeak to be adorable the way he announced the letter. Nice job with the letter itself, I can hear Toby's voice throughout it. Now I wonder why Toby doesn't like Sarah's new man, we're sure to find out soon.
Yay! Jareth is going to help. Although I'm kind of feeling nervous for Hoggle, keeping something like this from Jareth and all. This is going to be an exciting story.
1/12/2011 c2 17Spellman
Nice beginning so far. =) This has the potential of being a pretty good fanfic.
A few words of critique though.
You have a few typos, but that's understandable; everyone has them. But make sure you reread at least once so you can catch most of them.
Also, you have a few run-on sentences. They are grammatically correct, however they give the story a feeling of being rushed. I was reading it like everything was on a sugar high, hehe. I see you have described some things (Well-done! That can be hard to do when you're itching for dialogue and plot) but if you add in more and break up a few more sentences, it will slow the story down so readers don't naturally speed read. Plus it will make your chapters longer and leave people feeling as if they got more out of it. =D
And I know how great reviews are, but making people give you reviews tends to make people not give reviews and then you get stuck playing the waiting game (Trust me, I've done that before). Better to ask graciously for reviews but not push the matter. You've got a good fic going, so don't worry. Reviews will come in time. =)
Oh, and this is not a critique towards you, but something I've seen many other writers do that I thought I'd warn you about. No matter what you write, whether you think it's brilliant or garbage, NEVER EVER say in an author note how part of your story sucks or you didn't like something but oh well. If you don't like your own fic, it discourages everyone else cause why should they like it? That being said, if you say it's the best thing in the world, it better be, cause otherwise it's false advertising. Better to say, if anything at all, that you enjoyed writing it and hope others enjoy reading it. Or something along those lines. (And I hope other authors see this note, cause some people really could use this advice).
I hope I haven't talked your ear off (or the equivalent for me typing and you reading) but I also hope that my review is helpful. And trust me, if your story wasn't good, I wouldn't go to the trouble of writing this much. =D Keep up the good work and I'll be keeping an eye on your updates! ^_~
17SpellmanNice beginning so far. =) This has the potential of being a pretty good fanfic.
A few words of critique though.
You have a few typos, but that's understandable; everyone has them. But make sure you reread at least once so you can catch most of them.
Also, you have a few run-on sentences. They are grammatically correct, however they give the story a feeling of being rushed. I was reading it like everything was on a sugar high, hehe. I see you have described some things (Well-done! That can be hard to do when you're itching for dialogue and plot) but if you add in more and break up a few more sentences, it will slow the story down so readers don't naturally speed read. Plus it will make your chapters longer and leave people feeling as if they got more out of it. =D
And I know how great reviews are, but making people give you reviews tends to make people not give reviews and then you get stuck playing the waiting game (Trust me, I've done that before). Better to ask graciously for reviews but not push the matter. You've got a good fic going, so don't worry. Reviews will come in time. =)
Oh, and this is not a critique towards you, but something I've seen many other writers do that I thought I'd warn you about. No matter what you write, whether you think it's brilliant or garbage, NEVER EVER say in an author note how part of your story sucks or you didn't like something but oh well. If you don't like your own fic, it discourages everyone else cause why should they like it? That being said, if you say it's the best thing in the world, it better be, cause otherwise it's false advertising. Better to say, if anything at all, that you enjoyed writing it and hope others enjoy reading it. Or something along those lines. (And I hope other authors see this note, cause some people really could use this advice).
I hope I haven't talked your ear off (or the equivalent for me typing and you reading) but I also hope that my review is helpful. And trust me, if your story wasn't good, I wouldn't go to the trouble of writing this much. =D Keep up the good work and I'll be keeping an eye on your updates! ^_~
12/27/2010 c2 3MidnightInspiration3
Very good. Cant wait until Jareth gets thrown into the mix of their plotting. Also, you have perfectly captured Sir Dydimus. Loving it, keep it up!
3MidnightInspiration3Very good. Cant wait until Jareth gets thrown into the mix of their plotting. Also, you have perfectly captured Sir Dydimus. Loving it, keep it up!
12/27/2010 c2 2Princess of the Fae
In the movie Hoggle is a dwarf. Gnomes are smaller then Dwarves(gnomes are about the size of a salt shaker).
2Princess of the FaeIn the movie Hoggle is a dwarf. Gnomes are smaller then Dwarves(gnomes are about the size of a salt shaker).
12/26/2010 c1 48MyraValhallah
Cool start- I like the letter from Toby can't wait to see where you're going with this
48MyraValhallahCool start- I like the letter from Toby can't wait to see where you're going with this