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1/31/2011 c1 2Luxionids
Don't listen to that bitch Farla! She's been going around dictating how people should write their stories for too long now and it needs to stop! If she doesn't like it, she should ignore random mistakes! We're not trying to be fricken professionals and we're not going to publish these for the world to buy. Who gives a damn if someone capitalizes the C in Cyndaquil. Apparently only Farla.

Ah the Team Rocket Radio Tower takeover, good times. It's a great read so far and I'll probably read more soon.

1/11/2011 c1 154Farla
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it."

It's really easy to overrely on dialogue to tell your story. Dialogue is easy to write - not only have you heard people talking all the time, but you also talk yourself and you can easily imagine talking about what's happening in your story. The problem is that this doesn't mean that dialogue is actually moving the story along or interesting to read. You need to strip out unnecessary conversations and spend more time on narration, describing the setting around them, the actions they're taking and what they're thinking.
1/9/2011 c1 1A Half-Empty Glass
Da** never seen anything like this before. Interesting concept, a unique interpretation of the Rockets takeover of the radio tower, and pretty well written

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